All my friends of a certain age want to run away from home

[MareofBeasttown]

I thought it was just me, but after speaking to a bunch of friends around my age ( late 40s to early 50s) I have realised that all of us want to run away from home and fuck off to a desert island somewhere. We all have wildly different home lives, jobs and circumstances, but this is the common factor. Of course the pandemic has made things worse, but I don't think it's only the pandemic. Myself, I want to run away just to avoid being asked "Where is the sriracha?" when the sriracha is right on the counter.

I don't know about 'of a certain age' but I spent most of my life wanting to run somewhere else :-). I've given that up now.

@allthegoodusernameshavegone, Gin or Ramsey, lol?

I did run away. He tracked me down to ask how to pay the gas bill. No kidding.

I feel exactly the same. Have done for a while, but lockdown exacerbated it and I did actually leave for a week in April this year. I just booked a hotel and had a week to myself and let DH and DC sort themselves out for a change.

It wasn't long enough. I'm also fed up of all the mental load and often day dream about walking out the door, never to return.

I did it. DS was three. I packed everything I valued in my car and left. Moved into a 1 bed 'island' , holed up for 6 months and didn't have to worry about....
...the ex
...the spiteful adult step daughter
...the garden
...(his) house maintenance

It was bliss. Like hitting reboot on my life and shedding everyone else's self-indulgent nonsense. It's definitely worth considering

@Wincarnis

I am glad a lot of us feel the same way. I am actually away from DH and DS right now visiting family and they are doing just fine. Cooking and cleaning by themselves-it's been 3 weeks- and only messaged me once to ask where something was ( a bill). It's just made me realise how much I needed that break after the pandemic, and I am planning more breaks.

I am sorry for those of you who don't get breaks. @ScrambledSmegs you really should just walk out the door and leave them to it.

I need to look into HRT soon, for sure.

My idea of heaven! By the sea, my, myself on a warm beach with my books!

Well done on you. Takes so much courage to do that. I know because I did it too. Life is so much better now. And too short too put up with crap.

For those of you looking to run away with your girl friends
mymodernmet.com/dream-retirement-home-friends/
Bit too much tea but I love this house

Yep.
I have friends who feel like this too - ranging from mid 30s to mid 50s.
It's a combination of the whole pandemic thing, the expectations of running the house AND the kids AND homeschooling AND having a job to do - while the mister (if there is one) only seems to need to do the job part. And is always THERE.
That's my take on it, from my experience and that of my friends.

I read that thread title and thought 'I bet I know what age that is'. And I was right. I feel like this sometimes. My family are great BUT here are the things which if I have to hear one more fucking time make me want to run away:

What shall we do for dinner?
Mum have you seen my....
Has anyone fed the cats (I'm always the one asking)
I'm worried about...
Did you book that appointment with

I'm perimenopausal, no-one told me what absolute bloody bastard misery it was. I can't sleep, I'm constantly exhausted, I'm bloody boiling all the time, the random sweating is vile and embarrassing and my moods are up and down like a rollercoaster. It's like being ill, ALL OF THE TIME

Not so much a desert island but I have a whole imaginary apartment that I move to whenever it gets a bit much. Big windows, lots of light. High ceilings. Bicycle in the hallway.

I sometimes can't decide whether it would be that, or a remote highland croft. I like the city apartment idea because in my imaginary other life I go to the theatre and art galleries a lot, and book readings, and eat dinner by myself in nice restaurants. In my imaginary highland croft life there's not much to do so I'll probably keep a couple of sheep and chickens and such. Learn how to spin.

@Wbeezer -- great Ann Tyler book - love her writing. Have you read a Spool of Blue Thread? Really good also

Sorry OP - getting sidetracked there

@HarlanPepper - with you on the city apartment idea. I've always thought it would be nice to retire in a lovely little property near Hampstead Heath - near all the 'amenities'

Realistically it's more likely to be a high rise in a skaggy area of Wolverhampton.

@ThumbWitchesAbroad - I can't even say it's that. DC are older are teens (and one at Uni) so no homeschooling for me. Dh helps quite a bit with running the house now he works from home most of the time and we have a cleaner. It's just the general grind of life coupled with the bastard menopause and the shifting roles with kids starting to leave, parents getting older etc.

I think this is the point of life when men start having affairs or buying embarrassing sports cars isn't it? Women just want to cry and runaway. Hugely stereotyping I know but there is a grain of truth in it. It shouldn't be like this.

@SlidDownTheElephantsTrunk

48 here and never been happier. Kids are both 18+ Very happy with my DP of 3 years. Work full time in a job I love. Live alone.

Yeh that would be the new bloke and living alone. Job you love a real plus….

I had four days in a foreign city last week (kind of work related but probably didn't have to be there for four days) - it was bliss, I even liked being at the airport as it meant I could buy a coffee, sit quietly and read my book with no one wanting my attention. I had to pretend to have missed everyone when I got back .

This thread is so soo well timed. Its exactly how I feel. I dream daily of just having a full 24 hours of not sorting out anyone else from the moment I wake up til I go to bed. Someone once told me 'men leave their wives for more sex, women leave their husbands for a rest'

I understand OP.

I am in a double caring role, run my own business, OH slipping into grumpy middle age.

I joke that I want to sell the house, leave them all as sitting tennants for the new owners and buy a place of my own.

That’s why you need the odd weekend / trip away women only - leave it all behind if only for a short time. No issue of what’s for tea / are the teens ok / who is taking x to netball. Think it’s unhealthy not to ever do this.

That’s why you need the odd weekend / trip away women only - leave it all behind if only for a short time. No issue of what’s for tea / are the teens ok / who is taking x to netball. Think it’s unhealthy not to ever do this.

Also almost impossible for some of us in caring roles. It may be unhealthy, but it is a fact of life.

Why don't you take a solo trip away?

@MsTSwift

That’s why you need the odd weekend / trip away women only - leave it all behind if only for a short time. No issue of what’s for tea / are the teens ok / who is taking x to netball. Think it’s unhealthy not to ever do this.

Was this addressed to me? I am on a solo trip away:) It is a bit harder for some of my friends who have much younger kids. Also, I will be an empty nester next year ( though given the economy one or more of the DC may boomerang back). So the end is in sight!