How do i make my children behave?

[SleepingStandingUp]

Ive spent most of the afternoon moving toddlers off the TV unit and the window sill. Told to get down and moved when they don't. They just go back.
One constantly pulls hair, like fist fulls as he giggles. Hands removed, told no. He just goes back and does it again and again. He also bites surreptitiously.

They just dont listen to me. They're still not talking (odd words) and im worried I've made something wrong with them

Get an indoor nappy bin

There isn’t much you can do at this age on the behaviour front except keep repeating and hope it sinks in eventually. So the only thing you can do is to try to minimise whatever you have to do that takes you away.

Cattle prod would be inhumane. Duct tape is a far better option.

@parietal

if you can't get outside, can you create an exciting activity in the house? build a den with the sofa cushions / make an obstacle course around the table (jump 10 times here etc)

have you got space in your garden for a trampoline? that can tire kids out even on a wet day.

One trampoline. They prefer the slide. And standing on top of ot with no hands. 4ft slide. And then pushing each other out the way. If we're outside i don't move from the slide. And its just hard doing something suitable for 2 toddlers and an over-hyper 6 yo

Get a triclimb and keep reinforcing this is for climbing on, not window sills etc.
If they climb where they shouldn't, just calmly take them down, say 'no climbing on the window sill' and put them on the triangle saying 'you can climb here'. Just be consistent and calm and they'll get the message.
If they start checking to see if you're looking when they're climbing where they shouldn't, prob giggling a bit, that's them being naughty and needs the same action with a firmer word, but you prob won't have that fkr a while as they're still little.

You make it more advantageous for them to be do what you want than what you don’t want and you accept that it takes time for them to learn.

Get a room divider or a playpen to protect the TV/stop access to climbing. Get them MUCH tireder (bit of tubing tied to the bannisters and a lot of balls/cars is knackering for littles). Prep all your cooking in the evening so it’s quick and if you can afford it get a cleaner once or twice a week.
Put as much away as you can and have box on the top of the fridge full of activities for moments when you need a cup of coffee (eg bubble mixture, dressing up, fuzzy felt, animals to hide so they can find them)

6 yo would love it but in the time it takes me to get something like that set up, the twins are causing chaos. Then whilst im supervising one 20 mo jumping off something approved, the other one os jumping on something they shouldn't. I think you're right @Guineapigbridge and others who said about setting up more than emptying the toy cupboard, i just feel like i never get on top of it to get it set up between bfast and naps and lunch and chores.

@beigebrownblue i don't know what your problem is. So every parent struggling must be some detached middle class bitch who doesn't like her kids??

You can’t unless they want to. Same as I can’t with my DTs. They don’t give a shit about my approval or opinion, as they’ve got the approval from their twin and just escalate in craziness and egg each other on.

The only things I’ve found that has had limited success is to separate them as soon as they go bonkers, but even that isn’t guaranteed! The other thing is to get them out of the house for hours, no matter how shitty the weather and completely exhaust them so they don’t have the energy for anything other than sitting down and watching tv.

It’s not you, it really is them

Just a suggestion…

@MrsAukerman

See also play / developmental schema. Sounds wanky but it's good stuff to understand. Sincere apologies if I'm teaching you to suck eggs.

No thats helpful thanks.

Promiseo Ds We can do soft play but at £6 EACH its not something we can afford to do regularly.

I wish @OutOfTrousers, I'd bloody live in it 😂 alas Living room is our only room and it has tv, sofas which they also climb on, chair which is ised to climb onto back window sill...

Yeah we do no, move, etc rather than smacking etc.

Gin sounds good right now @MyFloorIsLava, I'm messaging in between making them go to bed 🙄🙄🙄

My twin boys are almost the same age as yours. They love climbing too. I spend my life keeping them safe (as much as I can) and like you have little time to entertain them on top. You sound like you are trying your best at a very very hard job. The park is hard and dangerous for us too and an indoor obstacle course would be moved by one twin or argued over!!

Things that help....

Large areas of just grass are much better for us than parks. They run but never very far and I'm not worried about them climbing.

Small play parks when they are empty of other chdren so at least I'm not worried about them running in front of swings etc.

Going in the garden with very old clothes on and the door shut so they can't bring the muck in.

Fastening them in the pram in the hall with my ipad on.

It's not you, its them.
They are toddlers exploring the way toddlers do.
And one of those ways us to do the same thing 20 times, and see if the same thing happens.
Just keep going as best as you can. You are doing great.
Hope the rain clears for tomorrow, and you xan get them out somewhere.

Op I have almost the same set up as you. A 6 year old and 2.5 year old twins. Some days I spend the whole day telling one or the other "No" it's so hard. I sometimes had to barricade off certain areas, especially when they were that much younger as they just don't understand or find it a game (which is very frustrating for you.)

Sticker books might be your friend. I bought a playpen off amazon which opened out so could be used as a small barrier to stop them from getting into a big set of drawers in our living room. I was almost ready to jump out of the window with the amount of times they emptied the drawer whilst I mopped to the kitchen to get one thing.

Oh and taking twins out in pissing down rain in the garden at that age?? Not fun for anyone!! Bit of rain and a splash is fine if it's not too heavy, but OP said the weather is really bad.

@justjoinedforthis they're def an argument for evolution from apes!!

@minipie did til they could open it ..... Isn't really room in the hallway or kitchen

@nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut point taken!!

@Cannes12 I'd love one but they're so bloody expensive!! And we don't have masses of space and they all seem to need decent floor space. And they're bloody expensive. And oh no, T1 esp will look to see if im watching and grin at me. I do not grin back. They think it's bloody hilarious

@5zeds no option for room divider as room isnt big enough and they managed to push the play pen around the living room and then climb out of it. Not helped by being decent sized todddlers

Thanks for the solidarity @MuchTooTired

Perfect @MotionActivatedDog

My son is a similar age and I find telling him what he can do really helps. So, if he's climbing ill say "looks like you want to climb, you can't climb on the TV unit, but you can climb on the sofa/cushions/chairs etc"
Then take them to the safe thing.

Twins are so tough. Mine are 2 and 4 months now, and I promise you it does get easier as their understanding and communication improves. Be consistent and use simple short commands. Don't let people get you down about not being their idea of the perfect mummy 24/7. With twins it's a whole different ballgame - as they get older and can play together properly we'll reap the benefits 😉

Well hats off to you because I have one 20 month old and keeping him happy, engaged and safe 24/7 is exhausting. He climbs non stop, always wants what he cannot have and I cannot take my eyes off of him as the second I do he’s up to no good so I cannot imagine how others manage with two like him!

In an ideal world they wouldn’t be left to entertain themselves, get bored etc however things around the house have to get done. I put DS in his playpen and stick the telly on if I need to do a quick job.

We also spend a lot of time outside but if it’s poor weather it’s just crap! I don’t have the answer but toddlers are damn hard work!

I have twins. I can remember these days. I used to take them for long pushchair walks, then the park. I also used to organise lots of art/craft things at home as this kept them busy and happier. But they were HARD WORK. I completely empathise and understand your struggle- it’s the hardest time!

Twins encourage each other to do even naughtier things- they were a million times harder than my others.

I hear ya!!! It’s so fucking hard isn’t it. Thankfully my toddler isn’t a biter but she is a climber and I also have a young baby in the mix. It’s a mission to get anything done sometimes outside of stopping the toddler getting at the baby 😂 mine dosent listen either, though she is only 18 months and curiosity gets the better of her. I used to work in childcare and this is normal for their age. They will be much more agreeable in a years time. For now, we have to embrace the madness to an extent and consider the day a victory if nobody is injured😂 mine is in the park a lot and although it helps at the time when we are back inside she is crazy again. I spend as much time as possible in an open field with her between feeding the baby but to be honest in the bad weather when we don’t get out I don’t notice a huge change in her it’s just the madness is easier to manage in an open space as she can’t climb up on a table or something equally dangerous 😂 and the baby is safe in the pram!

Do you mean your username @Onemorewouldbelovely?? Thanks for the solidarity too. Yeah open grass is good, local park is small but not always clean and they eat off the floor 🙄 but there's a nicer one thats mostly manageable 50 m bus away. It's just a jaunt. They loved the splash park but its big and i cant manange it alone

Let them climb? I just let mine at it to be honest. 3 year old spends his life on window ledge, he's developed reasonable sense of his own capabilities it seems as has never fallen.

Wait. About 10 years. I expect they will be quite good company by then.

Book someone to install the TV up on the wall. Looks fucking hideous but is a sanity saver. Put the sofa infront of the windowsill.

Take all the cushions off the sofa, chuck all their duvets etc onto the floor too, and hoy all your Tupperware into the mix for fun too.

Then sit in the corner and Mumsnet while they go mad.

@YouHaveBeenWatching and @newrubylane @forevercurious and @Greenmarmalade thank you x

@MistyFrequencies

Let them climb? I just let mine at it to be honest. 3 year old spends his life on window ledge, he's developed reasonable sense of his own capabilities it seems as has never fallen.

Now put another one on there who wants to get past and isn't afraid to pull hair or wrestle... 🙄😂