My toddler has terrible taste in books [lighthearted]

[UnlimitedChipsAndSalsa]

Come and rant about the books you hate to read to your toddler.

My worst offender at the moment is Peppa Goes to Playgroup. Terrible illustrations, meh storyline, hardly anything in the pictures to point at, and a huge percentage of the text is names. DD loves that book and has never even seen Peppa Pig (we got the book in a bundle of used books that I bought). We had to hide it for a while for our mental health, but I took pity on DD and put it back in the rotation.

Anyone else have an unreasonable hatred toward an innocent book?

Someone bought my daughter Chad valley learn to read books. These include Hansel & Gretel, Rapunzel, The princess and the pea etc but I cannot stand any of them for some reason. They are all short sentences (I get to make them easier to read) but they just bug me and all seem so sinister. Like Hansel and Gretel ends "She pushed the witch in the pot of boiling water and that was the end of her" 🤣
I don't know why I hate them, DD loves them though and picks at least one of them each night!

One of DS’s favourites - Penguins Can’t Fly. I fucking hate it.

Lol I feel the same way about peppa goes to the park! My Ds gets obsessed with a book for about a week it is the only book he wants! My DH has just hid ‘peepo’ as although we love it we cannot read it all day tomorrow again!

DS loves Topsy and Tim. The more boring the storyline the more interested he seems to be.

Like Hansel and Gretel ends "She pushed the witch in the pot of boiling water and that was the end of her"
@HarveySpectorWins

Wow. They're not sugar-coating anything there!

Cloudbabies. Horrendous. Ridiculous names. Pisses me right off.

We have the ladybird hansel and gretel. Got a few pages in and give up. The dad gets rid of the kids in the woods because his wife tells him to. Not once but twice. Brutal.

Thats not my tractor/bus/unicorn

My children have a book with multiple Beatrix Potter stories in. It's a lovely looking book but I can't stand the stories. I find them hard to read, annoying and a bit pointless, particularly Squirrel Nutkin. Luckily DH doesn't mind them, so he can read them!

We have a peppa pig one, peppa goes to the bookshop I think. It definitely has bookshop in the title which annoys me from the off as at no point is she in a bookshop, she’s in a library. There’s nothing particularly wrong with the book it’s just the endless reading of it.

I really need someone to explain Pedro Pony to me. Did the illustrator lie on his/her resume?

HR Person: So, in addition to pigs that have both eyes on one side of the head, we'll need you to draw a pony. You know what a pony is, right?
Illustrator: [never having heard of a pony let alone seen one] Sure do!
HR person: You're hired!

Ones which have far too much text on the page.

Ones where there is no chance of skipping a few pages out as the child will always say "mummy you missed a page!" As you try to hurry the boredom along.

I loved Mr men books when I was little and bought one for my kids. Don't enjoy reading them out loud at all.

My number one parenting tip is, if a book pisses you off (for any reason) get rid of it before number two arrives, because it will be their all time favourite and second time around it will drive you demented knowing you could have avoided this!

@Winterfellismyhome

Thats not my tractor/bus/unicorn

I love it when my DS picks these. Stories done in 1 minute!

Personally do not love 'how things work' which has a million flaps everywhere that obviously DS must open with complicated things on and actually needs to be removed from the book shelve as it is in no shape or form a bedtime story

@Malibukev

We have the ladybird hansel and gretel. Got a few pages in and give up. The dad gets rid of the kids in the woods because his wife tells him to. Not once but twice. Brutal.

If you have a DD, keep reading this one. How else are you going to raise a strong woman?

@Winterfellismyhome

Thats not my tractor/bus/unicorn

I started singing those to the tune of "Little Drummer Boy" just for a change.

My children have a book with multiple Beatrix Potter stories in. It's a lovely looking book but I can't stand the stories.

@BendingSpoons, does it have Jemima Puddleduck in it? DD often wants to read that one but then wants to skip pages.

When I was wee we got a bundle of books from a neighbour including one called "the bugbear". For some reason my mum hated it. I used to delight in asking for it at bed time!

Aaargh squirrel Nutkin! It goes on forever! We've hidden it.

Agree with BendingSpoons about weird Beatrix Potter tales

Some are lovely classics like Peter Rabbit and Mrs Tiggywinkle but we had a whole complete boxed set which contained some bizarre obscure works including 'The Patty Pan and the Pie Dish' which was irritating, repetitive and made no sense at all but which DD would unerringly choose (I think she liked the pictures of cats)
I have to admit that one got 'lost' in the charity shop box.

@2tired2bewitty

My number one parenting tip is, if a book pisses you off (for any reason) get rid of it before number two arrives, because it will be their all time favourite and second time around it will drive you demented knowing you could have avoided this!

That's very good advice. I try to (mostly) let DD read what she enjoys. The heart wants what it wants.

My grandaughter's current favourite is a first aid manual!

Maisie mouse books, so boring to read!!!!

Some toddler books are amazingly well structured or purposely simple, like the That’s Not My… books. But DS has a Thomas the Tank engine story which is just completely pointless. The narrative doesn’t flow properly and so the story makes no sense. I hate reading it, which is a shame as I love sharing things I liked from my own childhood and I had loads of Thomas memories!

The one that springs to mind is Goodnight Moon.

It's not the story but i don't understand why the little toy house is coloured the same as the background on one of the pages. It's psychedelic!