Page 4 | My DC won't let me post a front door photo of them going back to school!

Bizjustgotreal · 09/09/2021 07:45

I don't let people post pictures of my kid on social media. My generation lived our lives on it without knowing the true consequences. I now value as much anonymity online as I can get.

WeatherwaxOn · 09/09/2021 07:45

Of course you ask them. It's their image, not yours.
I posted a 'back to school' just once with DCs agreement. Haven't posted any more since. Looking back, I have no idea why I felt the need to put it in social media.

By all means take the photos for your own pleasure and for memories to look back on - just keep them for yourself/DC to look at.

ChrissyPlummer · 09/09/2021 07:49

Why are they always by a door? 😁

My friend did one worse: a fucking TikTok video of her and her DH dicking about dancing in the driveway ‘celebrating’ their kids return to school 🙄. Presumably videoed by one of the kids. I’ve unfollowed her on SM now as it’s just fucking annoying.

WhatsTheBFD · 09/09/2021 07:52

I never take or post photos of any of my DC on SM without their consent.

Hekatestorch · 09/09/2021 07:54

I don't have anyone on my list that does a front door photo.

They do the back to school photos. But no front door!

Anyway, op, this is one of teb times that legal and the right thing to do isn't aligned.

Legally people cab post a picture they have taken, but that doesn't mean they should.

I get that you aren't going to do it, but why were you bothered they didn't want one.

Would they let you take one and not post it? Or do they not trust that you won't post it?

Branleuse · 09/09/2021 07:58

Bribe her. She would probably do it for a fiver

MatildaIThink · 09/09/2021 08:00

Legally you do not need her permission, but you would be being a total arsehole to post one when she really does not want you to.

olidora63 · 09/09/2021 08:00

Am not sure what the legalities are ,but I always ask permission from my children if I want to very occasionally post a pic !

LimeRedBanana · 09/09/2021 08:01

I take photos of my kids in the exact same place every year, on their first day back at school - have a lovely album over the years.

And they’re happy to have their photos taken …

Because they know I’m not going to plaster it all over social media.

FatAnkles · 09/09/2021 08:05

I used to be on Fb (before it got silly) and posted many pics of DD as a baby. But I think it's normal that by the age of 10 they get a sense of self-image and want to control that image. DD asked me at about 10/11 not to post ANYTHING on SM without asking first, and I was fine with it. She's now 15.

Approved photos are now shared with family by email. She'll allow photos on WhatsApp if her face isn't showing or she's not facing the camera, and NEVER in her school uniform (it's very distinctive and easily identified). I think this is fair. DD has her own Insta account but she controls the content and it's private.

I am the generation when SM was new and exciting...but I didn't see the consequences. Unless you turn your preferences to private anyone can see your children growing up, see what hobbies they have, what school they go to, who their friends are and where they go on holiday! It's too much!

LegendaryReady · 09/09/2021 08:07

Is it just me who thinks it's weird that you care more about being able to lost a photo that literally no one cares about than how DD feels?

ColouringPencils · 09/09/2021 08:07

I think it's an interesting question. I see all sorts of very personal things about children on social media 'I am so proud of 12-year old X who has really struggled with her mental health during lockdown and found it hard to return to school'. It makes me wonder about the future law suits when the Facebook babies come of age! If they are so aware of their children's struggles, how can they not think to protect their privacy.

Or the people who document every moment of child's life online. It just seems very unfair to me.

ColouringPencils · 09/09/2021 08:09

@LegendaryReady the OP is not going to post the picture, she is interested in the legal/ ethical position, which I think is a very interesting one.

Kakser · 09/09/2021 08:13

@ColouringPencils

I think it's an interesting question. I see all sorts of very personal things about children on social media 'I am so proud of 12-year old X who has really struggled with her mental health during lockdown and found it hard to return to school'. It makes me wonder about the future law suits when the Facebook babies come of age! If they are so aware of their children's struggles, how can they not think to protect their privacy.

Or the people who document every moment of child's life online. It just seems very unfair to me.

Agree completely with this. Children are growing up with every aspect of their lives documented. I do wonder how they will all feel when they're older.

Kakser · 09/09/2021 08:14

@ChrissyPlummer

Why are they always by a door? 😁

My friend did one worse: a fucking TikTok video of her and her DH dicking about dancing in the driveway ‘celebrating’ their kids return to school 🙄. Presumably videoed by one of the kids. I’ve unfollowed her on SM now as it’s just fucking annoying.

This really made be smile this morning! My reaction would have been to unfollow too 😂

RobinPenguins · 09/09/2021 08:15

Just send it to interested family privately if you want to? This really doesn’t seem worth if any kind of disappointment.

trumpisagit · 09/09/2021 08:18

Too much of a rush to post photos. DS had to come back twice for his phone and pack lunch....

KaptainKaveman · 09/09/2021 08:22

I really don't understand why people feel the need to post pictures of everything they do on social media. It is a really weird kind of competitiveness. It's attention seeking and needy.

KaptainKaveman · 09/09/2021 08:23

Why can't you just let them be children, OP? why do you have to post pictures of them as if they are a social experiment?

CaptainMyCaptain · 09/09/2021 08:23

You must take her opinion into account. Take a photo and keep it for yourself.

LimeRedBanana · 09/09/2021 08:24

@ChrissyPlummer

Why are they always by a door? 😁

My friend did one worse: a fucking TikTok video of her and her DH dicking about dancing in the driveway ‘celebrating’ their kids return to school 🙄. Presumably videoed by one of the kids. I’ve unfollowed her on SM now as it’s just fucking annoying.

That is next level, contrived cringe 😬😬😬😬

Some people need to cop onto themselves.

RedToothBrush · 09/09/2021 08:27

@bigbeachedwales

All over my Facebook are photos of my friends' kids looking cute by a front door in uniform. My DD is refusing point blank to let me post one of her. I told her it's just because I'm proud but she's still saying no. We got talking about permission/consent. Does she have to give permission for me to post her photo? She's 10. Or would she have to consent to me posting it? I'm not going to, just in case I'm roasted on here, but I'm now just interested in the rules.

Its not about whether she has to give you consent.

You have a total lack of respect for her fully expressed wishes.

What you are teaching her is she doesn't have the right to say no and that others can over rule her perfectly fair wishes because yours are more important.

You are tampling all over her boundaries.

Take a long hard look at yourself. Your desire to post photos and make her look 'cute' do not trump her right to privacy. (and yes she does have an actual right to privacy as a minor).

I think your attitude and priorities are dreadful here.

RedToothBrush · 09/09/2021 08:28

@KaptainKaveman

I really don't understand why people feel the need to post pictures of everything they do on social media. It is a really weird kind of competitiveness. It's attention seeking and needy.

This.

Its a deeply insecure action going 'look at my life, me, me, me'.

Its awful.

ZenNudist · 09/09/2021 08:30

I don't stick my kids all over Facebook. It's not smart and it's not classy.

Sounds like your dd is both of these things. Good for her!

LimeRedBanana · 09/09/2021 08:32

Count down until the usual suspects arrive on this thread to say how important it is that people be allowed to express themselves on social media.

And that it’s no different from walking into a group of people in real life and announcing / declaring their arrival.

And to ‘sneer’ at people posting selfies on social media is really, really questionable. In fact, it’s especially unforgivable to question someone - if they’re a woman in their forties.

I can’t remember the username of the person who always bangs this drum, but I’m sure they’ll be along soon enough.