Rude kid or am I too sensitive?

[Wanderinstar80]

So DD age 6 had her classmate over for a playdate. We live in an affluent area but in the smaller houses in the area. DDs friend lives in a larger house. She is very chatty and commented that we "need to move house, your kitchen is tiny and you only have two bedrooms". She was also questioning us on where we sit to eat as no room anywhere for a dining table.

I felt like saying "it's rude to comment on how other people live" but instead said that moving house requires a magical element called money.

We definitely do need to move, we have a DD and DS sharing a room atm but it won't happen for a few more years as I'm a student so nowt we can do about it just now. I was annoyed at the comment but am I just being too sensitive?

Thanks for all the replies. I'll admit what I said was probably a bit mean and that the comments hit a nerve.

Unfortunately there is a bit of an attitude of being better than others around here eg several years ago one of the parents at DCs school said (not aimed directly at me) that the side of the main road that our home is on is the 'wrong' side of the road . I grew up in a high rise in a deprived inner city area so snobby attitudes can rile me at times, especially as there is nothing 'wrong' in the slightest with our side of the road. It is still very nice, just smaller and cheaper homes!

I think we all live in fear of our small children saying something in this vein to people!

If it's a one off (and given she's 6) I'd just let it go and also not assume she's picked anything untoward up from her parents unless other things indicate this.

If she had overheard anything, for all you know her own parents could have been idly lamenting their own lack of space at home and musing about moving!

We have a quite large detached 4 bed. One of my DC has commented before that our house is tiny and all his friends have much bigger houses. Absolutely not true. There are some bigger houses not too far away but only one friend lives there.

Said DC also talks about how we are poor because I won't buy him whatever he has set his heart on that week.

I tend to ignore it. He'll work out he's a very fortunate child in due course. Hopefully it'll mean he'll work hard to get a good job when he's older as clearly our lifestyle is substandard!

If children are going to be encouraged to talk to adults rather than taking a "children should be seen and not heard" attitude, then we need to accept that they are conversationalists-in-training and will occasionally be tactless or get it wrong. Many adults are crass, tactless or (worse) deliberately boastful or hurtful. You can't expect children to manage always to be mindful of others' feelings... that's something they will hopefully learn with more life experience. That means being breezy and matter-of-fact when they get it wrong, while maybe gently correcting them without crushing them and making them feel that they've done a terrible thing by being tactless. I don't hold it against my own DC when they're rude and ungrateful (I correct the behaviour in an appropriate way and move on). Why would I show less tolerance to a visiting child in a strange house who might just be trying their tactless best to find something to say.

Seriously how do you eat without a table?

@Feather12

I don’t see that as “being factual” (except the question about the dining table). I am honestly surprised that a six year old would even notice the bedroom situation, or comment on “needing” to move. It is not necessarily rude, but she has heard things like that somewhere, most kids notice the cool new toys or what they had to eat when they are at other people’s houses.

I agree with this.

We "only" have 2 bedrooms and a small kitchen with no dining room and despite having 2 kids, have no intention of moving. It's only fairly recently that kids were seen to need their own rooms and in previous generations sharing with multiple siblings was normal.

The child has very likely heard comments from adults and is repeating them. Doesn't stop it being rude.

My son had a play date with a 6 year old fairly recently who was aghast that I didn't have a downstairs toilet! And that I didn't dilute his orange juice like his mummy did. I'm afraid I judged him internally as being a stuck-up little twerp.

Meh she’s a kid, when you start taking offence at six year olds then take a step back and ask if they hit a nerve.

NoKnit we just empty our food out on to the floor and rip into it like the savages that we are

we just empty our food out on to the floor and rip into it like the savages that we are

😂 So glad your answered that shitty post.

Superman indeed, that's the type of post that the phrase "only on MN" was invented for.

@Wanderinstar80

NoKnit we just empty our food out on to the floor and rip into it like the savages that we are

🤣🤣🤣🤣

I was told by a child, that our house wasn't very nice outside, terraced street, but it was lovely inside!

@NoKnit

Seriously how do you eat without a table?

Seriously, you need to work on your manners

When my DD1’s friend first came round (they were 6/7 I think) she got to the top of the stairs, did a 360 turn on the tiny landing (two bedrooms and a bathroom) and said

“Where’s the rest of your house?”

😳🤣

@Wanderinstar80

NoKnit we just empty our food out on to the floor and rip into it like the savages that we are

Children especially 6 year olds don’t think about being rude or tactful, they literally just say what they see.

I used to cringe when my DD walked past someone who was in a wheelchair, a dwarf or had one leg etc as she was never rude but I’d always worry she’d just ask loudly why that man only had one leg.
I’ve had lots of comments from her friends about how my top doesn’t go with my trousers, why is my hair wet (i hadn’t washed it for a couple days), why I don’t have a bf, why have I put black make up under my eyes etc.
How I miss those days

I feel sorry for primary school teachers!!

Where’s the rest of your house?”

@Winemewhynot - u sound as bad as the kid, it’s a shame you’re not 6 and are just rude.

@NoKnit wow another rude one.

Had this with my DS's friend who commented on how small our house was... had to agree...it was definitely smaller than nearly all our friend's houses. He was just being factual. Didn't find it particularly rude though it did make me wonder what comments my DS had made in other people's homes

[quote Parentingdilemmas]@Winemewhynot - u sound as bad as the kid, it’s a shame you’re not 6 and are just rude.[/quote]
Exactly what was rude about my posts?

we just empty our food out on to the floor and rip into it like the savages that we are

Great comeback 😂😂

My daughter's 6 year old friend asked me why my kitchen was so small. I said it was how the house was built but do think an element of it came from her mum (5 bed detached house)

She is just 6. She just said what she thought. Most 6 year olds don't have a filter.

I had to tell my 6 year old not to comment on the size of other peoples houses the first time he went to his friends house smaller than ours (and ours is by no means massive) as I just knew he would think it and say it in one go.