How do i make my children behave?

[SleepingStandingUp]

Ive spent most of the afternoon moving toddlers off the TV unit and the window sill. Told to get down and moved when they don't. They just go back.
One constantly pulls hair, like fist fulls as he giggles. Hands removed, told no. He just goes back and does it again and again. He also bites surreptitiously.

They just dont listen to me. They're still not talking (odd words) and im worried I've made something wrong with them

People on this thread are mad OP. There is nothing you can do but enjoy the madness and drink vast quantities of wine in the evening.
My twins are now just over two and starting to listen to directions, the four year old ignores me completely and the six year old is beginning to listen again.

There is light at the end of the tunnel.
We must believe it!

@Longdistance

Waterproofs on, out in the mud with wellies, huge golf umbrella for yourself. Let them go wild. Lolly in 6yo gob (stopper), walk home. Muddy clothes off, food, into a den, crap kids tv. The 6yo is old enough to understand ‘no’ so a follow up with a stern, ‘what did I just say to you/tell you to do?’ Sounds like herding cats

Wellies are the enemy. We sit down and take them off. They can get 4 off quicker than i can get 4 on. In dry weather fine, they're in socks and socks wash. And its finding a space that's big and clear and clean with no dogs (eldest petrified, twins totally not).

I'd love it if there was a twins group near me but there's nothing at all - even before Covid. This thread has actually cheered me up, thanks OP. Nice to speak to likeminded twin mums. My friends and family are great but they have no idea what the everyday reality is like.
I was telling my Dad about DT1 doing something naughty that they keep repeatedly doing and he honestly said to me with a straight face "Have you tried saying "No! In a really stern voice?" I just burst out laughing! Yes Dad, I have tried that funnily enough

Also note how this thread is quite active now as it's the only time we have to be on our phones

Don't be so hard on yourself, you haven't broken your children at 20 months, and even if you are doing somrthing wrong, it's likely it can be fixed. Also all the advice about contained spaces where they can go a bit mad seem to be about right. Could you take them out puddle splashing? I used to do this all the time with my little one and she wore herself out brilliantly?

@5zeds

God I honestly wouldn’t take twins in the loo loose with you!. Something yucky would happen. Besides which who wants an audience? I totally twin proofed one room when they could climb out if the playpen and put a stair gate across the door so I could stash them when I needed to do anything dangerous/difficult. Swimming/soft play/trampolines etc are helpful. It’s really hard work and then you come out the other side. A cleaner really really helps.

Exactly what I did. Totally twin proofed a room- nothing to pull down or climb up or anything. Stair gate on. Makes a world of difference. You can hang washing up, cook dinner, go to the loo with the door open. Couldn’t have managed without it

@Abitlost2 yeah 3 boys. DS, 6 isnt typically "boyish", but he does have never ending energy and the attention span of a gnat.

I do take the point re fresh air, it's just harder when its a 45+ minute bus ride anywhere ddecent.
They have a small fitness trampoline and a 4 ft slide in the garden but i could do more out there for them

No totally safe room @5zeds @OnTheBrink1, locks on every door handle so they can't follow. But quite, who needs that big an audience 🤣
You obv have bigger houses than me!!

I believe @Isawthathaggis 🤣🔦

Oh god @YouHaveBeenWatching, as if we'd never considered saying no lol. Glad the thread has helped ☺️

The problem is @mij66 they're not totally secure in their feet, they're been walking 4 months but most of that is knee shuffling and they're bloody fast. We're just not at the going for a walk and jumping about bit yet. And then one would be trying to drink it whilst the other one wanders off or lies on the floor and cries or one pulls the other over because he's stolen his puddle...

It just feels like too much to actually do ot for 5 minutes before someone is crying or its nap time

Sorry I wasn't much help! The other life saver we had was one of those plastic play pens that we stuffed with dd's rediculous teddy collection. She loved going in, and it meant we could turn our backs for a second. (She is also a champion climber) I hope you can find something that gives you a bit of breathing space anyway!

My son was exactly the same at that age. I fee for you having 2. It’s a phase and it will pass soon (good luck!).

We've just come out of this stage and thankgoodness because it was exhausting!
I found the knly thing that worked really was repetition. A very firm 'No!' And removal of said child from situation. Keep doing this over agai and they soon get the message, also, reward and praise when they listen. My DD responded well to the odd mini marshmellow fod good behaviour

@mij66

Sorry I wasn't much help! The other life saver we had was one of those plastic play pens that we stuffed with dd's rediculous teddy collection. She loved going in, and it meant we could turn our backs for a second. (She is also a champion climber) I hope you can find something that gives you a bit of breathing space anyway!

Jist knowing i dont have awfully naughty toddlers helps lol. We're currently in eldests bedroom whilst the twins lock themselves in the wardrobe. We need wardrobes downstairs clearly 🤣🤣

So puppy walks and puppy treats seems to be the answer 😂

First of all, try not to be so hard on yourself. You're never going to be able to give them the 1:2:1 that you can with a singleton. But that's okay, they have advantages in other ways, always having a playmate.
Being realistic, there's going to be times you have to leave them to do other things. I tried to make a an area that was safe for them. At one point half my living room was a fenced in play area with foam mats that had enough toys to keep them entertained while I was in the kitchen, answering door etc. I used to keep some of the more exciting stuff in there to distract them.
There's no easy answer but it does get better. Mine are both at school now and I have breathing room again 😊

Hats off to you with twins and an older child. I just had the twins and that was hard enough! When mine were that age we toddler proofed the living room and put stair gates in the doorways. It looked dreadful, for a while we had a bookcase turned to face the wall with an armchair wedged against it, and a TV with a fire guard around it! We also had a small slide and a sort of climbing cube. We kept all cardboard boxes, large and small, and just left them in there to be destroyed, sometimes I'd bring home a supply from Tescos just to make sure there was something in the house that could be bashed without things getting damaged. It was a smallish room and looked a complete mess but never mind.
Other things that helped, I had a routine every day,including a walk morning and afternoon, half an hour TV every morning and afternoon, and a nap every afternoon. The walking must be much harder with an older one to entertain, so that might be easier when he is back at school. We walked from the day the second one could walk, so more of a drag than a walk, and I was frequently tangled in reins! It was all about a change of scene and wearing them out though. We didn't even go anywhere really, just along the road and back. I didn't worry about them getting soaked, they dried off easily enough!
We had no family nearby, but a nursery nurse student from a local college came for about four hours once a fortnight and she was a godsend. I couldn't leave her alone with them but it meant they got some individual attention. Term time only but every little helps.
I didn't aim to do anything constructive in the house apart from wipe down the bathroom and kitchen, unless dh was there, so we were probably a bit grubby round the edges as he worked long hours, but nobody died!
And sometimes I would just lie on the floor and let them climb on me as anything else seemed just too difficult!

Sorry, that was a bit long! I had forgotten what it was like until I read this thread. It does get easier, I promise!

Nephew does that, we just ignore it. It’s setrled down now massively.

@Lazyonthesofa

Sorry, that was a bit long! I had forgotten what it was like until I read this thread. It does get easier, I promise!

They do love climbing on me when o lie on the floor lol

I can't see any way to really baby proof without massively t affecting the 6 yo. We have too much stuff. I feel like o need them to all go away for the weekend so i can sort the house

SleepingStandingUp

So puppy walks and puppy treats seems to be the answer 😂

I had my 2 (not twins but quite close in age) on reins and extendable dog leads so they could run around but I was still in charge.

Ds walked at 9 months and was climbing the curtains and jumping off windowsills by 10 months

We had a dog at the time and would treat children in the same way as I did ddog.
Ignore bad behaviour, praise the good.

At this point i wish they were early walkers cos then they'd be properly walking by now. Unfortunately they put all their focus into climbing

Sorry I've not replied. Haven't had two minutes to rub together. We are on holiday which means there's another adult all the time but NOWHERE to contain anyone.

Ha ha one more might just be breaking point.

Hope you are holding it together. All the normal standard advice goes out of the window with active but unsafe twins doesn't it! They also pick their moments really well. One of mine will suddenly find mischief as soon as I'm dealing with his twins massive pooey nappy that I couldn't possibly leave.

Oh mine love to climb on me the minute ive got their brothers poopy nappy in my hand. Like bog off kid!! We're away next week at a friend's, she has NO IDEA what's about to hit her 🤣🤣

Today i had one on the window sill, one on the telly table and my telly hanging off the telly table as the 6 yo screamed me (I'd dared to walk into the kitchen!)

Do you ever get a whole cup of tea?

Thankfully I'm a coffee drinker so when it gets cold, I'm still happy to drink it 🤣 i recommend developing a taste for cold coffee haha

What is it with kids and windowsills? My 18m old is also obsessed with trying to get up on the windowsill (thank goodness I live on the ground floor)

My only tip (which you've probably already done) is can you put as many things as you can at their level - Montessori style, eg. I've got all my board books a the bottom of the book case (so no need to climb up it). I can't do it in my kitchen but my mum has a bottom drawer of plastic bowls/cups/and baby snacks.