A work colleague is getting married next winter and has invited me to her hen weekend in a big city a couple of miles from here.
I expressed an interest as it was nice to be invited, I like her and it's a city I've not visited before.
I didn't expect it to be too expensive as I (clearly naively) assumed traditional hen weekends might have died out post covid, plus she's early 60 and it's her second marriage.
She's been asking for deposits here and there, hotel money etc.
But she's now sent a spreadsheet round and expects: us all to take a day's annual leave. I have small children and annual leave is really precious to us as DH and I share it so we can both manage childcare in holidays but I think we can just about manage this part.
It's going to be 3 x evening meals, ok I understand that we're going to be eating out. But she's now booked a cocktail making class, an expensive nightclub and an afternoon tea.
She's now messaged to say that she wants us all to purchase (at our expense, not hers) matching t shirts.
I don't want to go.
I'm not asking in AIBU because I know I don't want to go and I'm not going to waste time and money doing stuff I hate.
But I really don't want to hurt her feelings. I realise I've been naive to assume that this might be a nice little mini break as it's clearly something I would never have signed up to in the first place if I've realised. But I think it would be hurtful to sat that. Any suggestions (p.s she's already had £150 off me in deposits).