How do i make my children behave?

[SleepingStandingUp]

Ive spent most of the afternoon moving toddlers off the TV unit and the window sill. Told to get down and moved when they don't. They just go back.
One constantly pulls hair, like fist fulls as he giggles. Hands removed, told no. He just goes back and does it again and again. He also bites surreptitiously.

They just dont listen to me. They're still not talking (odd words) and im worried I've made something wrong with them

sleeping sounds like such hard work. I had a one year old and a three year old and that was tough so I think twins would’ve sent me over the edge.

A couple of things I used to do-

1. Disco. I bought disco lights and a bubble machine and would dance to loud music in an attempt to tire them out
2. Musical instruments. I bought some which we’d play along to Tangled as I think that was the preferred Disney film at the time but have also been known to make them with wooden spoons/ Tupperware / old pans/ tissue box and elastic band guitar.

If you have your own garden, even if it’s raining, a wet suit and some wellies and you’re good to go - let them jump around in puddles and mud etc and release their energy.

It’s probably better than battling them at home constantly. I know you have other duties and chores but what about after lunch if you release them into the garden for a few hours. They probably won’t annoy you as much outside as they do indoors. Let the washing pile up and deal with it once they are in bed x

It sounds like there's nothing wrong with them, you've just got two perfectly normal toddlers on your hands who haven't yet got out of that loooong phase where all day is a constant battle to try and keep them from accidentally ending up in A&E.

My best advice is to try to get someone else to watch them once in a while so you get time to decompress, and in a year or so the imminent injury phase will be over and you can get on to the phase where they fight all the time 😂

Twins are challenging at that age.
I had a mini trampette, a soft play obstacle course from early learning center and several washing baskets filled with soft play type balls.
It was ridiculous but it helped keep them occupied.

@SleepingStandingUp mine are only a few months older than yours and are currently loving these bubble popper pads.

This sounds exhausting OP.

Can you get someone to help you with some of this? With whichever bit makes most sense, like a cleaner or maybe a mother’s helper to give you a hand?

Or someone to take the 6 yr old out a couple of mornings?

@PotteringAlong

Yup, never left alone.

We make breakfast and lunch together as a family, and dinner is made when DH is home.

I don't take phone calls until it is his nap time.

He comes with me if I need the toilet and just chats or plays with his toys by me.

@MintyGreenDream

Joking answer: semi automatic

Real answer: Bribery

20 months is so young for bribery tho

Very true.Youll get out the other side I promise you

It sounds like there's nothing wrong with them, you've just got two perfectly normal toddlers on your hands who haven't yet got out of that loooong phase where all day is a constant battle to try and keep them from accidentally ending up in A&E. Yup this is my fear 🤣🤣🤣

My best advice is to try to get someone else to watch them once in a while so you get time to decompress hahahaha. My Mom has them for 45 minutes whilst i take DS to gymnastics / before DH gets home. That's my lot.

@Rainbows89

This sounds exhausting OP.

Can you get someone to help you with some of this? With whichever bit makes most sense, like a cleaner or maybe a mother’s helper to give you a hand?

Or someone to take the 6 yr old out a couple of mornings?

Tbf we've got this week at home. Then holiday for a week then home then school so its ok with him here and he does scream if one of them climbs something inappropriate, but their naps are to pot as they've moved to no sides on the cot so its just unrelenting and the 6 yo is desperate for alone time

I also broke my days into quarters so I didn't have to mentally tackle a whole day at once.
I also went back to work three days a week even though nursery costs where the same as my wage!

[quote Givemebackmylilo]@PotteringAlong

Yup, never left alone.

We make breakfast and lunch together as a family, and dinner is made when DH is home.

I don't take phone calls until it is his nap time.

He comes with me if I need the toilet and just chats or plays with his toys by me.

[/quote]
Yeah i can imagine the carnage of TWO 20 mo making lunch. And one kid in the loo with you is fine. But when there's 2, one of them is trying to climb in the bath whilst you're mid poo and the other os trying to rugby tackle his brother or has wandered back to the stairs

@paddlingon

I also broke my days into quarters so I didn't have to mentally tackle a whole day at once. I also went back to work three days a week even though nursery costs where the same as my wage!

I haven't worked since eldest was born. He's complex needs so just wasn't viable with a trillion hospital appts in the early years. As he went full time i got pregnant.... I want to go back at some point but id struggle to cover twins childcare plus wraparound for a complicated 6 yo

You can totally bribe 20mo with certain high value (not expensive) toys and sweets! I took our 5 yo and 20mo twins to Canada on an 11 hour flight that was managed entirely with distraction and bribery! Peppa pig used to keep mine happy and a big water art mat with pens you fill with water. Re hurting each other - the one causing the injury goes in a play pen/travel cot with a toy or two but not too much. That separates them and safely allows hurt dc to recover.

When dtds we’re 22 mo I said “if you kick your sister again I’ll put you in the step” she looked at me, considered her options, kicked her sister and walked to put herself on the step as if she’d gone “totally worth it!”

I really want a cleaner or at least a deep clean once a month but I'm too embarrassed to have someone round to clean!
I do what I can but the twins are honestly everywhere and if it's not nailed down they will pick it up and walk off somewhere with it and leave it in a random place.

I have a cleaner. I really hope she’s discrete - my twins are unable to flush toilets (might only be one of them but how do you tell?!) drives me insane. I turned dd2’s light off three times by 2pm and found her clothes on the downstairs loo floor. She has her own bedroom so why??? Argh (she’s almost 10 and perfectly capable).

Sorry @m0therofdragons but that made me laugh

I can distract with food but if i say do this or... or do this and.... they just look at me blankly

@YouHaveBeenWatching god me too

I've actually been putting off having people round for visits because of "house-barrassment". We moved in before I had the twins and thought we would redecorate the house but 3 years later and all we've done is the kids bedrooms

OP seek out local church hall playgroups. Willing old people to watch them while you have a cuppa.

Solidarity from someone with only 2 kids. You're a superstar.

Nursery. I send my 23 month old to nursery so it’s their problem not mine 4 days a week. 3 days I can manage, 7 I can’t be bothered.
DD tries to kill herself about every 3 minutes at home.

Waterproofs on, out in the mud with wellies, huge golf umbrella for yourself. Let them go wild. Lolly in 6yo gob (stopper), walk home. Muddy clothes off, food, into a den, crap kids tv.
The 6yo is old enough to understand ‘no’ so a follow up with a stern, ‘what did I just say to you/tell you to do?’
Sounds like herding cats

Are they all male? I'm sure ppl will disagree etc but I think that they are more physical at that age. I have three ds close in age and while totally different characters and I massively encourage other activities like art, reading, baking they were all hugely climby and runny awayish at 15 months to 3 years. They couldn't sit still for 5 seconds as toddlers... newborn part was a walk in the park in comparison!
I.brought.them.out.constantly in any weather, I absolutely had to or they'd spend the day climbing stuff and getting into things, jumping off stuff etc etc. It was totally innate.
They are older now, hugely fit, excellent muscle tone , extremely healthy and great diets and I'm 36 and the fittest I've ever been because of the last 10 years of running around like crazy after the 3, but crazy times !
Out , out and more out.. I just nappy changed in boot of car , brought packed lunches and dressed them in wet gear when raining, it rains a lot here, I let them get soaked.. I have to say they were /are almost never got ill as the fresh air was great and they'd eat anything as always hungry from exercising. It's stood to them now they are older op, one of the best things is fitness, for diet , mental health, you look better etc so long term they are onto a good thing !

Twins have an extra level of confidence ime. Someone to back them up in not giving a shit what you think. Toddler age will make you laugh but also nearly kill you. At 4yo I said to dh “I finally feel in control” dh laughed and pointed out that’s because they’re in school 9-3 each weekday it was true.

When one was at a friend’s, the difference having an older dc and a younger one (just 2 of them) was immense. I could bake with them without disastrous outcomes. I have embraced the madness but it’s still properly nuts just less relentless as they can do more themselves now.

God I honestly wouldn’t take twins in the loo loose with you!. Something yucky would happen. Besides which who wants an audience?
I totally twin proofed one room when they could climb out if the playpen and put a stair gate across the door so I could stash them when I needed to do anything dangerous/difficult. Swimming/soft play/trampolines etc are helpful. It’s really hard work and then you come out the other side. A cleaner really really helps.