Come and tell me about how your MIL irritates you

[lagerandblack]

I have always got on well with my MIL and still do but she has started to irritate me lately and I wondered if anyone else had any pet peevs with regards to their MIL?
A couple of years ago MIL had a fall and broke her pelvis and ever since she has needed a "walking frame". She feels she cant manage without it and it goes everywhere with her when she leaves the house. So far no problem. However.....
...when she calls in to visit us she pushes the door wide open and then proceeds to ram the "walker" through the door with no thought to our front door or the paint work and then the same routine when she leaves.
If we casually ask her to leave it outside she replies "Ooohh nooo someone will pinch it"
I know, I know I shouldn't be bothered by this and I love her I really do, but my god it just pisses me off.
So I have started parking the car right up to the front door to make it more difficult and hoping she will actually leave it outside.
Please tell me I am not alone and there are other people out there with these irrational irritations?

My MIL would say some stupid lie and then keep repeating it like it would become true.
We went to stay with her when DD was very tiny. She was up 3-4 times in the night before getting up at 5.30am. MIL gets up at 11am and then keeps going on that DD had also just got up at 11am AND had slept through the night. Kept saying it even though I was continually correcting her. ‘Well you can’t say you’re tired you’ve had a full night’s sleep’ etc etc
She then told every relative that came and I had to tell each of them the truth (one of his aunties was a bit worried a newborn would sleep that much).
It was like that for everything though. Exhausting.

Well I can’t as she’s been dead 11 years however SIL is annoying and high maintenance.

MY MILis delightful, unfailingly generous and kind and understands me well but she’s so persnickety in double checking obvious things and faffing for no reason. Oh and she can’t tell a story in under ten minutes! I love her though

@lagerandblack

Our door is open for her always, she just wont leave the walker outside or in the garage.

Because she feels safe is why. Wait until you are older and have pain and need help in some way. It comes to us all.

She licks her finger before turning a page, fine when it's her own book but when it is one I've lent her it gives me the icks

Mine was a pure lady. I lost my mum at 16 and she replaced her. I married her only son. We adopted children and she was a fantastic gm. The day we handed her our adopted son at 6 weeks was like she had won the lottery. I hope my dil see me the same way. So lucky they both have come into my life.

the worst things I can think of are:

• the "I'm so busy" stealth boasting thing.

no, you are not busy, you choose to fill your day with stuff you don't actually have to do because your generation thinks that relaxing is a sin

• being convinced that Sunday is the first day of the week and if you don't agree you are wrong.

and that's just one example of her refusing to accept or at least tolerate any opinions different from her. also she takes any disagreement personally and sulks. it's fucking ridiculous.

• endlessly going on about uninteresting shit that happened to people I don't know

• being so bloody gullible and supporting her argument with "because I read that on the Internet/my friend said so"

• propaganda food/books/supplements she pushes on us (I know it's because she truly cares and believes these things will help but grrrr, I hate unsolicited advice!)

• MILsplaining

BUT I have to add that all the positive stuff about her far outweighs everything that's irritating, annoying & frustrating.
She's an incredibly loving, caring & generous person and I love her a lot.
If I end up just half as good a MIL and only twice as bad I will have done brilliantly!

My MIL is an absolute angel. It's my mother who is the nightmare. Textbook engulfing narcissist with the emotional maturity of a toddler.

Mind just exists which is annoying

She thinks she's my age. Competing with me for stuff. Jealousy is there too and if I buy something she will want it too. SIL is the same. They'll make hubby pay for it. They're both really entitled and manipulative too. Ohh and I hate the weird poses she does with FIL too...it's like put it away love put it away...it's like seeing your parents having sex...

My deceased mil said the first meal we had ( with my dh 4 siblings ) “you don’t eat much for such a big girl “
I was a size 12 at that point 😭

Mine constantly reminds me of her other granddaughters birthdays. This starts at least 3 months before honestly, phone calls, video calls and in person every.damn.visit. I flipped the other day and asked her if she reminds them of our kids birthdays and she said she did not. And yes they always forget, never send a card. I don't forget their birthdays and I don't need reminding arghhhhhhhhhh

@smileandsmilessooooo

Mine constantly reminds me of her other granddaughters birthdays. This starts at least 3 months before honestly, phone calls, video calls and in person every.damn.visit. I flipped the other day and asked her if she reminds them of our kids birthdays and she said she did not. And yes they always forget, never send a card. I don't forget their birthdays and I don't need reminding arghhhhhhhhhh

This seems to be a pattern with some mothers. I know my mother was exactly like this with me because she favoured her other grandchildren. There must be a put down to cut her short but I can't think of one or I would have used it.

@lagerandblack pop some of those pipe insulators on the legs of her walker - job done.

I'm not married but my DPs mum dusts everywhere, every single day. Not so much of an issue but she's totally obsessed with it.

She's a lovely woman so I can let this go but it bothers me that she looks for dust in others houses.

Same with mine. Constant reminders about BILs/SIL/DNs because ‘we always forget’. We have never forgotten.
I’ve not had a card from BIL/SIL in 20 years, let alone a present but MIL would not believe that as ‘SIL is so good with these things’ (she is with her family).

Mine is a bit of a homophobic catholic and thought her daughter had given up on “all that sinning” so has had a bit of a difficult time adjusting to me.

Her family all complimented her new haircut but when she said I’d suggested it her mum suddenly decided she preferred it the way it was before (‘it was more you”). If she declines to come for dinner her mum assumes it’s my fault and reminds her solemnly that she can come home anytime.
It also feels sometimes as if she’s testing me to prove she knows her best like asking if I know her favourite childhood food, who was her childhood best friend etc and looking endlessly smug if I didn’t know it.
It can be wearing but I just try remind myself that my partner is lucky to have a parent who loves them a lot.

My mil is lovely, have never had any issues with her at all.

Her stories though - Oh do you know Jack, you do he is Martha's brothers wife, well yesterday I was walking to the shop to get sausages and met Paul, you know Paul, John's sister. There weren't the sausages that I usually buy at the shop so I went to the butchers instead and then stopped at the bakery and had a cream cake it was lovely. Do you remember the cream cakes Hugos bakery used to sell? And on and on until we eventually circle back to Paul who told her that Jack is dead. We don't know Paul or Jack or Martha and the story has taken about 15mins and 20 detours while we sit there and nod. Then off she goes again with another story about people we have never met and have zero interest in and have probably died.

I think the issue is that you see the walking frame as akin to a vehicle: it exists to convey her from one place to another, whereas she sees it as more like an extension of her person, as it supports her body weight and helps her feel confident as she walks.

Might explain why it seems off (and it does) to want to put it into the garage.

@pinkyredrose

My MIL is quite good with pass-agg. Like, when the kids were small and stayed over with her and we didn't bring a hairbrush (because, y'know, there are hairbrushes as MIL's house) she'd say 'Do you not have a hairbrush?' rather than saying 'Have you brought a hairbrush with?

How is that passive aggressive?

Yeah, I’d find it a bit odd if someone purposefully didn’t bring a hairbrush.

If it was forgotten by accident fine these things easily happen but to expect to use someone else’s and just not bother is a bit odd.

@PizzaPiePizzaPie

Same with mine. Constant reminders about BILs/SIL/DNs because ‘we always forget’. We have never forgotten. I’ve not had a card from BIL/SIL in 20 years, let alone a present but MIL would not believe that as ‘SIL is so good with these things’ (she is with her family).

Every time she brings up a reminder, say ‘it would be so useful if you could remind Bil/Sil when ours are coming up, they forgot last time you know’.

Repeat every time.

Mine has been begging to look after our girls since lockdown so I asked if she could help us in these 6 weeks (only 3 days in total) she has been late every time meaning I've been late to work. Not worth the hassle, she still works so she knows I have to be there on time, super irritating. Also they bring the dog with them every time they come to see us and it makes my house stink.

Dh did amazingly well and got to Cambridge from a bog standard state entirely on his own merits neither of his parents educated beyond 16. His younger brother (mils favourite) applied too but didn’t get in. Mil told me recently that the only reason he didn’t get in was that Dh had taken his spot as Cambridge only allow one child per family! I was too 😮 to set her straight!

My MIL is the most wonderful woman BUT she is getting much worse at listening which is really annoying.

Mine is flippin amazing, we’re all moving in together this month as she’s getting frail (and her memory has changed a lot in the last 6 months).
She is going to have the ground floor extention in our new house). Very, very little irritates me about her, she’s a legend and I adore her and we all very much want and need her in our lives for as long as possible.

Oh, she’s 91.