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Original poster

Rude kid or am I too sensitive?

114 replies

Wanderinstar80 · 05/08/2021 16:22

So DD age 6 had her classmate over for a playdate. We live in an affluent area but in the smaller houses in the area. DDs friend lives in a larger house. She is very chatty and commented that we "need to move house, your kitchen is tiny and you only have two bedrooms". She was also questioning us on where we sit to eat as no room anywhere for a dining table.

I felt like saying "it's rude to comment on how other people live" but instead said that moving house requires a magical element called money.

We definitely do need to move, we have a DD and DS sharing a room atm but it won't happen for a few more years as I'm a student so nowt we can do about it just now. I was annoyed at the comment but am I just being too sensitive?

OP posts:

Elouera · 05/08/2021 16:24

She is 6!

Thesearmsofmine · 05/08/2021 16:25

6 year olds can be a bit blunt. I would just forget about it.

SleepingStandingUp · 05/08/2021 16:27

She wasn't rude, she was factual. You do need to move house, you only have two bedrooms and i expect you'd love a bigger kitchen.

Now ot might not be ok to day this out loud as an adult but if shes phrased it like that, i wouldn't consider it rude from a young child and it didn't really warrant your snarky response. She's 6.

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RubyFakeLips · 05/08/2021 16:28

She's 6, ignore and just hope your DD never says anything out of turn.

brizzlewizzle · 05/08/2021 16:29

I was told by a three year at that she had seen my kitchen tiles before - at the dump!

Winemewhynot · 05/08/2021 16:30

I think your being a bit precious, she’s 6 she’s being inquisitive not rude.

stellaisabella · 05/08/2021 16:31

She's 6. Chill out.

Winemewhynot · 05/08/2021 16:32

Also, where do you all eat if you don’t have a table?!

Thesearmsofmine · 05/08/2021 16:33

@brizzlewizzle

I was told by a three year at that she had seen my kitchen tiles before - at the dump!

WTFuckery · 05/08/2021 16:35

@Winemewhynot

Also, where do you all eat if you don’t have a table?!

Im going to guess on their lap in the living room like many many other households have to do.

Original poster

Wanderinstar80 · 05/08/2021 16:43

Thanks for your replies all. Yes I think I was definitely too sensitive! I wouldn't say our kitchen is too small, especially as the house I grew up in had a kitchen a third of the size of my current one. But wouldn't say no to a new one!

WTFuckery we do sit with dinner on our laps. A dining room would be nice when we do finally move on.

Sorry brizzlewizzle but that made me laugh!

OP posts:

Wearywithteens · 05/08/2021 16:49

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

ExpressDelivery · 05/08/2021 16:52

You've said yourself you do need to move. I don't think a 6yo saying what she sees can ge considered rude. You could even say she was showing empathy for her friend sharing a bedroom and having nowhere suitable to eat.

Obviously an adult should keep it to themselves, but a 6yo?

Anoisagusaris · 05/08/2021 16:53

She’s just a child.

I wouldn’t even mention money in that situation. Just say people live in all types of homes and isn’t it nice to visit different types of houses.

Feather12 · 05/08/2021 16:54

I don’t see that as “being factual” (except the question about the dining table). I am honestly surprised that a six year old would even notice the bedroom situation, or comment on “needing” to move. It is not necessarily rude, but she has heard things like that somewhere, most kids notice the cool new toys or what they had to eat when they are at other people’s houses.

LammasFires · 05/08/2021 16:55

She’s 6, basing her observations on what she knows.
Not having a dining table, or a room for each child is a surprise to a child who’s not known anything but.
We’ve only got one bathroom and a 14” TV which surprised a number of DC’s friends.

PotteringAlong · 05/08/2021 16:55

When they were 5 the boy who is now my eldest DS’s best friend looked at the wooden floors in my hall and said in all seriousness “Is this because you cannot afford carpets?”.

6 year olds are blunt: I think you are being over sensitive because they have hit a nerve.

GingerFigs · 05/08/2021 16:57

I think it's rude. Yes she's 6 and making the blunt observations that 6 year olds do but the phrasing is rather snobbish which suggests she is parroting adults. I'd be embarrassed if that was my child. Not surprised you feel a bit sensitive!

SarahAndQuack · 05/08/2021 16:58

I think it's perfectly fine to say what you said about money. I might have said something like 'well, people can afford different things and this is what we can afford right now' rather than the 'magic' bit, but that's more because I am not sure a six year old would understand what you were trying to say.

I think it's good to be direct with children about this stuff. I remember the mum of one of my school friends doing an absolutely cringey routine with her daughter explaining 'I expect Sarah's parents love their car and they would miss it if they sold it' when her daughter had asked why my dad didn't buy something that wasn't rusting. It was awful: I was perfectly well aware dad was 1) pushed for money just then and 2) tight as a duck's arse, but it's much worse when adults pretend a situation isn't what it is.

ExpressDelivery · 05/08/2021 16:59

If OP says they need to move at home, it's entirely possible that the "snob" the child has heard it from is OP's daughter.

Hardbackwriter · 05/08/2021 17:03

I felt like saying "it's rude to comment on how other people live" but instead said that moving house requires a magical element called money.

I think your first option would have been absolutely fine as a thing to say, but that what you actually went for was unnecessarily sarcastic and so a bit mean. Can you really not be the bigger person with a 6 year old?! It would be fine to gently point out that her comments were a bit personal but I doubt they were made in malice. And I don't think, unlike many posters, that her parents must have made snobby comments to make her say this - I think it's far more likely that they've just explained their own or someone else's move as happening because 'they needed to move because the old house was too small' and she doesn't yet understand that not everyone can afford to do the same.

AlmostSummer21 · 05/08/2021 17:04

She's 6. They're not exactly known for their tact 🤣. There really was no need to mention money, they have no concept of the sums of money involved in buying houses. Why didn't you just say you all like your cosy house or yes, it would be nice to move to a bigger house. She's six - no need for snarky replies.

Lindy2 · 05/08/2021 17:04

6 year olds don't really have a concept of money and value. Things they need just appear as far as they're concerned as adults provide them.

She observed that you could do with more space so suggested you move somewhere bigger.

Kids that age are not at all diplomatic and are downright blunt. I doubt she understood that it was rather a rude comment.

HmmmmmmInteresting · 05/08/2021 17:05

Out of the mouths of babes....

I can understand why you were irked, OP. My DC once had a friend who was so materialistic that I was actually gobsmacked. They were about 8 at the time. He didn't say anything about our house but kept boasting about the things he had: his toys, his shoes ... I didn't even know an eight year old would think shoes are something to boast about.
Then I met his dad and it was very clear why the poor kid was like that. I've never seen somebody boast so much in my life. I honestly wonder how he has got to the age he is without someone throttling him.

HmmmmmmInteresting · 05/08/2021 17:07

@brizzlewizzle

I was told by a three year at that she had seen my kitchen tiles before - at the dump!

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