@JojobaFromOctober
Wow, that blogger really has a talent for bland prose. Nothing anyone could possibly object to in his rewritten sentences but also just the most mediocre way possible to convey the information (much less information than JKR).
There are some suggestions in the comments about better ways to convey the heroine's age than stating them in the first sentence:
So apparently it would have been better if JKR wrote:
“Robin walked past the rows of shop windows lining Picadilly Circus, briefly catching her youthful reflection limned in the soft glow of streetlights. She flicked her blonde tresses, shifting a handful of soft bouncy curls back into place.”
or
“Matthew looked at Robin, a grin creased his handsome face. “What’s so funny?” she asked. “You,” he said. “You don’t look a day over fifty.” Robin smiled back, “Ha ha, then I must be remarkably well-preserved since I still look like I’m in my twenties.” Matthew reached over and gently moved a blonde curl away from Robin’s blushing face. “I love you,” he whispered. “Whether twenty-five or fifty.” She smacked his hand away. “And I love you Mr. Thompson.”
Now, I hate both passages, for reasons I won't ennumate - enough derailing. But I am amazed at the gall of people who pop up and claim that "the rules" say this is better writing than just telling us how old a character is in a sentence with a few clearly connected clauses.
Must do some work and not start reading any more of that blog ...