How do i make my children behave?

[SleepingStandingUp]

Ive spent most of the afternoon moving toddlers off the TV unit and the window sill. Told to get down and moved when they don't. They just go back.
One constantly pulls hair, like fist fulls as he giggles. Hands removed, told no. He just goes back and does it again and again. He also bites surreptitiously.

They just dont listen to me. They're still not talking (odd words) and im worried I've made something wrong with them

I can't offer advice for their general craziness, but getting them involved in tasks you have to do might distract them for a bit. Get the little ones buttering bread for lunch or even just getting their own plate/crisps/spoon- at a table or just the living room floor if necessary. If you're cleaning, give them a dry cloth each and see if they copy you. They may, in toddler babble, tell you to fuck off but it's worth a try!

Don't stop, keep up the CONSTANT discipline. Never, ever give in. Consistency is absolute key.Its exhausting but the lay off in the end is amazing.

How do you find the school run? I absolutely hate it!

One of my twins hates sitting still so the minute the pushchair stops and I have to wait in a queue he makes such a noise. I dread it! Got it down to a fine art of getting into the playground at the perfect time so I'm not late but also not waiting too long and now the start time will be different in September and I'm dreading it.

I really want to walk into the playground with them but if one starts asking me to pick them up and then the other one does too, I'll be stuck!

Walk them like dogs every day. After breakfast, after lunch and out to play again before tea. Rain or shine. Not just in the garden.

Walk them like dogs every day

Lol, this is so true. I had a dog for years before the kids came along...kid training ended up being exactly like dog training 😂

Oh god yes how dare the pushchair ever stop and i swear they're double jointed - how are you out of the straps i strapped extra tight???

At pick up there's some friends kids who are nursery age and they love talking to the babies and making them giggle but drop off is hell 🤣

My previous post didn't post but thank you to all the solidarity from twin mom's who get you can't give two v different toddlers 100% attention simultaneously. Or just pop them in the garden nicely when ones up the slide and ones trying to eat worms soil and the big one is 6 so os fully aware you're expecting him to play in the rain and everyone has a bloody cough any way and they won't wear wellies

@UnashamedLabelHo

Walk them like dogs every day. After breakfast, after lunch and out to play again before tea. Rain or shine. Not just in the garden.

They're not walking securely yet and revert to knees frequently. If i had them both on reins they'd just end up bloody tangled. I'm also taking tips on walking them both at the same time alone. Im hoping once they're better on their feet it'll be easier

Indoor slide? We had one shaped like a car when my DC was smaller that was very stable. We brought it inside in wet weather and put it on a thick rug. Kept them busy for hours.

Yeah I think something safe climby inside is the only answer other than persistence and patience. Problem is they do the big boy 4ft one so are fairly meh about toddler slides 🤣🤣

Agree with the dog regime. My 23 mo needs taking out on a lead several times a day, lots of ball games, tug of war, clicker train if needs be.

Doee a clicker train work on toddlers lol

My twin boys are 4 next month. The indoor bouncy castles you can buy saved me at this stage. They still love it now, as does their 6 year old sister. If you can afford (approx 120quid) it’s money well spent.

Do you ever let the biter face natural consequences for his actions? Eg a whack in the face from its sibling

Ill have a look, thanks. Living room isn't big tho

Fwiw we also have a hair puller and we had to resort to all family wearing scarves and also just getting up and walking away (once hair was prised out of their grip)- all play stopped immediately. One day we realised we hadn't had any incidents for a while and it just stopped.

Hall? Landing? Spare room? We push sofas back and pile cushions all around and let them go crazy. Occasionally, as a treat, I throw a load of balloons in and shut the door for 2 mins and ignore. Bliss. Also works well in garden when dry.

Toddlers be toddlers. Drink the gin and keep on plodding on really! I don't envy you! I had 3 under 5 at one point. My youngest is 3 now and its easier!

Anyone (me) who has a Labrador and a spaniel who want to walk in different directions at different speeds would know that taking twins out for a walk at the same time would be a challenge.

OP my kids are 16 and 10 and I can barely cope with them after 7 weeks of summer holiday (schools back tomorrow!) so I am in awe of you, you sound like you're doing your absolute best. It will get slightly easier once you can reason (threaten) with them

I don’t know, but I feel mine doesn’t listen to me half the time either and I have no idea how to ‘tell him off’.

I tried to distract him from putting coasters down the radiator earlier by saying not down there etc and distracting with ‘ohh look wooden blocks, let’s build a tower’. He just came over to tower, took blocks and started posting them out the cat flap instead…

I also can’t literally sit and occupy him every second of the day. I dared to go to the loo earlier, brought him with me into bathroom so he didn’t cause chaos or injure himself in 30seconds. Like lightning he had grabbed toilet brush, ran out of reach ( I was on loo!) and started licking it.

I actually feel like my days are some kind of bad sitcom

I had 3 under 3 including twins.
They would have walked all over me if I didn’t be very very firm and consistent.
20 months is when you really need to start putting some very firm boundaries in place. If they haven’t got the just of what is acceptable and not by the age of 4 or 5 then really it’s a loosing battle- it’s too late.
What I did was this:
Made the longe like a soft play. Tv on wall. Sofa and toys was all that was in there. Stair gate to keep them in.
We went out every singe day, rain or shine. Puddle suits on. Wellies, small manageable playgrounds, indoor things like small soft plays. I put them on reins when out of the buggy, or took one out at a time for 10 mins each or I tried to take someone with me to help.
Then home for lunch. Then nap. Then a push around the block or play in the garden. Then tea, bath and bed.
They are going to climb window sills etc but hair pulling and biting is a definite no and you need to be firm and consistent going forward. Going into 2+ they will push your buttons so much and see what it takes to get you to cave in and give up. Never give up. If you have said no, it’s no.
Distraction is also good at that age. You need to keep them entertained and have a bit of structure. It’s boring, it’s relentless, it’s cold and wet and uncomfortable and tiring.
It doesn’t last - you will be onto the next stage really soon.

@Caspianberg

I don’t know, but I feel mine doesn’t listen to me half the time either and I have no idea how to ‘tell him off’.

I tried to distract him from putting coasters down the radiator earlier by saying not down there etc and distracting with ‘ohh look wooden blocks, let’s build a tower’. He just came over to tower, took blocks and started posting them out the cat flap instead…

That’s brilliant- make a game out of that then. Find a box, cut a flap and let him post them through!

I used to run myself a bath, put the high chair in the bathroom and strap my DC into it (they'd watch Peppa Pig or Bing on the tablet). When I'd really had enough, I'd bring my book into the bath and they'd watch it for a very, very long time.

@HadEnoughOfBears I have a Springer spaniel as well as twins and 6 year old. What on Earth was I thinking!

Joking answer: semi automatic

Real answer: Bribery