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Original poster

Come and tell me about how your MIL irritates you

130 replies

lagerandblack · 06/08/2021 17:04

I have always got on well with my MIL and still do but she has started to irritate me lately and I wondered if anyone else had any pet peevs with regards to their MIL?
A couple of years ago MIL had a fall and broke her pelvis and ever since she has needed a "walking frame". She feels she cant manage without it and it goes everywhere with her when she leaves the house. So far no problem. However.....
...when she calls in to visit us she pushes the door wide open and then proceeds to ram the "walker" through the door with no thought to our front door or the paint work and then the same routine when she leaves.
If we casually ask her to leave it outside she replies "Ooohh nooo someone will pinch it"
I know, I know I shouldn't be bothered by this and I love her I really do, but my god it just pisses me off.
So I have started parking the car right up to the front door to make it more difficult and hoping she will actually leave it outside.
Please tell me I am not alone and there are other people out there with these irrational irritations?

OP posts:
Knittedfairies · 06/08/2021 17:06

Could you put the walker somewhere safer?

Pegasusmail · 06/08/2021 17:08

It's hard isnt it.
But I try and be kind.
Mine is very sexist and makes it known that the men are the boss of any house and a womans place is in the kitchen doing chores.

She looks shocked if a woman treats herself and everything is 'John said' (father in law not real name) when she is projecting her own views. I don't have anything in common with her but I would only say it on here. In real life I nod and smile though I can't stand it.

FlibbertyGiblets · 06/08/2021 17:08

Ummmm do you not make sure the door is fully open for your guest who walks with an aid?
What does your husband say about your attempts to get his mother to abandon her walking aid at visits without medical or professional input? Crikey

Original poster
lagerandblack · 06/08/2021 17:08

yes it could go in the garage but she wants it at the bottom of the stairs where its inconvenient for people going up and down stairs.

OP posts:
FlibbertyGiblets · 06/08/2021 17:09

Do you live in Rapunzel's Tower?

Original poster
lagerandblack · 06/08/2021 17:12

FlibbertyGiblets she just walks in so we dont usually get to the door until she has smacked her walker into the door and walls come in.

OP posts:
Original poster
lagerandblack · 06/08/2021 17:13

FlibbertyGiblets No a regular detached house.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 06/08/2021 17:14

Keep the front door locked?

Original poster
lagerandblack · 06/08/2021 17:14

She is a lovely lady and MIL, its just a totally irrational irritation.

OP posts:
RuthTopp · 06/08/2021 17:14

My Mil is very lax when it comes to covid. During the 1st & 2nd lockdown , and inspite of having the letter telling her she is classed as clinically extremely vulnerable, she refused to stay at home as much as possible . She also bubbled up with multiple people , so she could go in their houses. All while moaning about people ' spreading it ' and ignoring that she was herself.
My dh was also CEV and we were shielding to protect him. She couldn't understand why we didn't want her to come here for a holiday ( again whilst this was not allowed ) telling us she would kill herself if she can't see us.

hehehhehe · 06/08/2021 17:15

What a mean, disablist thread. I'm not seeing the funny side of this one.

Wait until you're old and relying on a walking frame, OP.

Echobelly · 06/08/2021 17:16

My MIL is quite good with pass-agg. Like, when the kids were small and stayed over with her and we didn't bring a hairbrush (because, y'know, there are hairbrushes as MIL's house) she'd say 'Do you not have a hairbrush?' rather than saying 'Have you brought a hairbrush with?'.

Also, she refuses to take a hint, like if she offers us something we don't want or, in our previous place, something we don't have room for, we'd politely say it wasn't practical to have and then she'd keep mentioning it until we had to say 'Thanks but we really don't have the room'. And then she'd still give it to us anyway.

And she'll go on and on about something, like decorating a room, until you get around to it.

AmandaHoldensLips · 06/08/2021 17:19

Don't even. Then there's the car door in the supermarket car park situation... "don't open the door, I'll come round and open it for you." But they insist on opening it anyway to demonstrate independence and smash it into the car parked next to you putting a massive dent in both cars while looking totally incredulous.

Original poster
lagerandblack · 06/08/2021 17:19

I know hehehhehe as I said its just a minor irritation, I love her and have her round all the time, do errands for her but I just wish she would either leave the walker outside (she doesnt use it indoors) or let us put it in the garage.

OP posts:
home2012 · 06/08/2021 17:20

I love my mil, just had to stay for four days. I swear she asked my kids every five min if they needed a wee, both are fully trained, haven't had a accident in forever! They kept looking bemused at her

Geamhradh · 06/08/2021 17:23

@hehehhehe

What a mean, disablist thread. I'm not seeing the funny side of this one.

Wait until you're old and relying on a walking frame, OP.

I agree.

I thought it was going to be a "funny quirks" thing not a full on "disabled person doesn't care about my paintwork so I'll park outside the door and make it even harder for her"

RandomMess · 06/08/2021 17:25

If the op's MIL let the op help then the walker could come inside without her damaging the door and walls every time Confused

Original poster
lagerandblack · 06/08/2021 17:26

AmandaHoldensLips I dont have that because she cant push the door open (its too heavy) but I have to fold the walker to fit it in the boot which is tricky because its full of plastic bags, newspapers and other stuff she keeps in there that make it difficult to fold

OP posts:
pinkyredrose · 06/08/2021 17:26

My MIL is quite good with pass-agg. Like, when the kids were small and stayed over with her and we didn't bring a hairbrush (because, y'know, there are hairbrushes as MIL's house) she'd say 'Do you not have a hairbrush?' rather than saying 'Have you brought a hairbrush with?

How is that passive aggressive? Hmm

Original poster
lagerandblack · 06/08/2021 17:27

Our door is open for her always, she just wont leave the walker outside or in the garage.

OP posts:
pineapplecat21 · 06/08/2021 17:27

My MIL brought another family member a pet. Family member doesn't really bother with said pet.
MIL then moans at everyone else for not helping with said pet... and refuses to sell it despite struggling.
Very annoying. Constantly going around in circles. But not my monkey... not my circus. Smile

kokosm · 06/08/2021 17:41

If you needed a frame for your independence you'd probably want it kept somewhere you felt was secure, too

Original poster
lagerandblack · 06/08/2021 17:43

kokosm then it should be in the garage

OP posts:
1FootInTheRave · 06/08/2021 17:49

She hands down all her decent make-up to dd.

I am just jealous tbh!

I am v v lucky because she, and her partner, are bloody fabulous.

NSA2103 · 06/08/2021 17:52

My ex-MIL used to irritate me by merely existing. Thankfully I divorced her daughter and now encounter neither. Bliss!