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Original poster

Come and tell me about how your MIL irritates you

130 replies

lagerandblack · 06/08/2021 17:04

I have always got on well with my MIL and still do but she has started to irritate me lately and I wondered if anyone else had any pet peevs with regards to their MIL?
A couple of years ago MIL had a fall and broke her pelvis and ever since she has needed a "walking frame". She feels she cant manage without it and it goes everywhere with her when she leaves the house. So far no problem. However.....
...when she calls in to visit us she pushes the door wide open and then proceeds to ram the "walker" through the door with no thought to our front door or the paint work and then the same routine when she leaves.
If we casually ask her to leave it outside she replies "Ooohh nooo someone will pinch it"
I know, I know I shouldn't be bothered by this and I love her I really do, but my god it just pisses me off.
So I have started parking the car right up to the front door to make it more difficult and hoping she will actually leave it outside.
Please tell me I am not alone and there are other people out there with these irrational irritations?

OP posts:
MinnieMountain · 07/08/2021 07:51

She’s unable to keep personal stuff private. I’ve had a few medical issues she’s unavoidably know about and every time she has told friends and acquaintances despite DH telling her not to.

She’s a Corbyn-it. You can’t have a sensible conversation with her about it.

“DS’s friend isn’t really autistic, it’s his upbringing” was a corker too. Said friend has a one to one TA at school. AND she’s a retired primary school teacher.

Liervik · 07/08/2021 07:53

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ for privacy reasons.

HGC2 · 07/08/2021 08:16

It’s not my mil, it’s my fil that gets me. I’m the breadwinner by a long shot and as a family we have a really good division of childcare and household tasks but he thinks I’m so lucky my dh does so much to help me round the house so I can keep my little job to see my friends
He also is very opinionated and Ive had to learn over the years to just nod

Mayra1367 · 07/08/2021 08:35

Why would you do anything to make it harder for someone with mobility issues?At some time in the future you may be asking for people to show you a little consideration and kindness and you will reflect on your actions .

penguinwithasuitcase · 07/08/2021 08:54

Mine means well. She's very sweet - incredibly scatty and chaotic but DP deals with that side of her and she lives abroad so we don't see her often.

The only thing that gets me is she shows her love entirely through giving gifts –and it's quantity, not quality.

Every time she comes she brings bags and bags of tat –she's a hoarder and it seems she just opens a cupboard at home and fills a suitcase with random items to give to me as 'presents' – which I then have to figure out what to do with once she leaves... because she WILL ask about them next time she's here!

DP has talked to her about it countless times but she just can't help herself.

SeeYouInFive · 07/08/2021 10:15

This nights seem like an obvious question, but have you actually asked her not to bash your door open with the walking frame when she comes in? Maybe suggest that she rings the bell instead of just letting herself in so that you can help clear the way for her entrance (and save your paintwork). I feel like this is a very simple solution, or am I missing something?

As for my own MIL, there are many, many small and petty, ultimately irrelevant things she does that wind me up. But the one trait I find quite disturbing is that she’s very morbid. We were discussing DC2’s swimming lessons the last time she was here and she managed to segue that into a horrific story she’d read in the news about a child drowning. Really put a downer on the mood.

She does this with lots of things. For example, we could be talking about what it would be like to own a Tesla car and she’d pipe up with a story about how her neighbour’s cousin’s post man was decapitated in a freak road traffic accident involving a Tesla.

I find it a bit ghoulish.

FinallyHere · 07/08/2021 10:55

she is getting much worse at listening

Took me ages to realise that DM was getting profoundly deaf. I'm sorry that I never made that connection until she really was very old. We had just got used to DM never listening to anyone else and just telling her own anecdotes in a loud voice.

NotRainingToday · 07/08/2021 11:56

@Budsaway

My mil is lovely, have never had any issues with her at all.

Her stories though - Oh do you know Jack, you do he is Martha's brothers wife, well yesterday I was walking to the shop to get sausages and met Paul, you know Paul, John's sister. There weren't the sausages that I usually buy at the shop so I went to the butchers instead and then stopped at the bakery and had a cream cake it was lovely. Do you remember the cream cakes Hugos bakery used to sell? And on and on until we eventually circle back to Paul who told her that Jack is dead. We don't know Paul or Jack or Martha and the story has taken about 15mins and 20 detours while we sit there and nod. Then off she goes again with another story about people we have never met and have zero interest in and have probably died.

Ha! My MIL is exactly the same. Her favourite long story is about a lady called Mrs Hayes and all her extended family and the tedious detail of their daily lives. MIL used to help with care for Mrs Hayes, who died before I met DH. In 1996. In fact most of the extended family are dead now. Neither I nor DH have ever met any of them.
pinkyredrose · 07/08/2021 12:24

being convinced that Sunday is the first day of the week and if you don't agree you are wrong

But she's right, Sunday IS the first day of the week!

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 07/08/2021 12:46

@pinkyredrose

being convinced that Sunday is the first day of the week and if you don't agree you are wrong

But she's right, Sunday IS the first day of the week!

🤣

hello MIL!

pinkyredrose · 07/08/2021 13:00

I'm not Mil Grin but surely everyone knows that the week starts on Sunday?! That's how it was taught when i was at school anyway, a few yrs ago. Wink

feb2022 · 07/08/2021 13:08

Could you not get her to ring you 5 mins before she arrives and prop the door open for her?
And do the same when she leaves?

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 07/08/2021 13:15

@pinkyredrose

I'm not Mil Grin but surely everyone knows that the week starts on Sunday?! That's how it was taught when i was at school anyway, a few yrs ago. Wink
that depends on what country you grew up in.

in Hungary the week starts on Monday.🤷‍♀️
I accept that for MIL it isn't so and it grates that she doesn't extend the same courtesy. she is unableto agree to disagree.
because neither of us are ultimately wrong or right.
it's just different point of views

Knotswapper · 07/08/2021 13:19

DD is nearly 19. My ex-MIL doesn't know how to spell her name. It's 4 letters.

Witchesbelazy · 07/08/2021 13:47

Obvious favouritism between grandchildren , Once all of the cousins caught a sickness bug bit of course mine were nowhere near as bad as golden gc it’s a lot worse for them .

prettyteapotsplease · 07/08/2021 13:56

My late MIL was a very intense character, very 'in your face' which I found difficult as I like my own space. Moody, domineering and unpredictable too.

She had her favourites - if she liked you she'd give you the shirt off her back, otherwise you may as well not exist. No prizes for guessing which camp I belonged to.

GoodbyeToCare · 07/08/2021 14:14

My MiL is incredibly hard work and has got worse as she's got older. Now she has dementia and it's amplified her rudeness, her selfishness and nasty streak massively. She only had a thin filter before and now it's gone completely.

I wouldn't wish dementia on anyone but I do my best to avoid spending time with her.

Wingingit573 · 07/08/2021 14:24

Mine speaks to me like I'm stupid even though I'm not, She'll say a word and then look at me and smile sweetly, spell the word and explain what it means - She's often wrong on the spelling and the meaning and I find it highly amusing. Grin

BiBabbles · 07/08/2021 14:37

My MIL used to tell the same stories over and over. I used to get really irritated by it until I once saw my spouse in the kitchen, in tears, upset at how his mother had changed and that I'd never gotten to meet how she 'really was' (I met her when she was 53 so I hadn't jumped to mental decline but it was obvious to my spouse after having spent a year away).

She'd also come out with things that were pretty nasty - like how immigrants should have to celebrate Christmas (to me, an immigrant who doesn't celebrate Christmas). It was upsetting, but it's hard to say what was really her thoughts and what was mental decline. We had a few rough years as we got used to each other and I learned more about her conditions.

Having used a walker, with some types, it can be hard to see the ground or walls in front of you - I banged a wall or two in my time - and when you don't feel as strong as you used to, it can be hard to estimate how much strength you need to get over thresholds or similar. My MIL used a walker the entire time I knew her, and when coming in our place, we met her at the door, and one of us would take it and put it wherever she felt it was safest (usually the room we were in) and then we'd take it out when she left. Saved us all stress at the door which tended to be most awkward part. In the final few years, we only met at pubs and similar if not in her house, she found other people's homes stressful as obviously her home was all adapted for her use.

HazelBite · 07/08/2021 14:57

I find these MIL threads distasteful, how about starting a thread about awful DIL's or SIL's!!
What is annoying is not one of us is truly "perfect" and I'm sure if you asked any of our nearest and dearest they could list all of our irritating foibles, and I'm sure that most of the contributors to this thread have some.
(I am a MIL and I've had a very "challenging" MIL, but as I said none of us are perfect!)

Towerofjoyless · 07/08/2021 14:58

When others are having a conversation, MIL will jump in with random facts based on one particular word she hears being said. One Xmas day she cornered me in the kitchen streaming off said random facts, all of which had no connection to each other. I ran off and left her standing there by herself as she was too close for comfort. MIL never washes or brushes her teeth so don't like her that close to me.

She also 'freezes' people out if they annoyed her in the slightest way and ignores them. I've heard her many times in the past bitching about people who are meant to be her friends, while using them for various things. Made me wonder what she was saying about me behind my back, have been wary of her for years.

Refused to believe it when we told her DD potentially had additional needs, she screamed at us that we were wrong and from that point proceeded to point out various things DD said or did, while loudly proclaiming, "Look! That's NORMAL!"

TurquoiseDragon · 07/08/2021 20:29

@pinkyredrose

being convinced that Sunday is the first day of the week and if you don't agree you are wrong

But she's right, Sunday IS the first day of the week!

Sunday is the last day of the week, you know, at the week END.

After all, God made the world in 6 days and rested on the 7th, aka Sunday, last day of the week.

My late MIL was the type to do the endless stories. Wasn't very demonstrative in her affectiions, she'd do stuff for people instead as a way of showing she cared.

Seriously wish she was still here, and it was my ex who'd died in 2013. As it is, ex died last year, but his mum was so, so much better than him and never deserved such an arsehole as her son.

maddiemookins16mum · 07/08/2021 20:34

For years I thought Sunday was the first day of the week 🤣🤣. Then I started working in travel/flights, all our flight manifest codes for Monday began with a 1, all the Sundays ended 7. So the LGW/FAO10 was the first Gatwick to Faro on a Monday.

Sugarplumfairy65 · 07/08/2021 20:42

I've seen some nasty fuckers on here over the years, but you top them.
Your mil is disabled, needs to use a walking frame, yet you insist she leaves it outside in case she scratches your precious paintwork? You need to give your head a wobble. What a cuntish way to behave!

Harlechh · 07/08/2021 20:49

What a horrid thread. My MIL died when my eldest was two. We didn’t always see eye to eye but I would love to have her in our lives still. As for stopping an elderly person from having access to her walking frame while in the same breath saying how much you love her…?!

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