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Come and tell me about how your MIL irritates you

130 replies

lagerandblack · 06/08/2021 17:04

I have always got on well with my MIL and still do but she has started to irritate me lately and I wondered if anyone else had any pet peevs with regards to their MIL?
A couple of years ago MIL had a fall and broke her pelvis and ever since she has needed a "walking frame". She feels she cant manage without it and it goes everywhere with her when she leaves the house. So far no problem. However.....
...when she calls in to visit us she pushes the door wide open and then proceeds to ram the "walker" through the door with no thought to our front door or the paint work and then the same routine when she leaves.
If we casually ask her to leave it outside she replies "Ooohh nooo someone will pinch it"
I know, I know I shouldn't be bothered by this and I love her I really do, but my god it just pisses me off.
So I have started parking the car right up to the front door to make it more difficult and hoping she will actually leave it outside.
Please tell me I am not alone and there are other people out there with these irrational irritations?

OP posts:
RhonaRed · 06/08/2021 20:40

Ah, let me count the ways..

MyFloorIsLava · 06/08/2021 20:43

My MIL is a lovely woman but by fuck she panders to youngest BIL (neurotypical adult, bit of a PITA) sooooo much. To the extent she's considering selling her house and moving to another county to fund a legal issue he's having which is his own fault anyway

MyFloorIsLava · 06/08/2021 20:44

Oh and I am sure I will annoy the snot out of any future children in law. I annoy everyone else around me so why would they get away with it? Grin

RhonaRed · 06/08/2021 20:44

To be fair op having read your op that's pretty mean of you!
Chipped paintwork is no big deal really. (Unless you have a personality like my mil. Who is uncompromisingly houseproud😄.)

30degreesandmeltinghere · 06/08/2021 20:46

Tell her she can't visit for a fortnight as you are painting all your paintwork...
She may reconsider her ram raiding. Buy a padlock and chain it up outside.. Maybe get her a Hell's Angel helmet
.

Foxyloxy1plus1 · 06/08/2021 20:47

I think it’s interesting that there are so many threads about MiLs being irritating, annoying or downright unpleasant. I e seen some from MiLs asking advice on how to be a good MiL. It would also be interesting to hear the other side of these stories from them.

luckylavender · 06/08/2021 20:48

@Echobelly - not really sure I'd want anyone to use my hairbrush. It's a bit yuck.

BeyondMyWits · 06/08/2021 21:11

I cannot watch TV with mine, she always comments on people's looks. "Doesn't Donald Trump hold his mouth funny when he talks?"... when what he was saying was disgusting... "doesn't she hold her arm wierd..." yes... she is an amputee... "he has a big nose/funny eye/messy hair"... etc, etc... never anything relevant.

Some despot on the news could be calling for genocide and she'd be asking why he parted his hair that way.

It is infuriating.

WorriedMillie · 06/08/2021 21:13

I have a MIL word bingo. She reads the Daily Mail. The hours just fly by…

littleselda · 06/08/2021 21:19

My mil is generally fine but she has an annoying habit of asking us what we want for gifts (birthday/Christmas etc) and then coming up with 101 excuses why it's not suitable for us, then buying us something completely different Hmm

Mammyofasuperbaby · 06/08/2021 21:30

My mil is very kind and tries her best to be helpful but she is in complete denial about our child's autism, she doesn't listen to us and undermines our parenting of him, which in turn confuses him.
She dotes on him and its sweet but she thinks we are strict with him and nag him to do things (we aren't he just needs constant reminders and consistent rules which he always forgets)
She also randomly gets angry at me for completely insane reasons but thankfully dh puts her in her place and demands that she apologise to me.
Lately she's been nagging us to live with us which we always say no to, she's fine in small doses but the above teamed with her complete lack of home and food hygiene means that she is a health hazard (she posions herself regularly) and we don't think our relationship with her would survive it

Eternallyfrazzled · 06/08/2021 21:42

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at OP's request.

SarahAndQuack · 06/08/2021 22:21

@user1493494961

I imagine most of you will be a MIL yourself one day.
Yes, and I will model myself on the (many) lovely mothers-in-law I know. One of the saddest things about my divorce, for me, was making my lovely ex-mother-in-law sad - she was the nicest woman.
Biscoffin · 06/08/2021 22:36

Mine is usually lovely, until it comes to my parenting choices. She really seems to like telling me I’m making the wrong decisions, or she just ignores my parenting methods altogether.

Noshowwithoutpunch · 06/08/2021 22:50

My Mil will tell us every Christmas and Birthday that her and FIL need to cut back on gifts as they only have a small pension( no need to say anything at all as we do not care about or expect expensive gifts).
Pension stretches to a luxury cruise every year thoughHmm

PostMenWithACat · 06/08/2021 23:02

Oh let's see:

30 Christmases
The SILs who are brilliantly academic - both went to RG universities. Shame neither went to work.
After five miscarriages when I had one child and SIL1 was pg with twins "it's such a relief Suzie can perform".
How much was that - every single thing I may buy
Oh, as you are married and a mother, I don't think you'll need the cleaner any more.
.........."people like your family"
It's marvellous DIL that you are so practical, such a shame you dropped out of university.

Anyone fancy swapping?

BashfulClam · 06/08/2021 23:05

Mine is totally self absorbed. She just talks at us about her and her friends all the time. I bet if I asked her where I worked what I do then she wouldn’t have a clue.

She’d also manipulative and uses DH as a free taxi, meal ticket often. When we didn’t have a car for a short time she cried, who would take her shopping…the bus at the end of the road (she’s perfectly able bodied), a taxi, we’re happy to do an online order…,who would take her meter readings. She has no impairment that prevents her doing this, all the while sobbing and screeching. My DH was suddenly unemployed and we were trying to work out how not to lose our home ffs!

She kept phoning him and saying ‘you should ask Tesco for an application form! Get a mortgage holiday etc. A mortgage holiday would increase our payments later and jobs are now an online process and you can’t just hand in an application and be working in Tesco a week payer.

We didn’t tell her we had a new car for a while as we knew what would happen. One Friday she called ‘can you put credit on my mobile and fix my curtains!’ I suggested we do it that night as we were passing to go to the supermarket (we also offered to get her shopping at that time. She came outside looking passed off and said ‘so you won’t be coming tomorrow? I wanted to go to (local town)’ in other words she wanted to use his as a free taxi. To be fair he put her in her place ‘mum I don’t earn what I did and don’t have money to be running all over in the car!’ Also he was vulnerable due to his autoimmune disease and she demanded he he come inside to fix her curtains (it was one hook that had come loose, she doesn’t close them as she had blinds.) he said ‘I’m not meant to due to Covid…’ she then said’stop being so ridiculous it’s ok if it’s family’ no it’s not. She always tries to manipulate others. She kept forcing us to have his aunt and uncle over to our new house when we barely have any contact with them. ‘They are just desperate to see the house!’ They were embarrassed when we told them and his aunt (who I’d love as mil) said ‘that’s your mother just sticking her nose in as usual’.

We don’t tell her if we’re on annual leave as we used to make that mistake and she’d try and monopolise our time.

The latest one was her covid jab, he had just started at his new full time job and was in training. She demanded he drive her to her appointment during a time he had to be in training . When he said no she cried, screamed, tried to cajole him ‘can you not just take me?’ Over and over, called to demand the bus times and train times and made an utter show of herself. In the end a church volunteer got stuck with her. She couldn’t seem to understand he couldn’t leave his mandatory training at 11am, drive 20 minutes, take her to her appointment, drive back without being in trouble.

This is just some of the things she does but DH had got better at hIs boundaries. Although phantom illnesses come out the woodwork, the ‘shadow on her lung’ that the doctor can’t see on a chest x-Ray, the ‘suspected bowel cancer’ that was wind….

goddessofmischief · 06/08/2021 23:06

MIL could not stop swearing in front of DC. If she was asked to she'd pull a face. Let rip again and when reminded she'd storm out of the room in a strop. Literally "fuck" or "cunt" every other word. Defended her gobshite of a son no matter what awful things he did. Smoked like a chimney with one lung left. She died a couple of years ago but god, I do miss some things about her (pre having kids), she was a character and an absolute education in Scouse Matriarchs. A force to be reckoned with. The first time (then) bf brought me home to meet her she said I was "all fur coat and no knickers" Grin

saraclara · 06/08/2021 23:12

@pinkyredrose

My MIL is quite good with pass-agg. Like, when the kids were small and stayed over with her and we didn't bring a hairbrush (because, y'know, there are hairbrushes as MIL's house) she'd say 'Do you not have a hairbrush?' rather than saying 'Have you brought a hairbrush with?

How is that passive aggressive? Hmm

I wondered that too. It's just a turn of phrase. I probably even use it myself sometimes, and absolutely not in any PA way.
goddessofmischief · 06/08/2021 23:13

"GET DOWN HERE NOW YOU FAT LITTLE CUNT, DINNERS READY" - to her 15 year old son.
"Jesus Mum, I'm coming!"
"DON'T YOU FUCKING TAKE THE LORD'S NAME IN VAIN!"

That one stands out in my memory as a 19 year old who'd been to the house only twice before!

goose1964 · 06/08/2021 23:13

Mine's a lovely lady but unfortunately she has dementia and physical issues so she uses a summer frame. She's also turned very stubborn. We went out for a meal with them a few weeks ago. The conversation was a bit repetitive but when we were leaving she was insisting that she could walk across the carpark to the car even though FIL had told her not to. DH and I had to physically stop her zimmer as she would have been putting herself in danger of being run over.

MaMelon · 06/08/2021 23:14

Because it’s implying that they don’t have hairbrushes - that they haven’t been bought brushes (a failure on the part of the DIL of course, rather than her son)

MaMelon · 06/08/2021 23:15

My last post to saraclara

NameChange74567 · 06/08/2021 23:17

Mine claims to be too unwell to visit our DC, yet will happily walk round to our house on a regular basis to ask for money/cigarettes and leaves literally 5 minutes after. She constantly posts on SM how much she loves them yet never spends any time with them.

Sweetpeasaremadeofcheese · 06/08/2021 23:20

She convinced my SIL that her boyfriend would become less selfish one he was married/had children, because she wanted her daughter to get married and have children. He obviously hasn't improved 🙄