Does anyone mid forties feel like this?

[checkedcloth]

I’m 45 at Christmas. Suddenly I am starting to feel my age. I’m not sleeping, my skin looks sagging, I have multiple aches and pains that just won’t go away.

I’ve steadily gained weight, now weighing 11 and 1/2 stone.

I worked full time, 2 hours commuting a day and feel utterly exhausted. There is no option on this changing as I am the main earner.

Wasn’t sure if it’s menopause related - I don’t have periods due to a coil. Wouldn’t even be able to find the time for a drs appointment anyhow.

Is this just the mid forties and it’s usual to feel like this?

@suckingonchillidogs

48 here - I get a really painful shoulder for about a week (keeps me awake at night) but when my period starts it goes completely - what the hell is that about??

Same here. Now the right hip and left knee are hurting me too. It gets worse in the lead up to my period then disappears when my period arrives. Pain free for a week/10 days, then it starts up again. I actually missed a period about 4 months ago and was in absolute agony. Then it finally arrived and the pain disappeared so I'm sure it's linked.

Anyway, I've started to take vit D and B complex again but DS16 is slamming around having a hissy fit about a gym t shirt. In the drama of it all I accidentally took a Dorwest Valerian and Skullcap tablet for DOGS instead. Sigh.

I feel exactly the same. No idea if it’s menopause as I also have a coil.

Everything aches-particularly my knees, I can’t sleep properly, I just feel lacklustre. My kids are lovely but growing up (mid-late teens now), DH is fine but things seem a bit distant for some reason, work is thankless and gruelling and starts again next week after a lovely summer and retirement is a long way off.

I feel like if I could get the sleeping under control, things would be better, but I’m not sure how. My diet is good, though probably drink too much caffeine and wine and not enough water, but I wake up at stupid o’clock every morning and lie there worrying about every stupid thing I have ever done/nearly done/might still do and feel constantly anxious!

@Howshouldibehave

I feel exactly the same. No idea if it’s menopause as I also have a coil.

Everything aches-particularly my knees, I can’t sleep properly, I just feel lacklustre. My kids are lovely but growing up (mid-late teens now), DH is fine but things seem a bit distant for some reason, work is thankless and gruelling and starts again next week after a lovely summer and retirement is a long way off.

I feel like if I could get the sleeping under control, things would be better, but I’m not sure how. My diet is good, though probably drink too much caffeine and wine and not enough water, but I wake up at stupid o’clock every morning and lie there worrying about every stupid thing I have ever done/nearly done/might still do and feel constantly anxious!

It's not menopause, it's peri-menopause, and it's a stage that can last for 10 years or even longer before full menopause. Your sleeping issues are in the top 5 of peri symptoms and HRT may really, really help you. My insomnia was gone in 1 day when I started HRT and it's been gone for 8 years.

Yes I am 45 and feel exactly like this. My mum brought over my old graduation photo the other day to give me and I looked at it and thought my god what has happened to me, my youth and looks have definitely gone and I feel very frumpy and dumpy. I can’t stand photo’s of me anymore as I just don’t look very photogenic. I am trying to get some kind of feel good by trying to eat healthier and exercise (I say with a beer in my hand ) , I am with you, terrible sleep, aches and pains , roesia skin the list could go on and on

Me too. I get out of bed, but have to take my time as I’m aching when I get up. Recently found out I’ve worn away my left knee, well, there’s no fluid between my bones and I have worn away a tendon.
I too don’t sleep much at night, though that’s been going on for a few years now. I’ve also put on weight. I don’t think I eat that much tbh. Dh even comments on it. He sometimes has my leftovers at dinner, and my portion is a pretty reasonable size.

I'm nearly 45 too and I feel similar. I'm not usually tired but i am achy and I'm putting weight on despite my best efforts.

@HemanOrSheRa - maybe the dog tablet will help with your aches. If not you might at least get a glossy coat!

I felt really good at this age. I had been divorced for while, and after all the hassle, I felt fit and ready to go again. I was quite slim, and bought a few new clothes, ready to go out and socialise again. I have good skin, but only use simple cosmetics etc, nothing pricey at all, and eat sensibly, and never eat junk food.

Oh yes this is me

Your health and well-being must be a priority over everything particularly as you have such a stressful job/life. Make time to speak to a gp. Don’t fall to the bottom of the to do list.

[quote suckingonchillidogs]@HemanOrSheRa - maybe the dog tablet will help with your aches. If not you might at least get a glossy coat![/quote]
God knows I can do with all the help I can get at the moment .

@1forAll74 not sure this is the thread for you

I got prescribed hrt patches on Friday ( I’ve yet to collect them) by a male GP, although the GP has said I need to stop the mini pill on them ( I do not intend to do that) so need to speak to pharmacist

This is after I spoke to a GP 4 months ago, female I might add who said leave it a year for no reason.?!
I am feeling like every poster on here, tired, run down, weight gain in middle, shite sleep, dry itching skin and loosing hair big time, hot flushed face occasionally .
Have had blood tests all ok even vit d which I was deficient in 2 years ago.
So I assume it’s peri ( can’t tell with the periods as am on mini pill)
Hoping to see improvement in few weeks.
Pester your GP or try another if they palm you off is my advice. I’m happy to update thread end of month ?

I’ll be 46 this year btw

Magnesium supplements may help with tiredness, aches and pains (also vit D for aches and pains, but vit D should be monitored with larger supplements to make sure you don’t end up with too much).

I’ve been feeling like this for ages. Feel tired all the time and can’t shift the poundage! Had blood tests and I’m seriously deficient in vitamins B9 and B12 so that may explain it. I’m going to start taking supplements and have bought some dumbbells to do some strength training at home. I’ve read that building up your muscle tissue speeds up your metabolism which helps you lose weight better with a good diet and some decent cardio exercise.
I haven’t got time for the gym so am going to get up early and do some some of Joe Wick’s 15 minute workouts. That’s the plan anyway! (I’m 53)
Hope things improve for you soon!

@1forAll74

I felt really good at this age. I had been divorced for while, and after all the hassle, I felt fit and ready to go again. I was quite slim, and bought a few new clothes, ready to go out and socialise again. I have good skin, but only use simple cosmetics etc, nothing pricey at all, and eat sensibly, and never eat junk food.

Read the room eh

This is me too (43). I've been to the doctors and found it helpful simply talking through it all with someone who took it seriously and was prepared to listen to me. I've had blood tests and been sent away armed with lots of information and resources.

I'm determined to make significant lifestyle changes to help me manage whatever this is and truly believe that stress has a lot to answer for. It's only now that I've got to this stage (complete exhaustion, constant aches, had to cancel plans due to not having the strength to do them) that I realise I have no idea what normal levels of stress are supposed to feel like 😕

I think a lot of it is working fulltime for years without a break. I know perimenopause and stress could play a part. I am 49 and don't feel that I have loads of energy. I work a 9 day fortnight and aim to reduce to a 4 day week. Would this be a possibility? I have tweens.

I cut out socialising a long time ago. Now I meet a friend for coffee every so often. I only go to events eg in laws parties when it would look rude to refuse. I make time for exercise. I spend an hour each eve reading a good book. I try and keep on top of decluttering. It means the house looks reasonable even though I don't deep clean often.

I take a good multivitamin nearly all year round. If I don't take it, I feel exhausted and would be fit to sleep 12 hours a night. This feeling that I need a vitamin nearly all the time started when I returned to fulltime work after having dcs. I do take a break from vitamins for a month in the summer.

I can't tolerate colleagues who do 3 days and seem to have a full social life. A lot of these are way younger than me and only do a few days. I only speak to them to be polite and try to get away with as little non work interaction as possible. However as I am quiet, they sometimes get smart with me. I pull up every comment and question them. In the past few years I can't let any disrespect go and I am prepared to fall out with people if they get smart.

It may well be peri, but also don’t underestimate the toll the last 18 months has taken. I’ve found the relentlessness and uncertainty utterly exhausting. Home schooling and the Hokey Cokey in-out of lockdown has meant I’ve felt responsible for trying to keep the whole family on an even keel, and acting as a replacement for their teacher and their friends as well as being their parent, without the usual respite of school time. It’s left me feeling totally drained and apathetic. Roll on September- am hoping reclaiming some time for myself might help.

I started to feel the same, perimenopause doesn't help.

@user1471554720

I think a lot of it is working fulltime for years without a break. I know perimenopause and stress could play a part. I am 49 and don't feel that I have loads of energy. I work a 9 day fortnight and aim to reduce to a 4 day week. Would this be a possibility? I have tweens.

I cut out socialising a long time ago. Now I meet a friend for coffee every so often. I only go to events eg in laws parties when it would look rude to refuse. I make time for exercise. I spend an hour each eve reading a good book. I try and keep on top of decluttering. It means the house looks reasonable even though I don't deep clean often.

I take a good multivitamin nearly all year round. If I don't take it, I feel exhausted and would be fit to sleep 12 hours a night. This feeling that I need a vitamin nearly all the time started when I returned to fulltime work after having dcs. I do take a break from vitamins for a month in the summer.

I can't tolerate colleagues who do 3 days and seem to have a full social life. A lot of these are way younger than me and only do a few days. I only speak to them to be polite and try to get away with as little non work interaction as possible. However as I am quiet, they sometimes get smart with me. I pull up every comment and question them. In the past few years I can't let any disrespect go and I am prepared to fall out with people if they get smart.

What does them working part time have to do with you not tolerating disrespectful remarks, though?

Yes in some ways, I am 41, I feel like those last years of my 30's went very quickly since having my DS. I worry for so many reasons how it will be and how I will cope as my DS grows and I get older, when I see how bad it is now.
I certainly wish even though I had no plans for children, that this should of been done in early 30's, yes it still would of taken its toll etc, but different age group then all together.
I have had a bad few years. And now living on own with DS short of a year, it's taken its toll on my health, that's for sure!
I have got in to bad habits, one being staying up late/eating late and a lot at night 🤦‍♀️ so I look and feel tired a lot of the time. I can't shift it. I am having a bad week at the mo, because I always suffer a couple of weeks before my period, fatigue, mood and over eating/cravings 🙄
Skin sometimes looks better than other times. But suffered with acne etc since I was bloody 17/18 🤦‍♀️

Howshouldibehave

The fulltimers cover their work and queries when they are not present. Some of them act very smug and superior to us as they are working part time. The nature of the work means their work can't just be left there. Often they arrive in, and a person doing more hours has sorted their query as a phone call came in.

Dealing with all phone calls when they are not in, sorting their queries impacts our own work. And then they are fine and smart after getting such help.... that says it all.

What does them working part time have to do with you not tolerating disrespectful remarks, though?

If people can't see the obvious....

I feel like this and I'm only 38 😔 I feel like life is only going to get harder and more unpleasant. Not a cheering thought