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Original poster

Rude kid or am I too sensitive?

114 replies

Wanderinstar80 · 05/08/2021 16:22

So DD age 6 had her classmate over for a playdate. We live in an affluent area but in the smaller houses in the area. DDs friend lives in a larger house. She is very chatty and commented that we "need to move house, your kitchen is tiny and you only have two bedrooms". She was also questioning us on where we sit to eat as no room anywhere for a dining table.

I felt like saying "it's rude to comment on how other people live" but instead said that moving house requires a magical element called money.

We definitely do need to move, we have a DD and DS sharing a room atm but it won't happen for a few more years as I'm a student so nowt we can do about it just now. I was annoyed at the comment but am I just being too sensitive?

OP posts:
LabiaMinoraPissusFlapus · 05/08/2021 21:46

I don't think a 6 year old would even notice this, I expect she has heard this from snobby adults!

lollipoprainbow · 05/08/2021 21:51

I personally find it rude and would be annoyed, my dd wouldn't dream of saying anything like that. She had a play date once with a girl from school who jumped all over my sofa, said we had a small house and opened my fridge and said we didn't have much food! She wasn't invited again.

Twobirdsinatree · 05/08/2021 21:58

Yes shes rude but she's also 6 years old!! They just say what pops into their heads! I took my 6yo some round ti a friends house once and when we were leaving he said 'I didnt have a good time because I dont like it here and he doesnt have any good toys' in front of the friend and his father. I was mortified and apologised and told my son off aboit how rude he was... but the thing is its just what they do at that age they say whatever they think.. they dont know how to lie to spare peoples feelings yet. So yes they are rude but uts not like an adult is rude they dont really understand the implications of what they are saying and how it might hurt someone yet.. so its not malicious.
That being said you would be well within your rights to have told the child that what she said was very rude... I would have done. But dont take it personally shes only 6.

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Parentingdilemmas · 05/08/2021 22:02

@Winemewhynot - not everybody has a dining table, yet they can still manage to eat. It was a daft question to ask.

caoixr · 05/08/2021 22:06

How would the child know it is rude to say that though?

Only adults hold value judgements, kids will just comment on what is different to their lived experience so far, if they find it unusual.

What if she had said, wow your house is so big! Would you be posting on here?

Winemewhynot · 05/08/2021 22:06

@Parentingdilemmas obviously they still eat 🙄 still don’t understand why you think it’s rude to ask where, I was genuinely curious! Projecting much!

LovelyLovelyWarmCoffee · 05/08/2021 22:16

I remember once asking my mum’s friend why she lived in a rathole Blush not sure what got into me, and I think I must have realized I said something bad as the memory of this moment stuck with me. Still ashamed now. But at the time I was genuinely wondering why she chose to live there.

LovelyLovelyWarmCoffee · 05/08/2021 22:19

@LabiaMinoraPissusFlapus

I don't think a 6 year old would even notice this, I expect she has heard this from snobby adults!
See my post above, my parents never said a bad word about this woman, she was my mum’s best friend and they never commented on her financial situation or house. I was all just me.
Parentingdilemmas · 05/08/2021 22:24

@Winemewhynot - It was undermining the OP. People all over the world eat without a dining table. You sounded like a snob.

SmallChairs · 05/08/2021 22:24

[quote Winemewhynot]@Parentingdilemmas obviously they still eat 🙄 still don’t understand why you think it’s rude to ask where, I was genuinely curious! Projecting much![/quote]
OK, imagine you don’t have a dining table, a breakfast bar or a kitchen table in your house. Where might you eat?

Comedycook · 05/08/2021 22:26

We had a visiting child express absolute shock that we only had one car.

Tinpotspectator · 05/08/2021 22:29

Kids that young just comment on what they see. That's a fact. They don't know it's rude. If she were 10, that would be different.

LittleOverWhelmed · 05/08/2021 22:44

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

LammasFires · 05/08/2021 22:53

The easy solution is no more play dates at home.
Meet somewhere neutral, where you won’t feel so defensive.

AlmostSummer21 · 05/08/2021 23:09

@NoKnit

Seriously how do you eat without a table?
Most people prefer cutlery
NowEvenBetter · 05/08/2021 23:11

@Winemewhynot

Also, where do you all eat if you don’t have a table?!
How can people eat if they do not have a specific room, and furniture to dine on? What horror! 😱😱😱 Fuck sake. 🙄
NowEvenBetter · 05/08/2021 23:12

Oh christ, there’s more than one of them. Wow. Have a think about people who do not want/or have a specific room/furniture to dine from, where do you think they may dine? Really exercise your brain. Go on.

Winemewhynot · 05/08/2021 23:56

Oh dear obviously touched a nerve here with some 😂 I just find it strange that a family eat their meals off their laps! Uni students eating a pot noodle yes, but surely you can find space for a fold away table so the kids can eat properly Confused

NowEvenBetter · 06/08/2021 00:15

Nah, you’re not that noteworthy, don’t worry. As I said, have a think. Really try. I’m cringing for you 😁

jezzyj · 06/08/2021 01:04

I'm also a student with boy and girl in a 2 bed flat, and in a decent area. I really don't think the girl was rude, it's just different for her and she's chatty so thinking out loud

I wouldn't be harsh and call her rude but just express you like your place/it's cosy/not everyone can have a big house etc

Houseofvelour · 06/08/2021 01:16

I remember being about that age and I was walking past a neighbour's house to go play at my friend's house. The neighbour was gardening in front of her house and I asked "why do your kids go to the school near the park? That's the naughty school!" 😂🙈
Kid’s have no filter. I honestly wouldn't give it a second thought.

Wearywithteens · 06/08/2021 01:25

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

mathanxiety · 06/08/2021 01:30

She put you on the spot, but that's six year olds for you.

I was asked how babies come out of you and how do they get in there in the first place by a six year old friend of a DD one afternoon.

Hannsmum · 06/08/2021 01:38

@GingerFigs

I think it's rude. Yes she's 6 and making the blunt observations that 6 year olds do but the phrasing is rather snobbish which suggests she is parroting adults. I'd be embarrassed if that was my child. Not surprised you feel a bit sensitive!
100 percent this. Couldn't have said it any better
Yaya26 · 06/08/2021 01:53

I wouldn't be offended shes 6. My daughters friend regularly comments on how messy my car is. I have agree with her.

My sons (6) went to their friends house for first time last week. One of them told me in amazement that their friends house is "even messier than ours" I was delighted. 😂 I'm quite sure he meant untidy as opposed to dirty. I told him of course it was - Busy house - 4 kids and parents both work full time.