Does anyone mid forties feel like this?

[checkedcloth]

I’m 45 at Christmas. Suddenly I am starting to feel my age. I’m not sleeping, my skin looks sagging, I have multiple aches and pains that just won’t go away.

I’ve steadily gained weight, now weighing 11 and 1/2 stone.

I worked full time, 2 hours commuting a day and feel utterly exhausted. There is no option on this changing as I am the main earner.

Wasn’t sure if it’s menopause related - I don’t have periods due to a coil. Wouldn’t even be able to find the time for a drs appointment anyhow.

Is this just the mid forties and it’s usual to feel like this?

Certainly true for me...

I’m the same age as you and feeling it. I feel like I’ve lost my sparkle. I’m permanently knackered and a bit run down. Can’t seem to keep the house tidy. Always working (albeit just normal full time hours).
Do you have teenage kids by any chance? I’m a single parent and it’s pretty exhausting. At least when they were small they were in bed by 7.30

It sounds like peri-menopause yes. But equally there could be something else. See your GP, they know what questions to ask.

I also feel like this! I'm 44 and have so many aches, feel stiff and always tired although I am over weight which I know makes it worse and is my own fault.
I'm a single mum who works in a really active job though so I'm not sure how much my age contributes or just my life style.
I know I'd feel a lot better if I could get a better grip on things and look after my self better.

Yes exactly this!
All of a sudden eye bags making me look awful. I feel like someone needs to sit me down and help me with my foundation and concealer too... nothing seems right for me now.
And I was at a long event yesterday and had to sit down a lot, now my muscles in my bum are aching like mad!
Plus everyone else looks so young. I'm also Peri.

I am so sorry to hear that others feel the same.

My DC’s are 11 & 9 - I feel like they are growing up without me, too many long hours at work

I haven't gained weight but could have written the rest of it. Had long chat with gp on Friday and started HRT. Wish I'd done it sooner to be honest. Too early to see results yet but just having a gp prepared to listen and help has made me feel that I'm not going crazy. It's as if a weight has been lifted. I'm 47.

I'm 46 and I'm constantly knackered. I honestly can't imagine working for another 20+ years.

I’m marginally younger and felt like this. Was anaemic and iron deficient. Once I was better I started eating better and forced myself to find time to exercise- took up running- lost 2 stone and have never felt better. See the GP. I work in a very full on job. I took up running and did it whenever I had a spare slot. During covid when I would have been commuting but sometimes lunch break or just before dinner and made up hours once kids in bed. I can’t recommend exercise enough for physical and mental wellbeing. I never exercised previously as was always told at school I was rubbish at sport and so never carried any exercise forward. Feel it was a lost opportunity. Am determined to keep it up when return to the office and am looking for a gym near work to ensure I do.

It very much sounds like peri menopause symptoms.

Start with a visit to the GP to discuss, including bloods for rule out anything else eg low thyroid function, iron deficiency, Vit D imbalance

You don't need bloods to check hormones.

You definitely need to do something. If it is hormone related, HRT will hopefully help. 💐

Ps you sound really exhausted, which is understandable with your commute. It could also be stress / burnout.

This resonates for me too. I'm 44 next week and don't recognise myself anymore. I've put on weight, I'm exhausted and can't seem to find my running mojo anymore. My eyesight is worsening and all in all I can't bear to look in the mirror any more!

You might benefit from some Oestrogen replacement. Current medical thought is that it is beneficial to start prior to menopause, so that you can reap the most protective benefits from this magical hormone. (It can help your heart, veins, brain, bones, eyesight & mental health, not to mention skin and hair!)

HRT, my dears, HRT.

I’ve been suffering like this for 5 years and felt so ground down. The patch has been a revelation. I wish I’d got it at 45, not 50

Yes me!!
Im nearly 45 and ready for the knackers yard.
Im sooo jealous of my friends who work part time, ive worked FT since 16 and just cant be arsed with it anymore, ive lost all tolerance for people and its starting to show, ive lost my poker face.
Im suffering with plantar fisitus which has thrown my hip out so im limping in constant pain.
Ive given up long haul travel for caravan holidays and enjoying not suffering with jet lag.
My perfect Saturday night in is a pizza and crap tv, no interest in dressing up and partying 🙈🙈😫

I am really stressed too. I’m a nurse, 27 years in the NHS (very senior sub board level post). There is zero room for anything in the week. I leave the house at 645 and home after 7pm.

I'm 41 and this last year and a half I've definitely noticed a shift in how I feel and look.
I don't have much energy and feel just 'meh'.
I'm a regular walker but also noticed I'm struggling to keep up with my family on days out and just feel like I'm generally trudging along in life too.
I've always looked young for my age but I've noticed my skin is looking quite thin under my eyes now and my make-up looks dated.
I don't seem to care enough to make a change though.
I'm not hugely overweight and am probably the lightest I've ever been as an adult yet my diet is terrible and I'm in the mindset that I'm getting old and so deserve that large slice of cake iyswim. Previously I'd never want cake.
I also enjoy a good pair of slippers

It probably is your age, combined with a very gruelling job.

But also, the last two years have been very relentless. Have you had any real holiday? Do you have things booked in to keep you looking forward? A weekend away somewhere you are excited about, a visit from friends you haven't seen since before the pandemic, a concert/show...I have found sitting down and booking stuff in had given me a lift.

I'm 47 and can relate. It's the saggy eye bags that I detest. I'm fully menopausal so on HRT but still look old

Sounds like the primary problem is your challenging job and working hours (plus commute). Rather than age.

Yes exactly the same here. I’ve started an overhaul of my diet, exercise & stress management which I hope with help.

48 here - I get a really painful shoulder for about a week (keeps me awake at night) but when my period starts it goes completely - what the hell is that about??

Get some vitamin D in you.

What can you do about your job? Is there scope to reduce hours or change it? Sometimes we need a big shake up and jobs are a great way of doing this. As I've got older, I've resisted the pressure to work full time, having done it with very small kids. I work .75 now and it's just right. I still get a decent salary, but also get some time. Yes, I could earn more, which would mean better holidays and luxuries, but I've come to really value my time above everything else.

Yes. I'm 49 with a very senior, stressful job and single mum to 18 month old twins. I don't have a second!
In the last year I've put on 2 stone (now 11 stone) and literally don't recognize myself. I used to highlight my hair, get pedicures, spray tan etc, now no time for any of that.
I can't go on HRT due to a previous DVT.
I used to be very active - running, cycling, ice skating, but now have tendonitis in my knee and even limp to walk.
I'm a shell of myself 18 months ago, and look about 10 years older.

But, I'm starting a diet overhaul tomorrow, and getting an MRI and physio on my knee. By my 50th, I aim to be back to my (relatively) glam self! :)

It's awful IME.
Teenagers don't help. Working lone parent here. House is a mess as I've prioritised my health, I guess it'll be tidy if I can get them to Uni.