How many of you have made it?

[washerdrier]

Another thread about spending money and saving for a deposit to buy a house got me thinking about how so many people seem to be in a situation where they're either renting and saving to buy, just married and saving to have kids or in some other way squirrelling money away for the next stage...

I feel like the generations before us didn't really live like this.

I just wondered by show of hands how many of us have made it... I.e. completed their family, in their forever home, pensions ticking along, fun money available each week. Vs how many of us are still striving to get there? Bonus points for sharing your age.

Late 40s.
Saved deposit, bought house, (moved once more to 2nd house), extended twice and have just paid off mortgage.
Dd mid teens. Does a couple of very expensive sports and we've covered a fair amount of costs for SNs DX and therapies over the years also.
DH has private pension for over 25 years, about to move to pub,in sector job at significant pay cut but the least good pension scheme (career averaging), as they've changed the, in past 20 years a few times.
I am public sector but long enough to have the "average of final 3 years" as my base (and will earn very close or the full max of 40 years for x/80 as my pension).

Have savings too, DH better but I have been putting money away directly from my pay check since week 1 working post-Uni.

What was the last question? Wedding? Yes we got married, and paid for most ourselves but not the reception (DPILs paid for drinks reception and DPs paid for the dinner). But we had saved assuming we were paying for everything and only found out a month before, when it was too late to change our honeymoon from a week SC in Gran Canaria in February ...

Sorry if I have forgotten 1.

Now at the stage of able to enjoy life somewhat, in between the chaos of family life and both of is being so busy always at work.

I'm 34.
Two DCs. Might have another and could afford to.
Husband's salary £35k. I am a sahm just now.
Own small house with affordable mortgage. Don't see why we'd need a big house, happy with DCs sharing bedroom etc (I did and I survived).
We save money for future things like new (second hand) car when ours breaks.
We sometimes go on cheap hols, out for dinner etc, but basically our hobbies are free. We love walking, exploring, foraging etc.

We achieved this by having a decent salary (£35k is really good I think), but also by doing a lot of it ourselves - the house we now own was only a shell of walls when we bought it. We renovated ourselves on evenings and weekends - lots of trial and error!

I think people might have higher expectations of what constitutes 'making it' now. A bedroom each for every DC, car each for every adult, foreign holiday every year, etc. Are we actually comparing like for like when comparing the generations?

Nearly, 40. Tick the boxes you mention. Doesn't mean my life is easy, or that I'm even that happy. I'm in a comfortable and lucky position, but I'm still aware that it wouldn't take much for it to fall apart.

50

2 adult DC who went to independent schools from 4-18

Worked freelance at times, to fit in with largely being a SAHM

Divorced

Own two properties with no mortgage (live in one of them)

No pension

Lowish income now, but also no huge outgoings

But... I benefited from a trust fund when I was 25, which I put into property and which offset the financially ruinous nature of divorce

So I have no idea if I've "made it" or not!

In Denmark. Im saving for each dc to go to efterskole. Its boarding school for one year when youre about 15 - they are 10 and 6 now. In terms of what uk boarding school costs the price is very very low but still, you never know what the future holds. I have my own savings but its not quite the buffer I would like.

Overpaid my student loan to get it paid off quicker. I know that doesnt save anytjing in the long run but repaying manually from abroad is a real ballache so paid it off in a year and a half to save headspace. Plus we were so used to having no money that when I got a job I started overpaying immediately so we didnt miss the extra income iyswim.

Im 31, have 2 DC and wont have any more by choice.
Moving into our new build asap - big house in the country with lots of land.
Have a decent 4year old car.

I get 750pw after tax - 450 max a week covers all my bills so about 300pw spare. This includes all our personal insurances for death/ sickness/ serious illness etc.

DP earns more than me so has more disposable income than me so holidays/christmas etc are split between us out of our disposable income.

5 years ago though, we had nothing. We were both on lower incomes and We were barely getting through each week. I also struggled with our child who has autism. I didnt think we would ever get to where we are but we did. We plugged away little by little and eventually made it, so dont give up hope.

Today is definitely harder the working tax credit system it a lot better than the UC (new system). I know the UC offers a better rent element for some people and this may be better than the previous tax credits.
I still feel overall the tax credit is better by far you get the run on and the bonus if you do 30 hours unlike UC.

UC won't pay ANY of your mortgage even £200/£300 a month.

Around 14 years ago my family member managed to get a mortgage and save with a few kids she would never be able to do it on the UC in today's world as they won't pay anything at all towards your mortgage.

@Millie50 that's a very good point. We spend a lot more on non essential now than say, my parents did.

We did a lot of very frugal living to get there, I only bought my first car after dd was born (in my 30s), still use a lot of public transport etc. Our house is a lot smaller than the other family members who own houses (my or DH siblings) but we live in a capital city, they don't. We did a lot to,improve both houses ourselves over the years (not just paint but tiling, making curtains and soft furnishings, major garden renovations etc) and brought in professionals when we needed. But we also have good professionals we use to keep on top of regular maintenance.

Now I spend a lot on groceries for convenience, but I have done the living on a shoestring for a long long time. And if I can, I still buy yellow sticker and freeze, use vouchers, batch cook etc.

37, single mum, council house. Decent job but can't afford childcare on my wage alone.
Made a roast dinner before but that's about it 😆

@StrictlyAFemaleFemale hang on... never mind all the rest, there's a place you can send your kid for a year when they're 15? that's genius!

I’m 27, married with three kids, own a house worth above the average property price in our town, obviously with a mortgage though. We have fun money left over, I’m currently on unpaid extra maternity leave. I think we’ve made it, although I’d like to do one more house move before we are in our forever home.

Late 30s. I don’t believe in the concept of a “forever home”, I certainly don’t intend to live here when I’m elderly and my children have flown the nest. But we own a house that suits the life stage we’re in, we have pensions and we’re financially comfortable - you’d call us “made it”.

I don’t consider us to have “made it” though. Very few people are so secure they couldn’t be rocked by ill health, severely disabled child, divorce, financial catastrophe… usually through no fault of their own. Life is precarious. We take each day as it comes.

I’m 31, we’re in our 3rd bought house (mortgage obviously), bought our first when I was 23 - zone 3 London 2 bed flat for £215k if I remember rightly. But DH inherited £100k very very unexpectedly so that explains it! Expecting baby 3 and feel pretty happy. But have no career to speak of, so I while I’m very fortunate and grateful I have certainly not ‘made it’, just luck (and a shit ton of hard work on DH’s behalf, 32 hour days solid working not unheard of in this house), but I just sit here and have it very easy to be fair!

I'm 60, I was lucky enough to earn enough to have bought & paid off my mortgage on my flat by tge time I was 35, so before getting together with now DH. He owned a house with a mortgage. Together we could afford to buy & be mortgage free before having DCs. Just as well really as after a successful career, I became disabled after having DD & had to give up my job. DH isn't a high earner, but with such low outgoings we manage just fine with money to spare. So I'd guess that counts as making it?

These threads always seem to bring out the loaded and comfortably off posters. It can't be that the majority of mumsnetters are on 50k salaries and live in 500k houses...

I’m 31, one baby, lovely partner, we’re very high earners and have a flat in London and a country home. The flip side is we have a massive mortgage and both of us work long hours (730-730 is a good day) so I’m going to be doing some soul searching during my maternity leave to decide what we want long term or if we can take the pay cut to have a better family life. But overall, since we moved out of London I feel we have made it even though the country house is small and not what I imagined for a forever home, I’m much happier out of the city. I’m also very aware not everyone has the opportunities we’ve had - we both went to Oxbridge and got into extremely competitive City jobs in our twenties that have very good earning trajectories.

Bought my 4 bed detached house nearly 40 years ago, for the princely sum of £29,000! I was in my twenties at the time.
Now retired, with three pensions and an investment income, after 36 years as a hospital doctor.
Gave my DDs £100,000 each as deposits to get them on the property ladder. One flat in central Edinburgh, one tiny terraced house in the suburbs. Both worth more at current market value than my detached house in rural Perthshire! Edinburgh prices are horrific.
I think my generation (I’m mid sixties) had it much easier than today’s youngsters. We had free grants for uni, and property was much more affordable, even though mortgage interest rates were 15% at the time.

@flashbac you're right, it's probably not a very scientific study I'm still finding all the comments interesting though. Particularly those who have turned the situation around as at the moment I feel a bit hopeless

I’m 41, 4 kids, recently returned to work as a teacher. My partner earns more than me but works stupidly long hours. We are overdrawn in all our accounts because we are rubbish with money. Our house needs lots of work now. I’m utterly exhausted although very glad to be working again after so many years of sahm/part time. Life feels like a struggle every day to be honest. I love the children dearly but I’m worried about wishing these chaotic years away

48, teenage kids, large 5 bed house. Second home, good jobs, high joint income and pensions, money saved to send kids to university if they want to go.

Started life with 16 year old single mother on council estate with hardly anything. Have never inherited a penny. Made some wise property choices, that’s literally all.

Worked hard but also been very fortunate. Harder these days.

@flashbac I totally agree. The thread has made me feel like shit if I’m honest.

Moved in with my (now ex) H age 26 into one bed flat. Saved all my salary for 5 years, lived on his, lived very frugally. Got enough for a deposit age 31. Bought house, got married, had kids age 34.

I will never ‘make it’ by conventional standards. I’m early 40s, started a new career two years ago right at the bottom but now been promoted so I’m climbing. Been privately renting for years and years. Zero credit rating and no savings. Just waiting for the kids to all leave home and then we are fucking it all off to do something different. Live on a houseboat? Work all the festivals all summer travelling around? Get a live in job? Who knows?! Just heard from the landlord that they’re selling up in the next few years so we will possibly be pushed in to it sooner.
I suppose it depends on your personality. I’m quite happy not to be ‘settled’ once the kids have grown up. I like the adventure.

I feel like we've made it.
4 bed house. Forever home. I'm early 40s, but dh older, so hoping we get to pay this mortgage off.
1 holiday a year. Both have a car, but wouldn't be able to work without them (work places 20+miles away).

Missed the boat on cheap houses, so didn't make any money on our 1st house as we paid double what previous owners paid. Yes, I'm bitter.

Paid childcare for 2 kids, for years. But now they're older, so we can afford a bigger mortgage.

At the same age, my parents were in a house slightly bigger than our 1st house. They could afford it on one wage. But we had no holidays and every penny was counted. They paid the mortgage off by the time they were 50, but then just squirrelled the money away. It will now be used to fund their care, so what was the point?

I should have:
Not gone to uni.
Got a job at 18.
Bought a house at 18 or so, then used the money to get bigger houses, so I could stay in a less involved job with smaller commute.