How many of you have made it?

[washerdrier]

Another thread about spending money and saving for a deposit to buy a house got me thinking about how so many people seem to be in a situation where they're either renting and saving to buy, just married and saving to have kids or in some other way squirrelling money away for the next stage...

I feel like the generations before us didn't really live like this.

I just wondered by show of hands how many of us have made it... I.e. completed their family, in their forever home, pensions ticking along, fun money available each week. Vs how many of us are still striving to get there? Bonus points for sharing your age.

I probably had just about made it. We were doing great, 2 kids, both getting to there or thereabouts career wise. Then exh had an affair and we got divorced and now it's unlikely I will ever get to a point where I don't worry about money every month. It's a bit galling to think about really so I try not to too much!

Made it - to retirement without quite going bankrupt.

OK so I fully own my small house but nearly everything in it is second hand or had to be saved for.

Decent (ish) mattress bought last year.
TV 5 years old
Suite 25 years old

Married in 1976 and the only new thing we had was a bed.

I'm 45, been married for 2 yrs (after 15 yrs together), live in a mortgage-free 2 up, 2 down, no children (by choice), work in a charity shop, 19 yr old car, all ends meet with a few quid to spare.

Have I 'made it'?

I'm 31, almost made it, need to get our forever home.
Moved out at 23 with bf (now DH):
Opened joint bill and savings accounts,
Rented walking distance from my job which allowed us to reduce to 1 car household,
Decided what was important luxury wise (gym/tv etc)
Worked out total outgoings and split it in half,
Looked at left over fund's, and decided what we needed to save in order to have enough saved to buy within 2 years,
Agreed on 'fun money'
Bought our house a year later as we fell in love with our dog, so a year ahead of plans, which meant we compromised on what we bought (affordability)
We stopped preventing pregnancy once we'd bought the house, but took 3 and a half years to conceive DS.
Planning to sell up and buy a bigger property next year, may or may not try for a second child once we're settled.

My view of 'made it' is achieving what you want. To me that was quite literally my own home and family, everything else is just a bonus

We're there in that we have what you describe, although have many years of mortgage ahead of us! Excellent pensions. Disposable income. We started out on benefits so if you'd have told me back then the wages we'd be on 10 years later I wouldn't have believed you. But the more we get the more we want and I'm always striving for more. Just trying to practice gratitude so those ambitions are healthy and motivating rather than distracting.

I'm 62, have had the house and mortgage. Due to separating just at the time house prices were rising like mad and having to sell I couldn't afford to buy alone, so I've been renting for 20 years and probably will be for the rest of my life. Also unemployed and can't find a job! So all this talk of people my age having such a cruisy time doesn't apply to us all. I'm not moaning however, pretty content with my lot.

42. Bought a house with help to buy 3 years ago quite easily but trying to get the forever home that isn't tiny is effing hard. Trying to drag £10k together to pump deposit for 3 bed not shit house in mediocre area. It's so hard. I have to keep reminding myself I actually earn ok money it's just dumping £500 in savings every month makes me so skint.

Improving the next house will make me skint too but at least that's more flexible. I might have a year off diy!

I should earn more but I had a mh breakdown and turned down a promotion because I know I can't handle it yet. The salary increase is likely the difference between sailing to the end of the month and lurching.

I haven't yet made it. I don't really know when I will.

Hmm, I’m not sure either. ‘Made it’ by being out of miserable marriage for best part of 20 yrs, but very tough financially after divorce. Six years on, own home worth £450k, mortgage £200k, decent secure job @£50k pa but minimal savings and a crap non existent pension. Not due any inheritance either so am expecting to work forever .

Think I've done OK
Permanent job with decent pension
Forever home with lots of equity
(15 years left on mortgage but we're early 40s)
We rent out two homes that we bought before we married so bit of security there

I think I’m probably there in terms of your definition of having it “made”- I’m 40, no children by choice (so family is complete!), married young and got on the property ladder early. Now have several properties and have recently bought what will be our long-term home- it’s big with lots of land and is generally very lovely and plush. About five years ago, my husband and I both happened to see massive advancement in our careers so we’re both now on high wages and have significant savings and investments, and really healthy pensions. We’ll retire within the next ten years, all going well.

However, I’ve had a very tough year medically with a diagnosis that has floored me. Treatment is going well, but it’s a long battle. I’ve been taking time off work when needed, then back in when I can manage it, and am very fortunate to have an excellent employer who pays me in full for sick leave.

My definition of having it all is a bit different, though. Absolutely, financial stability is hugely important and makes other things much easier, but I have a really happy marriage and good relationships with friends and family. I’m able to use my money to support charities and help family out. In work, I spend a lot of time mentoring more junior female staff, and have built a lovely team where everyone works hard and we all benefit from flexibility. I’ve never had someone who reports in to me miss a nativity play or a a sports day because they haven’t been able to get out of work.

I think that is the important stuff.

@RobertaFirmino

I'm 45, been married for 2 yrs (after 15 yrs together), live in a mortgage-free 2 up, 2 down, no children (by choice), work in a charity shop, 19 yr old car, all ends meet with a few quid to spare.

Have I 'made it'?

I think yes - I suppose what I meant was are you done? Like, are you where you wanted to ultimately be. Or are you looking to and saving for the next stage... if a 2 up 2 down is your forever home and you don't want kids then you're done.

54, married at 21, 4 adult children. Mortgage paid off, no debts apart from a car loan. Very small amount of savings, very small pension pot but happy and healthy and glad that we raised 4 children to be wonderful adults. No handouts from family, likely no inheritances and frugal with money so not lots of fun money, rarely eat out, basic UK holidays but hey happy with my lot. Never wanted a career, just a job and glad I was a SAHP for a few years. Hopefully going part time soon and will have to cut down further, but will appreciate the time to do things at home which keep me happy.

When my parents married they saved 100% of my mum's salary to save for a house deposit and moved to a cheaper area. They had one crap car and couldn't afford night outs.

DH and I on the other hand married later and already owned a home. Whilst dating we ate out 2-3 nights a week.

In-laws had similar struggles when first married and struggled to put food on the table.

Our generation had it easy, we saved for a house deposit whilst having hobbies and nights out. I've been able to afford new clothes and nights out, I ran my own car, I never went hungry or couldn't afford to hear my home.

Not striving to get there and not there.
Really I'm just winging it.

Threads like this make me think why on earth did I become a nurse . I might have paid my mortgage off (small terrace in NW) and have okaish pension but I'm probably going to have to retire early due to unforseen ill health so all my plans are basically up in the air. My retirement is definitely not going to be as comfortable as I thought.
I agree that threads like these make you feel even more a failure and actually that MN isn't really a place for the likes of me.

I’m 29 and my husband is 30. We have a 4 bed house (not our forever home as I want a bigger house but we won’t ever have to move if we cant afford it), one child (I want another though in 4 years time). Earn 6 figures as a household, pensions, savings etc ticking over nicely so I would think I’ve “made it”

I don't think we've made it in the slightest but we're happy enough? 31. I try not to think too far into the future as it eats me up with terrible worry.

Married, three beautiful children,we earn between us 2.2k a month...we work opposite one another so we don't need to pay for childcare (unfortunately it means we hardly see each other). We rent and have done since we left home (not though choice at 18) I think we're considered mid earners....but im not sure it feels tough some months! We have food in the fridge, clothes on our backs and manage one mini break away a year..both went to uni, hubby has retrained twice since but has struggled finding work in the field he has trained in...jobs seem to be over subscribed! One day we'd like to own our own home and have somewhere secure for the children...it feels very hard to grasp though some days.

I just wondered by show of hands how many of us have made it... I.e. completed their family, in their forever home, pensions ticking along, fun money available each week. Vs how many of us are still striving to get there? Bonus points for sharing your age.

I'm in my 40s but I don't consider what you describe as 'making it'. I haven't achieved all you consider to be be 'it' but equally I'm not striving to either.

Sorry @justlonelystars to pick on you, your post just stood out in the sense that it's kind of what I meant by the way we live differently now. You want a bigger house and you want more kids... so whilst you have far more in terms of housing and savings and income than many of not most, you're striving for the next stage. If that makes sense

Just turned 58, disabled, dh died last year (no life insurance payout as died from pre existing condition). Get £250 monthly from his pension to add to the £300 monthly from mine. Also get PIP, but have mobility car instead of payments. Had been doing well with savings, prior to car accident that left me disabled. Now can’t get any financial help as savings (I did without holidays, decent cars etc. to try to save as much as possible for retirement) too high, so slowly making my way through them. Constantly in pain and suffering from PTSD. Definitely haven’t “made it.”

I'm 38 In a blended family and a newborn, we are in a shared ownership flat which doesn't house a family of 5. Myself and hubby work full time. Trying to move and sadly asking the bank of mum and dad to help. We live with in our means. Don't go on holidays or weekends away. I have a pension since I was 16 but I'm doubtful there will be a payout the way the government is going.

Sorry to hear that @miserablebitch. Hope things improve .

@washerdrier yes I see what you mean but equally I’m satisfied with what I have. My house is big enough for us and I love it, it’s more a case of we’ll move if we have the money and if the right house comes along. And for my next child, I don’t have to strive for that IMO, we could comfortably afford another.

I think we're there, or maybe almost. I'm 32. Bought the house alone aged 24. Got very lucky, the house was rundown, 2 bed semi. Got it got £83k on a 5% deposit so just over £4K deposit. There's no way this kind of house would sell for this cheap now, so I know this journey started off with a lucky buy.

Struggled for the first few years, paying mortgage alone, counting pennies, eating cheap. Met DP, dated for a few years then he moved in 3 years ago. Put his house up for rent.

Then last year, the house was valued with £70k of equity in it, so we were able to release £45k and do a double storey extension, creating 4 bedrooms in total and now we have no need to move again.

There's still work to do. We probably need to release another chunk of equity next year to finalise some internal works and do the driveway.

So we find ourselves in a position where we have a 4 bed house, another house we rent out, and two fine enough salaries that enable us to pay the bills, the nursery fees and live a nice life with a bit of spending money each week.