You know you're a mum when...

[popcornfrenzy]

A bit light hearted - I've just opened the washing machine to find a lego man staring at me...no idea which kids pocket it came from

Your bag is full of shit.

You find stones in your hand bag, your coat pockets, your washing machine... just basically anywhere.

You can produce plasters, napkins or wet wipes when out with friends.

When a random toddler in the supermarket calls “mummy” and you instantly turnaround. Even when dc are now teenagers …

You're driving alone and see police horses and start squealing "oh, look horses"

You have no hobbies
You come home from a shopping trip feeling like you did really well to find you have bags full of crap for the children and nothing for yourself
People (especially men) ask you how the children are rather than how you are

You are never able to have a wee without someone shouting Mum!

You can produce plasters, napkins or wet wipes when out with friends.

A skill that never leaves you. I can still do it now and DS is nearly an adult, my mum can still do it and I'm... ooh look! Dumper truck!

You spend so much time making sure your kids look neat and clean before leaving the house that you end up having to run out in a crumpled jumper and stained jeans.

You no longer have a name, you're just "Max's mum"

Nb. Names have been changed

Anyone bumps into things or falls over and you say in a sing song voice 'oh dear' or 'whoopsie'

All hell breaks loose when the thermometer hits 38c

you're always the one with tissues/wipes handy when someone's spilled coffee in work meeting.

@Aroundtheworldin80moves we're long past the stones stage, thank goodness, but I'm still the person my singleton neighbours come to if they need a plaster!

You see any emergency services vehicle and say "ooh a nee nor!" 🤷🏻‍♀️

When you are driving alone and think or sometimes say “Oh look! A bus, a big red bus” (My 2 year old loves them.)

My DM still habitually calls out "Oooh look a car transporter " when she sees one, I am 42 and my Dsis is 48

You have an instinct to ask everyone in the room if they need a wee before you leave the house. DP did it to a roomful of trainees before they restarted after a break and then redfaced apologise. Fortunately all the other parents in the room were very understanding.

You don’t care how messy the activity is/was if it got you a hot cup of tea

Trying desperately to stay on an important call and spread peanut butter on toast while a little devil child drags your pants down inch by inch with every moany call for his food..until your pants hit the foor so does the toast. He cries..you cry. Just decide to accept the moment of my child trying to pick the toast off the floor with my pants round my ankles, whilst still trying to talk on the phone. Thats motherhood

You have random snacks in your bag including a half-eaten brownie wrapped in a serviette that dc refused to leave in cafe once they'd had enough.
You open your mouth and your mum's stock phrases come out

You find yourself looking for dropped kerbs to cross the road, even when you haven't got a pram/ pushchair with you.

The stones...THE STONES!! I swear they breed

When your child is sick all over you and it doesn't gross you out at all.

You find yourself looking for dropped kerbs to cross the road, even when you haven't got a pram/ pushchair with you.

This has made me realise that I still do this! Haven't pushed a pram for years now just habit.

You walk around humming whichever children’s song you’ve been forced to listen to this time.