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Chasing up ambulance

196 replies

Mariell · 06/09/2021 06:04

My mother fell and my father couldn’t get her up. He called ambulance 9.30pm.

Called ambulance again at midnight. Ambulance came 5.30am!

This was a couple of days ago and My mother is in hospital.

I live over 300 miles away.

My dad has recently given the emergency cord alarm people my phone number.

He has fallen and cannot get up so cant get to his landline or mobile phone and is stuck on the floor. He pulled an emergency cord and was able to speak.

They have called an ambulance.

Given the time taken recently to get an ambulance to my mother do I call and chase it up?

My parents were doing great but in a very short space of time have their health has rapidly declined so all this is emergency stuff is new to us.

OP posts:
Mariell · 06/09/2021 09:47

Carer not cater

OP posts:
Mariell · 06/09/2021 09:50

What I have learnt is that it’s best not to get old! (Lighthearted).

I’m in my 60s and life was grand but I’ve damaged my back after I fell so I’m just as decrepit as they are.

Trying to keep some humour as I was very distressed earlier.

OP posts:
alrightfella · 06/09/2021 09:50

@Mariell please look into helping them claim attendanceallowance if they are struggling with personal care.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

PineappleWilson · 06/09/2021 09:52

You can't chase up ambulances. They won't tell you how long one is going to be, only send one to you when you reach the top of the list but an adult, albeit on the floor, who is breathing, is not a priority compared to a heart attack or a car crash so he has to wait I'm afraid.

Missmonkeypenny · 06/09/2021 09:53

DH is a specialist paramedic. People can wait 10+ hours for an ambulance in busy times - our local hospital had 30 ambulances queuing outside it two nights ago due to the hospital being overwhelmed aka 30 ambulances not on road. Every time a higher priority call comes, lower priority ones will get bumped down the list and frustratingly, a fall is quite low priority.

AmelieLovesAutumn · 06/09/2021 09:58

@SisforSarah

does your dad not know someone who can go round to help?

No-one

Slight derail (agree with PP who say don’t keep calling back).

But how do your parents not know anyone who can help? Professionally I see this all the time, but personally have no experience of it and simply don’t understand how people end up in this situation. My DM lives 120 Miles away. She was ill pre covid and her whole village looked after her- food deliveries, laundry done, dog walked. We have 80 yr old neighbours and regularly help them.
How do you get to a situation where you basically have no one who can help?

Very easily.

Don't be so nasty.

Starsong82 · 06/09/2021 09:58

As someone who used to work in adult social care definitely call the team for your parents area, they will have a duty social worker and also an out of hours team and may be able to get someone out for a welfare check, if nothing else they should be able to give you details of the local care alarm people so you can get them to check on your dad through the speaker x

Mariell · 06/09/2021 10:01

[quote alrightfella]@Mariell please look into helping them claim attendanceallowance if they are struggling with personal care. [/quote]
They would not do that as they have the finances to pay for anything they want. It’s just whether they ant to pay for any help as they don’t seem that keen on wanting help but it’s all happened so fast so this may change.

OP posts:
Mariell · 06/09/2021 10:04

@Starsong82

As someone who used to work in adult social care definitely call the team for your parents area, they will have a duty social worker and also an out of hours team and may be able to get someone out for a welfare check, if nothing else they should be able to give you details of the local care alarm people so you can get them to check on your dad through the speaker x
I would only do that with my dads permission. They are resistant to receiving help and it a miracle they sold their house and bought the retirement flat with the alert cords which at the time they insisted they wouldn’t use!

I don’t think my mother would ever have pulled the cord and would have preferred to die on the floor.

My dad has pulled the cord so that’s a huge step forward.

OP posts:
GameSetMatch · 06/09/2021 10:09

Honestly it’s awful seeing a loved one on the floor but it’s more important they see to life threatening injuries first a heart attack is much more serious than an elderly person on the floor. They can’t get to you any quicker if you phone and chase up. We need more ambulances and paramedics.

It’s important to leave your father on the floor until the ambulance arrives as you might break one of his bones and cause him more damage if you move him yourself. Have you parents thought about a retirement appartment with an on call warden?

overthethamesfromyou · 06/09/2021 10:09

Isn't there a warden on site who responds to the cord being pulled?

Mariell · 06/09/2021 10:12

@GameSetMatch

Honestly it’s awful seeing a loved one on the floor but it’s more important they see to life threatening injuries first a heart attack is much more serious than an elderly person on the floor. They can’t get to you any quicker if you phone and chase up. We need more ambulances and paramedics.

It’s important to leave your father on the floor until the ambulance arrives as you might break one of his bones and cause him more damage if you move him yourself. Have you parents thought about a retirement appartment with an on call warden?

They have bought a retirement flat that has the alarm cords.

There is no warden on the premises, the flats are self contained.

OP posts:
Mariell · 06/09/2021 10:12

@overthethamesfromyou

Isn't there a warden on site who responds to the cord being pulled?
It’s a company that then calls an ambulance or a relative.
OP posts:
GrandTheftWalrus · 06/09/2021 10:13

Hope your dad is okay Flowers

elephantstrong · 06/09/2021 10:16

Sounds awful. So right now no one has been able to speak to him? Does the alarm have the means for a quick chat with the alarm company? Or is it just known he pressed it?

As you said yourself, how does anyone know what triggered the fall wasn't an absolute emergency like a heart attack?

Itsmemaggie · 06/09/2021 10:18

Call the local police, my brother did this recently when my uncle fell and there was no one to help whilst he waited for an ambulance. They were incredibly helpful.

AmelieLovesAutumn · 06/09/2021 10:28

@PineappleWilson

You can't chase up ambulances. They won't tell you how long one is going to be, only send one to you when you reach the top of the list but an adult, albeit on the floor, who is breathing, is not a priority compared to a heart attack or a car crash so he has to wait I'm afraid.
@PineappleWilson

Did it occur to you to read the OP's updates? 4 hours after her original post do you really think your post was helpful or kind?

@Mariell. Your distress is completely understandable. Sods law that you had started to talk about getting things in place.

I hope you hear from someone soon about how your Dad is doing.

I have recently been in a similar position to you with a fall, it landed me in hospital (eventually) & major surgery. The ambulance were a few hours and I was laying in a public space (due to my injury no one could help me up) but I did at least have a friend who came & waited with me. I never thought at my age I'd have a fall that meant I couldn't get up myself or at most with a hand.

There have been some lovely posts & kind posts, do your best to ignore the others!

Shellingbynight · 06/09/2021 10:30

OP if your dad has agreed to a carer coming in to help him dress that is good progress - at least there will be someone in twice a day to check on him. And if he's been laying on the floor for hours waiting for help he may well think it'd be a good idea to extend that help a bit.

A key safe is really important, as others have said, and I am sure your dad will realise that give current circumstances. If he can't get to the door, carers/paramedics need to be able to access the property.

CoffeeWithCheese · 06/09/2021 10:46

My mum's just started having a run of falls - very nasty ones, thankfully (she'll kill me for saying that - wounded pride) always in public so people were around to help her out.

I put my foot down and demanded she did a few things - got her vision checked out in case her glasses prescription was "off" - especially considering she wears very strong varifocals.

I tried my best to get her out of the habit of wearing a mask to walk between shops (where she was tending to fall) as it really fucks with depth perception. Also started to insist she carried her mobile around with her when she was in the garden and things - their house is very isolated and a fall at the bottom of the garden would not be good.

Made her go to her GP and ask to be referred to the falls clinic - who were really really thorough with her, identified a number of issues with her blood pressure suddenly tanking through the floor and also some issues with her mobility and the fact the physio from when her knee was replaced hadn't done their job properly and it added to her instability on her feet. They all saw her fairly intensively for a couple of months and it seems to have really improved how she is on her feet.

You could ask your parents, if they're determined to try to keep going as they are, to make sure they have things like key safes set up, and also consider something like a smart watch so they have their phone basically on their wrist (Apple Watches in particular have falls detection on the most up to date one) - just things to support them in that current situation. I do get you though - I live 3 hours from my mum, and, although my brother lives 30 minutes away, he would be likely to complain that it should be ME dealing with any health scares or care issues there (he's an arsehole).

Mariell · 06/09/2021 10:54

Update. Relative got in but he was laying on bathroom door with his body up against the door so when they pushed to open the door he was blocking it and in pain from having the door pushed on him!

Relative called for an ambulance and they said it’s already in the system. Called the police who said they can’t come and help pick him up.

Called the fire brigade and they were there in seconds and they cut the door in half (mother will not be amused if she finds out! )

They had no restrictions in lifting and helping him up and got him on the sofa and he’s had a drink and a bite to eat.

Fire brigade are absolutely wonderful and I will be sending them a thank you message.

So my dad is now on the sofa but very wobbly. Does not appear to have broken anything but only a medical assessment will decide that for sure.

My cousins husband and my cousin are both with him and waiting for the ambulance as they believe he should be admitted as he is in no state to be on his own as he cannot support his body or walk.

Obviously there is a degree of shock at being on the floor for a long while.

The bathroom is the worse place to fall as everywhere has a smooth surface, walls, floors, bath, sink, toilet etc so it’s hard to grip anything to try and pull yourself up!

He was too shaky to speak on the phone but the huge relief of my cousin and her husband driving there to help is wonderful.

They are older than me but in better health and have said they will have their phone number out on the contact list as the priority number instead of me as they live in the same county as my dad and they will drive over in an emergency. That is fantastic of them.

Funny enough I accidentally put my keys in the boot of my car once whilst out dog walking and my dog promptly sat on the keys and depresses the lock button and effectively locked himself in the car!

I was besides myself and had a panic attack on the phone whilst talking to my car insurers to arrange an emergency call out which I was entitled to. They were bloody useless and were refusing so I hung up. (Got an apology the following day).

A passer by saw me in distress and she promptly called the fire brigade who were there in minutes and they carefully smashes a window and got my keys and reunited me with my dog who had no idea of what had gone on but was delighted to be fussed by the fire brigade!

They are my heroes!

So, thank you ever so much for all your replies, just getting replies is a support and a distraction from panicking so it’s much appreciated.

Essex fire brigade - Thank you!

OP posts:
LST · 06/09/2021 10:59

That's a wonderful update OP. Good on the fire brigade. I hope both you, your mum and dad all feel better soon x

treacletartpudding · 06/09/2021 11:10

Check out piper lines with their local council. In my area we have a piper line that when pressed sends people out with an inflatable cushion to help get people off the floor. There is a small charge per month but so reassuring to know that someone will be going out to them when you can't get there. Takes pressure off the ambulance service too. Really hope that both your mum and dad will be ok.

DPotter · 06/09/2021 11:10

Relieved to hear your DF has been rescued.

It is sooo difficult trying to support elderly parents from a distance - been there, done that and got the t-shirt as they say.

Your parents need to be assessed for social care support. GPs don't usually do this - they will agree it's a good idea and then leave you / family to get on with it. I recommend approaching Social Services; now some are much better than others, but things start to happen once you're in the system. An assessment by an OT is a really good starting point.

The GP can arrange a referral to the local Falls clinic - this too is a really good idea.

Whether or not your parents can afford to pay for themselves getting a Social Services OT or Falls clinic assessment gives you the baseline for their current situation and they can recommend suitable privately funded carers.

I totally understand your feelings of powerlessness in this situation - it's awful. And I hope your own condition is on the mend

Mariell · 06/09/2021 11:15

Thank you everyone. Much appreciated.

OP posts:
Nosferatussidebit · 06/09/2021 11:26

@tintodeverano2

But would the Gp be able to tell you if he has gone to hospital yet or not?
No. GPs and hospitals and the ambulance service are all on different computer systems. The hospital has to write (email) to the GP to inform of the investigation outcomes and treatment plans. A few years ago they tried to organise a joined up, nationwide NHS computer system but it was prohibitively expensive. Some counties are more joined up than others though.