I just said 'bye bye. love you lots'

[AmyDudley]

on the phone to the garage mechanic who has just done my MOT when he phoned to tell me when to get the car.

Why? Why did I do that ? he will think I am mad won't he? He already thinks I'm odd because my mileage is so low because I just pop to the shops and back in the car.

My DD was in the hallway and overheard me and was wetting herself.

Every day I find new ways to embarrass myself.

People providing a service are so used to hostility and nastiness just now that you probably made his day!

I always try to thank them and say somethig nice.

I still shout and point the names of random animals. Sometimes I do it when I'm out alone walking the dogs.
My kids are up a bit and don't need to hear that "horsies" are close by. But it was never for them really, they just were handy at masking my own excitement everytime I see an animal.

Another one I did, god I embarrass myself.

The man at the Post Office counter said Hi, how's it going ? I thought he must think he knew me so i said I'm fine thanks, how are you.

He smirked and said, No that parcel, is it going first or second class.

I once had quite a late work call and the kids were buzzing about before bed and I signed off to my boss saying “Night night sleep tight”.

@LazyDoll

I very occasionally answer the phone on automatic pilot…’Police Emergency how can I help’. I left that job 8 years ago. Must terrify the customers in my current (not in any way related) private company role 🙈

Good job you weren't a telephone sex worker

I did that to my boss on the phone once "yeah of course. Thanks, I love you...". The entire office went deathly silent then I realised my mistake and crawled under my desk until the laughing died down. I was only 24 and very shy which didn't help. When I finally got back up we had a brilliant afternoon of recounting our most embarrassing moments at work.

I've done similar on a call with a colleague. I said 'Bye' then immediately 'Love you!'

I think he heard but had the grace not to say anything

I dropped my friend at the station and she leant over, kissed me on the cheek and said 'love you'. That's what she does when her DH drops her off.

I worked in a hospice on reception so had to say 'Good Morning XX Hospice' every call. Changed jobs and very occasionally would say that accidentally when answering the phone but it was a shop.

Did the same myself at work. ‘Love you, bye’ to a senior officer.

On the flip side - I did once tell one of the managing partners to fuck off. I’m my defence... my office was in the basement with no ‘through traffic’ (so the door at the back only went through to another office).

The IT guy in that office next to mine has twice in the same day tried to make me jump when I was crawling ok the floor under my desk to fix a plug.

I didn’t realise the the managing partner had for some reason gone into the IT room and then on his way back, spotted my fat arse peeking out from under the desk and made a stupid noise (probably to try to get me to bank my head - he was most unpleasant). I hollered ‘why don’t you just fuck off’ and crawled out to see my two colleagues looking at me like .

He actually looked amused. But once we were discussing how to get some PR coverage of another Partner running the marathon. His only suggestion was ‘maybe if he has a heart attack...’

I dropped my friend at the station and she leant over, kissed me on the cheek and said 'love you'. That's what she does when her DH drops her off.

Have done this a few times, almost did this to a taxi driver!

I went to kiss on the cheeks an estate agent showing me round a flat I wanted to rent

I had just come back from living in a country where you did this all the time to friends and family so when he put his hand out to shake this came naturally to me

Must have thought she is a bit forward. I realised after first peck didn’t know what to say so acted as if it was normal (kept to the one peck on the cheek)

Dh once sent a text to a colleague who’d fucked up and put kisses on the end.

Brilliant thread - many laugh out loud moments. Thank you!!

This is not quite the same - but many many years ago I went with some friends and DH ( who was not DH at the time ) to the Open Air Chalk Museum in Sussex - all good. Went to the gift shop & saw DH ( 1980s light denim shirt / chinos ) browsing goods .I goosed him. looked round and he ( real future DH ) was browsing the gift cards . I have never run so fast to the car in the car park . Got down in footwell & just said - drive drive . Now that was really embarrassing. I goosed the wrong chap. ( but same hair cut same clothes. )

Some time later friend's parents - I met them in an antique shop and said Oh you may remember me from when you gave us lovely cups of tea after the Chalk museum - a split second later the father said - Oh you are the one who goosed a chap in the Museum - Well I had to admit it.

Standing at a busy zebra crossing I yelled out 'green man', and then remembered the grandchildren weren't with me that day.

These are hilarious 😂
OP I'm wondering if the other mechanics will be looking out for you when you collect your car - either go just before closing or very early

Patted the teachers bottom when I went to leave after we'd been discussing my ds.
I was MORTIFIED and to make it worse I did some creepy wink as I looked back after scuttling away. She was still watching me.

I gave my dentist a big hug because she had her arm outstretched - then realised she was showing me to the chair! Had to sit through the whole appointment mortified.

DH ( when I was working ) once went to a junior school parents' evening alone with Ds. he sat down with DS & she knew who Ds was but , trying to be be helpful so she did not have to remember his name DH said "You can call me Daddy" - 20 years later he has not got over it

OP, bet he's brushed his hair and doused himself in aftershave when you turn up 😉

I did this quite a few times while working in a call centre. Scundered every time.

I also worked in primark in Belfast (the one that burned down) and it was mental in the lead up to Christmas, I'd been stuck on tills for a 12 hour shift. I was the last till in the row so was constantly shouting at the top of my voice "next please" to the top of the queue. But my head was melted, it had just be constant and non stop, and my brain failed me and I shouted up, "just enter your wee pin there please" instead.

I've just got over the most vile cold. On a video call with the CEO's Executive Assistant and our Head of HR last week, I muted my mic and snorted a disgusting amount of mucus up my nose, growling "Jesus Christ" in my best Christian-Bale-as-Batman voice.

... Only for the Head of HR to ask, "Are you ok Daily?"

Reader, I'd forgotten to mute myself.

I called to order a take away, I asked for crispy dick. I don’t even know, but I was mortified.

@Ohhhthepain

I called to order a take away, I asked for crispy dick. I don’t even know, but I was mortified.

🤣🤣