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Original poster

Come and tell me about how your MIL irritates you

130 replies

lagerandblack · 06/08/2021 17:04

I have always got on well with my MIL and still do but she has started to irritate me lately and I wondered if anyone else had any pet peevs with regards to their MIL?
A couple of years ago MIL had a fall and broke her pelvis and ever since she has needed a "walking frame". She feels she cant manage without it and it goes everywhere with her when she leaves the house. So far no problem. However.....
...when she calls in to visit us she pushes the door wide open and then proceeds to ram the "walker" through the door with no thought to our front door or the paint work and then the same routine when she leaves.
If we casually ask her to leave it outside she replies "Ooohh nooo someone will pinch it"
I know, I know I shouldn't be bothered by this and I love her I really do, but my god it just pisses me off.
So I have started parking the car right up to the front door to make it more difficult and hoping she will actually leave it outside.
Please tell me I am not alone and there are other people out there with these irrational irritations?

OP posts:
elliejjtiny · 06/08/2021 17:53

My mil insists on hugging ds (aged 13) who is autistic and hates physical contact. During lockdown when nobody was hugging anyone I would get the occasional very brief hug from him but now I don't get anything because mil insists on getting her massive hug twice a week.

choli · 06/08/2021 17:58

we didn't bring a hairbrush (because, y'know, there are hairbrushes as MIL's house)
Most people I know were taught not to share hairbrushes.

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 06/08/2021 18:16

My MIL rang up for an innocent helpful chat (cross examination) about my ancestors which led to her declaring that no body in "OUR" family had a worrying medical condition that was affecting DC1 at the time and concluded that DC1 must have got it from me, from my bad genes.
That was the depth of her concern for DC1.
She says a lot of stuff like this and yes it is a wee bit irritating.

Sewaccidentprone · 06/08/2021 18:17

Ex mil was (is still!) odd. She’d offer me things that she didn’t use, but then never actually give them to me.

Conversely she would buy loads of ‘her taste’ stuff from the charity shops (or wherever she sourced them) then give them to me. You know, curtains which were completely too small, polyester bedding etc. nothing that was actually useful and just a pain to get rid of.

I was always ravenous at her house as she’d serve the food in the kitchen, then bring the plates through. Women only ever had half the size portion of the men. And as I was veggie there was no way I could nick off someone’s else’s plate as it was always covered in meaty gravy.

I haven’t had to deal with her for years, but I hear all about her ‘quirks’ from ds1. She also won’t see anyone due to COVID, but she can’t go to the shops and isn’t tech savvy so relies on her neighbors to get her shopping. Then complains about what they’ve got her. She won’t let anyone do an online shop for her and have it delivered.

Could go on, and on, and on…………

WorraLiberty · 06/08/2021 18:21

Why are you so obsessed with your garage?

Just bung the frame in the lounge or somewhere else indoors while she's there.

You're not covering yourself in glory here OP.

LifesNotEnidBlyton · 06/08/2021 18:25

"and I wondered if anyone else had any pet peevs with regards to their MIL?"

On Mumsnet? How novel. Wink Grin

OoglyMoogly · 06/08/2021 18:39

My MIL is quite good with pass-agg. Like, when the kids were small and stayed over with her and we didn't bring a hairbrush (because, y'know, there are hairbrushes as MIL's house) she'd say 'Do you not have a hairbrush?' rather than saying 'Have you brought a hairbrush with?'

You don't use other people's hairbrushes! Hmm

romdowa · 06/08/2021 18:39

Her blind defence of asshole bil, it's actually crazy the things she thinks are OK for him to do and makes every excuse in the book 🙄 has little interest then in my dp.

BashfulClam · 06/08/2021 18:41

@WorraLiberty maybe there isn’t space in the lounge for it?

Mustgethelppls · 06/08/2021 18:43

My ex mother in law was awfully lazy and unhygienic, awful nasty woman to be honest and im soooo glad she is an ex mother in law...but... the most annoying thing she used to do was place the lids on top of things but not screw them on!! Things like fabric conditioner or milk. God it drove me mad 😠 😂😂 why???? How lazy can you be to not screw the lid on.

Original poster
lagerandblack · 06/08/2021 18:45

warraliberty the sofa is in the way of walker going into lounge, it would be very easy for it to go into the garage because the garage door is next to the front door. Next time she calls round it will get put in there out of the way.

OP posts:
GoodVibesHere · 06/08/2021 18:49

I wouldn't make her leave it outside - it should be kept indoors, and if her mobility is dodgy then she probably feels comforted having it nearby.

However, I do think she's being really rude bashing your door with it. She's got into a bad habit by the sounds of it. Have you tried saying 'ooh careful, it's bashing the door and the door is getting wrecked'

Awkward, but she needs to be told until she stops doing it.

AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken · 06/08/2021 19:01

Wanting me to switch to formula or express milk so that she could feed the baby.

Original poster
lagerandblack · 06/08/2021 19:06

goodvibeshere she wont use it indoors.

OP posts:
IWantT0BreakFree · 06/08/2021 19:19

My MIL is a "nobody's good enough for my boy" type. She barely conceals her hatred of me and as a consequence we see very little of her. Whenever we do though, she does this really blatantly rude thing of directing all of her questions to my husband to make it crystal clear that she doesn't want to interact with me at all. We'll both be sat next to each other on the sofa and it's "So, when is it you go off on holiday, Dave? (obvs not real name)" or "how's DC getting on at school, Dave?". DH and I find it bonkers and have a good laugh about it in the car on the way home. We've learned that she just plays dumb if you confront her and we have detached from the relationship to the point where we don't have the inclination to do anything about it really. Sad really.

Loudestcat14 · 06/08/2021 19:21

@kokosm

If you needed a frame for your independence you'd probably want it kept somewhere you felt was secure, too
That was my first thought. She's recovering from a pelvic fracture and must be frightened she's going to fall and do it again. But OP just thinks she's being annoying. Hmm

OP, why not just ask her to be more careful with the paintwork?

PurpleMustang · 06/08/2021 19:21

@elliejjtiny

My mil insists on hugging ds (aged 13) who is autistic and hates physical contact. During lockdown when nobody was hugging anyone I would get the occasional very brief hug from him but now I don't get anything because mil insists on getting her massive hug twice a week.
No, you have got to be his voice and stop that. She needs to respect his choices and his body and not force herself on him. This is wrong in so many ways.
Cocomade · 06/08/2021 19:23

I could think of a lot more worse things for a MIL to be doing tbh.

SarahAndQuack · 06/08/2021 19:25

Oh, let me count the ways.

  • She constantly hints/begs for money, from little things ('ooh, you could buy me a bag like that') to big ('you can buy me a little house near you').
  • She is constantly racist, sexist and homophobic, sometimes all three together ('those Eastern Europeans never work a day in their lives and their women have to work; they're all a bit '"that way" in my view' or 'you have to be coloured these days to get a council house and then they all have babies with whoever'). These are particularly ironic because she is Polish ancestry and lives in a council house, and she knows full well DP is gay.
  • She doesn't believe DD is really mine and is quite open about this.
  • She steals, quite openly, very small things - like teaspoons in the cafe or whatever.
  • She believes DP earns all the money and constantly has a go at me for 'spending' it (I earn more than DP, but even if I didn't, it's none of her business).

I really could go on. And on.

MaMelon · 06/08/2021 19:26

MIL never phones. In 27 years of being married to DH I could count on the fingers of one hand the number of times she has phoned us. I once reminded her that phone lines run both ways when she complained she hadn’t heard from us in a while and she was quite taken aback.

That’s just one of the alway she irritates me but it really winds me up. She’s loaded so it’s not that she’s worried about the cost of a phone call.

woodfort · 06/08/2021 19:38

I can definitely understand the paintwork thing and think you need to discuss that with her again and not a usually, in passing.
As for keeping it in the house not the garage, I don’t understand the issue. Assuming you can walk around it and it’s not sitting there for 4 or 5 days at a time, what’s the issue? It would be like if you take a pram somewhere.. generally it would be kept in the hallway even if that’s a bit inconvenient. There’s something about taking it and putting it in the garage that is really off, it just means she has to ask to get it back and removes any independence she has.

Moonshine160 · 06/08/2021 20:02

@GoodVibesHere

I wouldn't make her leave it outside - it should be kept indoors, and if her mobility is dodgy then she probably feels comforted having it nearby.

However, I do think she's being really rude bashing your door with it. She's got into a bad habit by the sounds of it. Have you tried saying 'ooh careful, it's bashing the door and the door is getting wrecked'

Awkward, but she needs to be told until she stops doing it.

This.
Guineapigbridge · 06/08/2021 20:37

Mine is relentlessly negative. And loves nothing more than a story about someone who's made a terrible mistake. She dines out on others' tragedies, especially if they've been experienced by her own children.
She also fauns over anyone who is a millionaire, whether or not they're a total prick.

user1493494961 · 06/08/2021 20:38

I imagine most of you will be a MIL yourself one day.

Guineapigbridge · 06/08/2021 20:38

Oh, and she's sexist as hell, secretly believes all women are bitches.

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