So sick of having to scrimp and save

[desperate4spring]

...despite having an okay income (about £50k joint).

I know that I have a lot to be thankful for. We have 3 lovely children, all healthy and live in a lovely home. But we scrape by!

We budget so tightly, always keep the weekly shop (food, toiletries, cleaning stuff) to under £120 per week, only put £100 per month towards holidays, get my hair cut once per year, buy all clothes from supermarkets, eat out (including take-away) about twice a month, occassional day out, check that we have the cheapest providers etc etc etc.

10yo wants drama lessons, 8yo wants to learn the keyboard, 3yo needs to learn to swim, I would LOVE to join a gym. DH is happy to potter about doing nothing, but I'm BORED and need some excitement! But we cant bloody afford any of it. Even the suggestion of a trip to the cinema warrants a lengthy conversation about whether it's worth the cost!

Rant over.

@wedwewerpink

If it were one of you earning 50k you would be worse off OP (take home of approx 37.5. AND reduced child benefits!)

By having the two of you earning 25k ish then you are taking home 4K more and the child benefit is at its fullest.

I know this doesn't make you feel any better or make a difference to you but, it's perspective I suppose in one way

We feel dearly this with one of us working and the other studying and with a child in nursery. That lost 4K would make a big difference to our quality of life. One more year for DP and it will get better.

I think a lot of people on here are missing the point. They are telling OP how to cut back on 'luxuries' to save money. I think OP's point is that she would like to be able to have a few luxuries here and there on £50k a year. We are very similar (but don't live in the SE) and we have to budget carefully for 'treats' otherwise it is easy for the bits and bobs to add up. I think the OP saying 'scrimp and save' was probably a poor choice of words when some people are facing a choice of eating or paying bills but I do understand what you mean OP. It would be nice to be able to do an activity or stick something nice in your trolley without having to think about how it will impact on the finances. I often wonder how much we'd need to earn for that to be a reality. We're far luckier than many, but that doesn't mean money doesn't feature in many of our conversations and considerations.

But the OP already has luxuries.

She has 3 DC, big luxury and makes everything more expensive, housing, bills, food, holidays, birthdays and Christmas, days out, clothes, all have a significant level of luxury built into their day to day essential costs, due to a larger family.

They can afford to eat out and have days out, again, are already having luxuries if these cost money rather than walking to the park with a picnic.

The OP says they live in an expensive area, but haven't said what their mortgage/rent is. She also hasn't said what they're spending on cars.

The fact is that, unless you are in the top 1%, you can't have everything you want in life and everyone has to make choices.

Also, and not saying this is the case in the OP, but it is very common, that an awful lot of people never bother to shop around, and/or spend an awful lot of money on utter shit that they don't notice or appreciate, so it's always good to be mindful when spending and be aware of how to cut costs without cutting down on what you do/buy, or at least cutting out expenditures that are not worth it to you.

For example, a family day out at a theme park could easily cost £150-200 to get in plus £50+ for poor quality food in the cafe, which you have to queue for.

So instead of not going, or going and complaining about the cost, you look for discount vouchers, where nearly everywhere does, or annual passes if it is somewhere you would go multiple times.

For food, take a picnic, get supermarket meal deals, or go to McDonalds on the way, or whatever, but it's rarely the case that that family day out has to cost £250.

That's very true @BarbaraofSeville . We have friends who have 3 DC, we have one. Both of us live in midlands and on average salary . I would say our friends very similar to the OP in that they have a fairly nice life , occasional treats, days out, one UK holiday a year, but they have to budget more than we do simply because they have 3 DC compared to our one .

OP I do think you sound a bit half empty rather than half full, you have 3 DC, a home, £1200 a year towards a holiday which isn’t essential.

@TerraNovaTwo
80 for a family of five? How?
Can you give an example meal plan you’d use?

DH and I spend that a week on just the two of us - granted I buy organic/ free range when I can, but I do shopping in aldi

@GallowwayGirl88 cottage pie..mash potato with the rest of potatoes & sausages/veggie or meat, veggies. Frozen veggie burger & rest of potatoes made into chips/oven chips , salad. Cheap pasta dish - Philadelphia based or carbonara egg based dish. Another frozen meal.

How much is your mortgage/ rent ?
I think you could get your grocery budget down with careful meal planning and only buying what you need and save around £100 pcm

why do you think you should be better off on those salaries?
The average income in the U.K is 30K. So a combined income of 50K means that at least one of you earns less than the average.
You have 3 kids , live in an expensive area and have a generous grocery budget + treats.
Seems about right to me.
If you earned 70K between you … you might have a point

Also to add - I don’t think 50K is low but in the South East it’s not an income that warrants spending without thinking. Especially with 3 DC. If you wanted that sort of lifestyle you should have factored it into your family planning and career choices.