Does anyone mid forties feel like this?

[checkedcloth]

I’m 45 at Christmas. Suddenly I am starting to feel my age. I’m not sleeping, my skin looks sagging, I have multiple aches and pains that just won’t go away.

I’ve steadily gained weight, now weighing 11 and 1/2 stone.

I worked full time, 2 hours commuting a day and feel utterly exhausted. There is no option on this changing as I am the main earner.

Wasn’t sure if it’s menopause related - I don’t have periods due to a coil. Wouldn’t even be able to find the time for a drs appointment anyhow.

Is this just the mid forties and it’s usual to feel like this?

I am not surprised that you are feeling exhausted with that commute and such long hours, I do considerably less than that and I feel fairly knackered. Is there anything that can change there at all? One day a week from home? Drop a day?

Otherwise, I think all the suggestions here are good, rule out anaemia, Vit B and Vt D deficiency (or just take supplements for the latter two, my doctor says we are all Vit D deficient and just to take them which I do in a spray). Some of my friends have got on with HRT, one got migraines, I don't use it but I've been on the Pill for years and that seems to solve half the problems.

As for feeling like you've lost your sparkle- I know that feeling! I redid my make-up look with some help from an online YouTuber who gives advice for older women, over 40's, over 50's and it was great advice, basically to work on your skin first then some good advice on how to apply it. I definitely feel much better and less dated now.

I hear you OP and could have written this.

When Covid arrived in March 2020, I sort of felt ok in terms of age/ageing. It wasn't much of an issue.

As restrictions have lifted, I feel like I'm emerging from a sort of hibernation as middle-aged and grumpy. I've put on weight, am achey, heavy periods etc. I live in leggings with hair in a ponytail tail. It's not only the grooming, I just feel "old" and am sure it's partly perimenopause. I'm waiting for some blood test results, so will be interesting to see if they reveal anything.

This is me
Permanently tired
Sleep gone to shit
Aching joints
Feel like I have permanent PMS
Headaches
Feeling so crap even working up the courage to speak to the GP makes me want to cry
DH is his usual mildly irritating mildly amusing self
I spend most days wanting to kill him
Have put on weight around my waist which I never normally do
I'm 47

I meant frumpy, not grumpy.
But I'm very grumpy too

@checkedcloth

I’m 45 at Christmas. Suddenly I am starting to feel my age. I’m not sleeping, my skin looks sagging, I have multiple aches and pains that just won’t go away.

I’ve steadily gained weight, now weighing 11 and 1/2 stone.

I worked full time, 2 hours commuting a day and feel utterly exhausted. There is no option on this changing as I am the main earner.

Wasn’t sure if it’s menopause related - I don’t have periods due to a coil. Wouldn’t even be able to find the time for a drs appointment anyhow.

Is this just the mid forties and it’s usual to feel like this?

I was going to say this sounds like classic perimenopausal or menopausal symptoms! Consider HRT or you could do a great deal with amazing changes to diet, supplements, and fitness (eg magnesium, calcium and vit D can make massive differences to how well you sleep, and studies show exercise plays a massive role in management of menopausal symptoms. I have a lot of menopausal clients and it's unbelievable for some of them how exercise and a clean diet can make huge differences.

Oh and the weight has gone on despite an unchanged exercise regime

Yep. I felt like the minute I turned 40 something changed. I feel very old, wrinkly and tired.

Definitely relate to this. I’ve aged much faster in my 40s, hoping that maybe you hit a plateau at least at some point!

In particular that idea of having no idea how to keep working for another twenty years.

It’s not quite normal so I’d definitely be speaking to your GP. If you have more time than money you could try a home blood test e.g Thriva.

I can relate.

According to Dr I am not peri menopausal but I feel rubbish.

Broke my ankle (minor) 6 months ago and it’s still painful, my knees are knackered from running and I’m putting on weight steadily.

Despite Botox, expensive hair and various tweakments I’m looking every week of my years.

Work is hectic, DC are even more hectic, the admin involved in keeping things ticking over is insane.

At the moment I’m throwing money at everything but it’s not making the impact it used to.

Don’t have an answer but plenty of solidarity.

@checkedcloth

I am really stressed too. I’m a nurse, 27 years in the NHS (very senior sub board level post). There is zero room for anything in the week. I leave the house at 645 and home after 7pm.

well that won't help. Do you have a long commute?

Almost 44 and have a 2 year old. I feel the best I ever have but I put that down to having cut mu alcohol consumption from excessive to almost teetotal. I’m slimmer than pre-pregnancy though now too.

My only issue is eczema, I’ve not suffered for years but it’s got awful on my face and I think it’s hormonal. I’m still BF though m, imagine it’s downhill for the hormones once I stop!

Gosh OP even a young whippersnapper would be exhausted on that job and those hours - you have my sympathies

*more money than time

I'm on the pill and periods getting lighter and lighter. I've put on weight and feel tired and old. Work ft with 2 young children. Going to get bloods to check thyroid next week but seriously thinking of a HRT chat too. Do you need bloods to check you're peri? Then can you choose?

Yep mid 40's, always tired. I have:

brain fog
night sweats
bunions
left shoulder aches constantly
poor eyesight
irritable
no motivation
hypothyroid & always cold

I’m 42 and after looking young all my life. Age has come and hit me with a bat in my face! I work for the NHS too ( not senior like you! Ward level) and without doubt this 18months has absolutely dragged me down and I feel I look it.

I have a mostly balanced diet with lots of fruit and veg where I can as well as a good amount of protein. I try and exercise even if it’s just a walk or yoga ( I love yoga even 10-15 mins goes far!).

I also use magnesium spray/or salt baths for my aches and pains which help. I know peri is looming as two periods have been late this year. I thought I’d have at least a couple more years yet… vitamin d is a must and maybe even vit b complex. They all really do help, a trip to the doctors for a check up on certain levels wouldn’t hurt.

Sounds like work and the commute is grinding you down though and that won’t help. Where do you fit in time for you? Even just a long bath or an hour reading etc?

HRT is an absolute lifesaver.

Aaaaah, I’ve found my people.

According to Dr I am not peri menopausal but I feel rubbish.

Get a new doctor.

@GoodVibesHere

Yep mid 40's, always tired. I have:

brain fog
night sweats
bunions
left shoulder aches constantly
poor eyesight
irritable
no motivation
hypothyroid & always cold

Apart from the thyroid I could have written this GP's have been worse than useless I asked for HRT six days ago after 18 months of pains. Burning in my head Strange twitches And all of the above I've also bought magnesium, vit d and B12. No idea if it will make a difference but I'm willing to try anything now

@megletthesecond
Just a suggestion about teens and housework/keeping tidy, I got an app called sweepy a couple of weeks ago. I paid for the full version which is not too expensive and worth it in my opinion. You can add other devices for free and divvy up the household tasks with little reminders each day, setting effort levels for different members of the team. It's great, motivated my DH and he had a very teeny mentality about that kind of thing Might be worth a try and that's one problem at least partly dealt with.

I'm 41 and my turkey neck is awful. It seemed to appear overnight. It looks like my neck has labia 😫
That, and the grey hairs and the eye wrinkles. I can't believe I've aged this badly.

Yep. I am 45 and I have piled on weight in the last year, need to lose 2st but would settle for 1.5. My knees creak, my right hip snaps if I raise my knee above my waist, I don't wake up refreshed, and I know I look knackered. I was spending 15 hrs p.w. commuting for a decade prior to catching COVID just before lockdown and when I was sick I promised myself that I would not go back to that.

On the positive side, I am still WFH ongoing and have options meaning I won't be forced back into the office again. Also, I do feel better when I exercise.

Definitely look into HRT if you suspect you're at that point. I'd also recommend Vitamin D if you don't already take it. This is the one I use.

It sounds like peri-menopause. Shocking tiredness. Deep bone and muscle aches. Weight gain. FWIW, I found all this disappeared once menopause arrived. Energy came back, weight dropped and teh only muscle aches are from workouts.

Might be worth taking some supplements. I've never tried HRT so can't advise on it, but I found B-complex vitamin pills, Vitamin D-spray and herbal iron tablets or liquid iron all helped.