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Original poster

Rude kid or am I too sensitive?

114 replies

Wanderinstar80 · 05/08/2021 16:22

So DD age 6 had her classmate over for a playdate. We live in an affluent area but in the smaller houses in the area. DDs friend lives in a larger house. She is very chatty and commented that we "need to move house, your kitchen is tiny and you only have two bedrooms". She was also questioning us on where we sit to eat as no room anywhere for a dining table.

I felt like saying "it's rude to comment on how other people live" but instead said that moving house requires a magical element called money.

We definitely do need to move, we have a DD and DS sharing a room atm but it won't happen for a few more years as I'm a student so nowt we can do about it just now. I was annoyed at the comment but am I just being too sensitive?

OP posts:

Topseyt · 05/08/2021 17:07

Yes, it is rude. Even if she is only 6. I think that telling her so in the way you were tempted to would have been fine. A lesson she hopefully wouldn't forget.

I doubt that she is being intentionally rude. She has heard adults speaking similarly and knows no different. No harm in learning though. Then there is a chance that she will learn not to sound like a judgmental and snobby little shit.

JustLoveYourselfALittle · 05/08/2021 17:08

She was saying what she saw.
We used to have a flat and ds friend around that age said we should have a garden.
I just said you're very lucky to have one and we'd have one some day. Everyone has diff things

ElizaDoolots · 05/08/2021 17:13

Wow. Kids are savage 😂

Don’t take it personally OP.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families

Hardbackwriter · 05/08/2021 17:13

I think I'm.biased because I made quite a similar, tactless comment at around the same age - I told my best friend's mother, very excitedly, that the house next to us was for sale and that they should move there and when she asked why I said 'so that I can play with Jane everyday and so she doesn't have to share a bedroom with Mary'. It was immediately obvious that what I'd said was very wrong and my mum was furious but didn't really explain why so it took me quite a while longer to realise why what I'd said was rude. It would have been much better if someone had explained it clearly but realising that I didn't mean it nastily at the time. I don't think, incidentally, that I grew up to be a 'judgemental and snobby little shit' because I didn't understand the housing market when I was 6. I have grown up to not be the sort of person who calls small children 'little shits' which I think is a win in and of itself.

itsgettingwierd · 05/08/2021 17:16

@Wearywithteens

“She wasn't rude, she was factual. You do need to move house, you only have two bedrooms and i expect you'd love a bigger kitchen.”

That’s not what a 6 year old should be saying to an adult. Where does a 6 year old get those ideas anyway? My kids played with large families in cramped council flats and the thought would never have entered their heads. If you don’t think that is rudeness then you and your values are the problem.

YANBU op - she is parroting snob values from her parents so it would not be right to be cross with her but it is certainly insufferable having such a young child talk to you like that - it’s not surprising that you were irked.

Agree.

I don't where where we went about turn in society that people now think it's 'normal' for 6yo to be commenting on adults choices of home or what they provide etc.

Batshittery · 05/08/2021 17:17

@brizzlewizzle

I was told by a three year at that she had seen my kitchen tiles before - at the dump!

Harsh!

OP, I wouldn't think anything of it. At 6 DC speak without a filter.

Prettybubblesintheair · 05/08/2021 17:18

She’s 6, what exactly do you want to do? Have it out with her? Pull her up on it? Tilt your head to one side and say “did you mean to be so rude” followed by a tinkly laugh?

Honestly just forget it! I can’t believe you’re worrying that you can’t move for a few years because a 6 year old told you you need to

Strugglingtodomybest · 05/08/2021 17:22

Well said @Hardbackwriter!

Bugbeau · 05/08/2021 17:24

We have had a couple of comments like this “your garden is so tiny” “your house is small” it is from the younger sister of a friend who lives in a much bigger house. I don’t think little kids mean much by it and also think her mum would be mortified if she knew. Our house is smaller than a lot of my son’s friends & I think the majority of them don’t notice at all. Apparently our house is famous for trampoline wrestling amongst his friends rather than being small 😂

Original poster

Wanderinstar80 · 05/08/2021 17:25

Prettybubbles I wouldn't say I'm worried about moving because of what a 6 year old said, we have been well aware for a while that we should move house. This didn't just occur to us today.

OP posts:

Whatinthelord · 05/08/2021 17:27

Yes I don’t suppose the child was aware that what they were saying was rude, they just thought it was an observation because they don’t attach the meaning to it that we as adults do.

We’ve been talking about moving house and earlier my 5yr old tried to give me a £1 to put towards the cost of moving!! I. Her head it’s as easy as spending a little bit of money to get a bigger house. Sweet really.

I think as adults we feel all sorts of feeling about our homes and we assign so much meaning to having a big or a small house. I think kids just have a surface understanding of you have a small house…why don’t you get a bigger one.

My daughter has said all sorts to people…fat people, people with one eye etc….

impatientwatcher · 05/08/2021 17:32

She probably just hasn't been to lots of houses with children sharing or no dining table. I agree you were mean and unhelpful - money isn't magic. You could just have said you were saving up to move or something.

2bazookas · 05/08/2021 17:32

Your guest is only 6; she has no idea about parental incomes, houses cost money etc.

Kids that age just say what they're thinking, they haven't yet learned about social tact.

HideousKinky · 05/08/2021 17:56

When my DD brought home a new school friend (age 7) for the first time, she wandered round the house before declaring it wasn't a bad house, quite a good one....

I was amused but understood the comment better when I later met her mother who was obsessed with the property market and who I witnessed on several occasions walking round other people's houses and passing judgement!

Branleuse · 05/08/2021 18:00

Shes only 6.
Id reply that the house is a bit small but some people dont have a house at all so you still feel lucky to have a nice home, because big houses are very expensive

WestendVBroadway · 05/08/2021 18:04

@SleepingStandingUp

She wasn't rude, she was factual. You do need to move house, you only have two bedrooms and i expect you'd love a bigger kitchen.

Now ot might not be ok to day this out loud as an adult but if shes phrased it like that, i wouldn't consider it rude from a young child and it didn't really warrant your snarky response. She's 6.

Of course the OP needs to move house if She only has two bedrooms! Bloody Hell , I only have two bedrooms, but I love my house. Let's hope the OP can magic some funds overnight.

Notavegan · 05/08/2021 18:05

6 year old live in a small world and don't have much life experience.

Kralia · 05/08/2021 18:07

I think this is down to something she has heard at home - 6yos don't usually have practicality on their radar imo. My 6yo talks often about her best friends house. She has, it is true, noticed that it is much smaller than ours, but more importantly, it also apparently has (amongst other things) better toys, a more comfy sofa, tastier food, and pink walls in her friend's bedroom. So all things considered, she would prefer to live there

SupermanWithTheGreyHair · 05/08/2021 18:10

I was told by a three year at that she had seen my kitchen tiles before - at the dump!

Brilliant. 🤣

Winemewhynot · 05/08/2021 18:10

I think it’s so funny what comes out of little mouths and how their minds work. Adults who get offended by little kids probably need to deal with their own insecurities.

Like OP, you know it’s not ideal kids eating of their laps and say yourself you know you need a bigger house so why you’d be offended about a child pointing that out is beyond me

TheMamaYo · 05/08/2021 18:12

I remember a friend of my daughter doing similar at that age! It was her first time visiting, and she couldn't tell us enough how cute our house was, how small and how she couldn't get over the fact that there wasn't a playroom. We live in a 3 bed semi, in a rural village, massive garden, the house is a fair, comfortable size. My daughter was really put out, I thought nothing much of it. Until I dropped the child off, anyway. Then I understood. Their entrance hall alone was about as big as my house. [envy Her mum was the founder of a dating app, and their house was absolutely massive.
Don't take it to heart, they only say it as they see it. Definitely not worth getting upset about.
Loving the previous stories also, kids are brutal!

MistyFrequencies · 05/08/2021 18:13

A 4 year old recently told me my backyard was too small. And "too dirt"...I think referring to my unkempt vege garden.
I laughed and moved the conversation on. Turns out she lives in a first floor flat with no outdoor area. Kids say shit, ignore it.

Suzi888 · 05/08/2021 18:18

Yes she’s six and already very rude. I have a five year old with better manners, I can’t believe people think it’s ok as it’s ‘factual’. 🙄

CarlottaValdez · 05/08/2021 18:22

I can’t believe this bothered you. My DS is six and his friend asked how we managed to live in the house as there wasn’t enough space for our food. It didn’t cross my mind to be offended but I love my house so I’m not touchy about it.

I completely disagree it sounds like she’s parroting adults. More likely your daughter has said you’re moving.

billiebeeme · 05/08/2021 18:23

My little one is 4 and I cld imagine her saying this. She wouldn't understand it's rude even at age 6. To her she's just comparing the houses and wondering why urs is smaller and suggesting you move to have what she has.

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