I just said 'bye bye. love you lots'

[AmyDudley]

on the phone to the garage mechanic who has just done my MOT when he phoned to tell me when to get the car.

Why? Why did I do that ? he will think I am mad won't he? He already thinks I'm odd because my mileage is so low because I just pop to the shops and back in the car.

My DD was in the hallway and overheard me and was wetting herself.

Every day I find new ways to embarrass myself.

@ooft

Haha brilliant thread.

It reminds me of the time that I phoned my hairdresser and asked for a cut and blow
Job

I asked the dog groomer to give our dog a blow job too. I also recently started a message with 'I hope your Covid test was positive.'

My mother has a phone number that is one digit different from the local pub. I once called the pub by accident and clearly heard the barman answer with 'Hello - Pub Name'. So instead of saying 'Jeez, sorry, wrong number', I asked if I could talk to 'Made Up Name' if he was there, and it turned out there was a lad of that name having a pint, and I hung up on him. I still don't know what the heck came over me.

I was so relieved that the AA mechanic could fix my car - heavily pregnant, with a toddler and having broken down 9.5 hours into a 10 hour drive on holiday that I involuntarily wrapped my arms around him and kissed him heartily on the cheek. I don't know which of us was more mortified...

@SpikeyFloof

Ex DP spoke English as his second language. He used to work as a delivery driver for a pizza restaurant and one night got into a heated argument with a drunk man outside the restaurant. The man started getting physical so what ex DP MEANT to say was "I'm going in to change out of my work uniform and when I come back I'm going to fuck you up", but what he actually said was "I'm going in to take off my clothes and when I come back I'm going to fuck you". He then stomped off inside to change and came back out to find the aggressive man had mysteriously vanished.

One of my favourite things I've read on MN 😂😂😂

The house is asleep and I am sitting on the stairs chortling out loud at this thread. I can’t remember the last time
I did that - thank you fabulous posters!

To add my own: I had some awful news in the Easter holidays and had to call my boss to say I did not know if/ when I’d be able to be back after Easter.

I left a verge-of-tears message on his phone, and 5 min later he called back, was his usual kind self and told me not to worry about something like work. I started crying then, and thanked him for being understanding. We said goodbye, and he said ‘bye, I love you’.

Obviously, when I went back to work at the end of the holidays, we made cursory eye contact and never mentioned it …

I had someone say "love you" after a telephone interview.

I thought it was hilarious and she was obviously so embarrassed. It didn't affect my opinion of her professionally. These kinds of things happen to the best of us.

@Awayfromhome448

Sorry but I am laughing so hard at ‘all the fun of the fair’.

God I'm dreadful for this. So thanks for making me feel more normal
The other day I shouted "thank you" at a passerby instead of "good morning" as I was mid conversation with someone

My most embarrassing was as a shop manager. Dealing with a customer who put out his hand, so I shook it. He was reaching for a pen on the desk in front of him

Just yesterday, my DH said "Bye, love you !" to his office manager at the end of a phone call . She laughed and said "love you too". I know because I was siting right beside him.

Crossing a quiet road with my friend recently, she stuck out her arm across me as though I was 4 & about to walk into traffic. We're nearly 60.

I was in ASDA with my mother and we were perusing the card section for Aunty Mavis' birthday. I picked up one and turned to my mum, I thrust the card under her nose and said "What do you think of THIS one?" to which a perfectly nice stranger responded "Oh er yes that's quite nice?" ... My mother had walked away without saying anything 😂

Answered the phone in work this evening and said 'morning, no, afternoon, no, evening,' and the customer on the other end started laughing. And have definitely done the love you lots thing before too!

OwlIsBeingAnOwl

Can we get the MNer on this thread who sucked on her dentist's finger? That's one of my all-time faves!
Yes! Omg that was one of the funniest things I've ever read on here. Also another one on the same thread where a woman had some animals on sticks or something and was waving them over the door of some toilets and telling her kids to hurry up and they weren't in that toilet 🤣

I once kissed the Asda delivery man goodbye!

I once had a new client text me that they would have to cancel an appointment as their father had died.
I had a new phone and tested back "I'm so sorry to hear about you father. Thinking of you" but managed to send it as a special text that had floating balloons and blared out
🎶 Congratulations and celebrations. 🎶. As soon as I pressed send I realised what I had done. Sent an apology text but never heard from them again.

These are my favourite kind of threads!
I am properly doing a Mutley laugh at these posts

I have a son with a name that I sometimes modify to a cutesy kiddy name. I have a colleague with the same name. You can guess what happens. Over and over again!!

I have done the same to my neighbour who is in his 70s. I've also sent kisses in a text to my son's tennis coach. My husband had a good laugh at my expense. He does cricket and football coaching and says it happens all the time from some of the mums

A man working in a shop shouted 'bye, love you!' after me yesterday on my way out after a discussion about his services (presumably accidentally). I thought it was very sweet and funny!

I once gave a thumbs up by mistake instead of the finger to a crappy driver. Probably a much nicer thing to do!

I often just keep hold of the cup for a minute as I pass it to someone, just long enough to ask "What do you say?"

I am crying laughing at some of these, especially the ‘I’m going to fuck you’, I couldn’t speak for ten minutes reading that one 😂

That was one of my favourites too.

They're all hilarious!

These are hilarious.

I just remembered a fairly recent one.

There was an riding accident near our house and after a neighbour told me the horse had galloped off I went to speak to one of the police officers to see if I could help. I could see him thinking I wAs being nosey so I quickly said” I’m a horsey girl, do you want me to try and catch the horse?” He looked at me and took a minute to answer. I’m 64 with blond /silver hair. No idea why I said ‘horsey girl’ except that I have said it to the nine year old up the road.

However, I did indeed catch the horse and after getting DH to contact the stables and hand her over I went back to the police and told them. They were surprised as someone had tried to catch it earlier and failed. I had nipped home for a bucket and chicken feed.

I once heard my father having a very serious phone conversation with an Admiral and signed off with "bye bye darling" ...there was sniggering