How do i make my children behave?

[SleepingStandingUp]

Ive spent most of the afternoon moving toddlers off the TV unit and the window sill. Told to get down and moved when they don't. They just go back.
One constantly pulls hair, like fist fulls as he giggles. Hands removed, told no. He just goes back and does it again and again. He also bites surreptitiously.

They just dont listen to me. They're still not talking (odd words) and im worried I've made something wrong with them

Cattle prod.

Have you watched Supernanny? I don’t know their ages but you could try her naughty step routine maybe.

Isn't 20 months a bit young for that? Naughty step, not cattle prod. Im ordering a cattle prod on Amazon right now

@adawong

Cattle prod.

How old are they?

20 months 😔

Twins? Sadly all you can do is calmly stopping them.

Read how to talk so little kids will listen 2-7 year olds. Bit early but gives you hope

20 months?

They need to be outside all day then - they've got cabin fever.

20 months is little. There's not much more you can do to "enforce" good behaviour that will actually have a great effect until they're closer to 3 from my experience of two under 5s.

My youngest didn't really speak much until she was about 6 months older than yours, and then she did strings of words quickly.

When you move them away from "naughty" things, do you engage them with other things that are similarly exciting?

20 months?

That's just a bit younger than DS and he is never left unoccupied, we are always either out the house or playing together at home

In other words, they sound bored

@Givemebackmylilo your child is never left unoccupied? Ever? Not to make dinner, go to the toilet, answer a phone call, or because toddler games are mindnumbing?!

I don’t actually believe you and, if it’s true, I think you need to stop now before you have a child who is completely unable to occupy themselves.

@SleepingStandingUp I don’t reckon they’re bored, I reckon you have 20 month old twins who are just working out the world they are in

@aerosocks

20 months?

They need to be outside all day then - they've got cabin fever.

Its been raining here on and off all day. And yes, there is BAD WEATHER vs bad clothing. 3 kids in my garden in my garden on the slide in the rain for 8 hours? No thanks. And parks with me and 3 kids with two prolific climbers is a nightmare in decent weather let alone the rain making everything slippy.

When you move them away from "naughty" things, do you engage them with other things that are similarly exciting? Well i sometimes just end up moving one after the other in repetition so can't really engage t1 when i need to rescue t2 then t1 ad infinitum. But yes, I'm in the room playing with them as much as possible

if you can't get outside, can you create an exciting activity in the house? build a den with the sofa cushions / make an obstacle course around the table (jump 10 times here etc)

have you got space in your garden for a trampoline? that can tire kids out even on a wet day.

@Givemebackmylilo

In other words, they sound bored

Unfortunately all 3 kids need food and drinks, nappies taking out, door unlocking for eldest and thats without optional extras like house work and washing. So they'll be fine, playing with each other or me. I'll go do something like take the nappies out, come back and they're climbing. Or go in kitchen to make lunch etc. And no. I can't have them both in the tiny kitchen because they like the oven

I used to set up obstacle courses at this age on rainy days. Active kids who were used to outdoor stuff. I called it indoor parkour or the floor is lava. Just chuck a few cushions on the ground, a few placemats from the table etc. They have to jump from the couch to the cushions and then make it around the room only touching cushions or placemats. They love it.

Kids will be naughty if you don't give them something else to do. Spend your day saying yes rather than no. This phase does pass.

Also, softplay.

Thank you @PotteringAlong , beginning to think they climb because I'm a crap mom who locks them in the house and ignores them. They're all really good at playing alone but @Givemebackmylilo its not that easy to constantly play with all of them at the same time. It sounds like you have 1 toddler.

You have got a garden.

This is way more than some people have.

I'm really sorry if I sound harsh, but that time in the garden, rain or shine is not a penitence. The most you need to do is fetch them in, change their clothing, bung it in the wash and dryer and stick a soup on.

I guess you've got organic freshly made pasta on hand delivered?

It's so difficult when the staff keep asking for a day off, isn't it?

You just can't get the staff these days...

Yes spaces are great for their age.

Look it up. It's all about making a safe enclosed environment where they can be terrors.

Physical action with a short direct instruction works. Like "no! I said no climbing on here!" then pick them up and pop them in another room with the door shut. They need to know you mean business when you do in fact, mean business. It's not to be used for everything, just the serious stuff.

See also play / developmental schema. Sounds wanky but it's good stuff to understand. Sincere apologies if I'm teaching you to suck eggs.

Do you have a room with a hard floor that you can make safe and remove breakable things? If so, then buy some ping pong balls and a couple of the larger bouncy balls and get yourself a cushion to sit on

Keep gently correcting them, drink quite a lot of gin and wait two/three years. That should just about do the trick. Your twins sound like entirely normal toddlers to me.

You're allowed to assert yourself. Tone of voice and a quick physical act like whisking them up and popping them somewhere elses works better than violence like smacking.

Twins must be soo hard, you have my sympathy! Climbing, while stressful now, is such a positive thing - they will have great core strength and be able to sit at a table well. We evolved to be climbing trees, it’s such an ancient urge.