What stupid thing did you believe?

[Soubriquet]

For a long time, I honestly believed money laundering was literally washing money in a washing machine and I wondered why it was so bad

My mum had my baby brother when I was 7. I knew where babies came from by then because I’d heard her talking about “the pill”. I also knew that she’d been to the doctor. So I put two and two together, and knew that you went to the doctor, got a tablet, and then you had a baby. Bingo!

I was about ten when someone at school told me how babies were really made! Came home, told my mum and said "That's not true, is it??" Looked at her face and realised it was! I then said "But that sounds horrible! " Her reply "Yes, but if you love someone, you don't mind."

I thought if you picked dandelions you would wee the bed
I thought carrots helped you see in the dark

I think the dandelions make you wet the bed thing comes from dandelion tea being used as a diuretic if you need to "flush your system".

Also carrots contain Vitamin A which can help to prevent "night blindness" and help you see better in dim light.

So they both are sort of true.

As a child I thought that University was up in outer space as the word "University" was because you were up there looking out at the entire universe! I thought people got sent up there in rockets and it sounded quite scary haha.

Heavy Plant Crossing had me too - I imagined some kind of giant triffid trying to get over the road

@Mummy2Babba

I only found out a couple of years ago that carpets don't actually grow. I thought that when beds and furniture left marks on carpets that the carpet had grown around it and I honestly only found out this actually isn't the case a couple of years ago. I'm 25 btw 🙃

I absolutely love this one thanks for the laugh, @Mummy2Babba

@BlackLambAndGreyFalcon

I also did not understand what on earth Kwait and Iraq and Saddam Hussein had to do with the game of golf!

I really don't get this one

God I got it the minute that posted 😆😆

I thought those wooden crosses on a building site next to a road were where workers had died during construction

Bill Stickers will be prosecuted. I wondered who Bill Stickers was and if he was like Butch Cassidy or The Sundance Kid.

@Myusernameisnotmyusernameno

God I got it the minute that posted 😆😆

I didn't get it either... until literallyrightjustnowthissecond

@Myusernameisnotmyusernameno
Golf=Gulf as in Gulf War

@Myusernameisnotmyusernameno
Just "got" your post about "getting " it🙄

I dont get the growing carpet one...How could something that isn't alive actually grow?

My dd and I used to get caught behind a load of cows crossing the road quite often. I think for some reason she didn’t understand WHY the farmer walked them from the field to the barn and then back again later
Anyway … I said OMG look at that white cow! Jeez that one needs milking (it’s udders we’re practically on the floor)
My grammar school clever kid said ‘isnt it clever how they change colour depending on how much milk they have in them’

Yep. Brown cows = empty
Brown and white = varying degrees of filling up
White cows = full

I believed that you gave birth via your bum hole
until I was about 11. Grew up on a farm myself and saw lambing, piglets being born, etc etc but they kinda lifted their tail and a baby plopped out …

We have sloe trees in the woods next to the house. My 72 yr old mum was gutted to discover that putting sloes into bottles of water does not magically produce sloe gin

My husband of 31 yrs recently discovered smear tests didn’t just mean the nurse wiping your labia with a tissue and looking at it under a microscope 🔬

I can’t think of any of mine right now but sometimes I am super literal and completely miss how something works and come out with something gormless

@Sweetpea1532

I dont get the growing carpet one...How could something that isn't alive actually grow?

Things can grow in or from a carpet.

@ilovebagpuss

When I was little I spent a long time picking out the little brown bits in recycled toilet paper. My mum eventually got fed up and asked what all the little bits were in the bin. Yes I really thought it was “recycled toilet paper” with little bits of dried poo. Of course it became family history to be re-told ALL THE TIME

Oh that's adorable 😊

Thank you, @Plumtree391
Your reply reminded me of that exact occurance I had in a newly rented flat...the washing machine overflowed and flooded the carpet in the lounge...about two days later there were little seedlings 🌱 popping up all over the carpet in one area that had gotten wet...after taking a closer look, I worked out that the previous tenants must have kept a parrot in the lounge ....the bird seed that the hoover had missed had started to sprout....just now wondering what else must have been stuck in that carpet🤢

In the little shop in our village they had a sign up which stated "Licensed to sell Newspapers and Periodicals". I though periodicals meant sanitary towels.(I was about 13 at the time and it was about 50 years ago)

That the CarribBEan (British pronunciation) and the CarRIBean (American pronunciation) where two different places 🤦

Extremely embarrassed to say I thought Sydney was the capital of Australia until my mid twenties.

I thought citizens of Switzerland all spoke Swiss.

Magpies. If I see a single one, I always say "Hello Mr Magpie" Out loud, even if out alone. Might look a bit weird I suppose, but I don't care

@ConcernedAuntie

In the little shop in our village they had a sign up which stated "Licensed to sell Newspapers and Periodicals". I though periodicals meant sanitary towels.(I was about 13 at the time and it was about 50 years ago)

Excellent. I'm going to call them Periodicals from now on!

@PetuniaButterworth

That the CarribBEan (British pronunciation) and the CarRIBean (American pronunciation) where two different places 🤦

For a long time, I was convinced there were two places in America that had the same name just pronounced differently

Arkansas (Ar-kan-sas)
Arkansas (Ar-kan-saw)