My toddler has terrible taste in books [lighthearted]

[UnlimitedChipsAndSalsa]

Come and rant about the books you hate to read to your toddler.

My worst offender at the moment is Peppa Goes to Playgroup. Terrible illustrations, meh storyline, hardly anything in the pictures to point at, and a huge percentage of the text is names. DD loves that book and has never even seen Peppa Pig (we got the book in a bundle of used books that I bought). We had to hide it for a while for our mental health, but I took pity on DD and put it back in the rotation.

Anyone else have an unreasonable hatred toward an innocent book?

@cate16

My grandaughter's current favourite is a first aid manual!

That's hilarious! DD did bring me a Chinese takeaway menu to read to her the other day. She bailed shortly after the starters. I don't think that will be making a reappearance.

@Horehound

The one that springs to mind is Goodnight Moon.

It's not the story but i don't understand why the little toy house is coloured the same as the background on one of the pages. It's psychedelic!

When I read that one, my mind always wanders to what that room would look like in real life (someone in the world has probably created a replica). It's so garish. How could you relax in such a place?!

Another peppa one, a noisy sound book type one. Each block of text ends with at least 5 button prompts, half of which are different snorts and giggles, and are only vaguely relevant to the (rather boring) story.
Nutkin definitely the worst Potter to read, although I'm quite fond of him in the tv show so that raises my tolerance.
Usborn space and body books. Nothing wrong with them except being guaranteed to instigate a fight between the older dd and the toddler who just doesn't have the attention span for it.

Nothing can be as long and boring as both the Mr Men books and Thomas the Tank books.

Why they're so popular is beyond me. If someone took them to a book agent now they'd get laughed out of the place. Dreadful writing.

My ds loved The Magic Porridge Pot. Which isn’t a bad start in itself but do you know how many variations there are?? I’ve read every single one from the library several time’s over. Even one with a Polish translation.

The Tickle Book creeps me out, I've hidden it on a high shelf...

The Pied Piper of Hamelin. My DC got upset about the children disappearing into the mountain.

My FIL bought this for my DD - I think it’s an independently published book and it is just so obscure. Badly written, long winded and psychedelic story. I hate it.

Harry and the fucking dinosaurs go wild!

It's so long, it's so boring, it's so loved 😫

One of the pages is almost ripped off and I've told DD that if the page comes out we won't be able to read it anymore. It has been hanging on by a thread for weeks. Fecking thing.

Current favourite is a book about poo. I think it is actually called ‘all about poo’ and was bought by a well meaning grandparent to try and encourage potty training. It has lift the flaps and is fairly educational. But as someone with a fairly week stomach it is not my favourite book.

One of dds current favourites is Ross Collins this is a dog. It's total nonsense but it does make me smile how much she laughs at it.

We have a Gigantosaurus book thanks Granny and it’s shite

The story is non existent, it goes on forever and the pictures aren’t even up to much. Awful. Permanently residing down the back of the wardrobe.

My children are now grown up but when they were little, l loathed and detested the Mr. Men books. Roger Hargreaves never used one word when thirty would do. Seared in my brain is the one that spent a whole page describing a door. I lost the will to live.

One of those personalised ones, the child who lost their name. Have hidden it - doesn’t scan properly, tortuous!

My son is really into The World's Worst Children by David Fucking Walliams (as is his real name) just now.

One of the kids is Dribbling Drew who drools so much it fills entire rooms. I can't read it to him without my gorge rebelling. Then there's Windy Mindy who learns to play the tuba with her farts.

Everything that man writes is dreadful. He's the Roald Dahl of their generation.

@CorpusCallosum

Harry and the fucking dinosaurs go wild!

It's so long, it's so boring, it's so loved 😫

One of the pages is almost ripped off and I've told DD that if the page comes out we won't be able to read it anymore. It has been hanging on by a thread for weeks. Fecking thing.

This will be the one time your DD is super gentle with an object, right?

@CorpusCallosum

Harry and the fucking dinosaurs go wild!

It's so long, it's so boring, it's so loved 😫

One of the pages is almost ripped off and I've told DD that if the page comes out we won't be able to read it anymore. It has been hanging on by a thread for weeks. Fecking thing.

Yes. Totally agree. This is a terrible book.

Agree with Mr.men and Harry and the dinosaur books. So long, so tedious.

With dc2 I am not liking the gruffalo. Loved it with my first but now just finding it dull.

Diggers are good at dig dig dig digging.
Lifting up the earth and scooping and tipping.
They make huge holes with their dig dig digging.
They can work all day.

DS is almost 17 and I still know that one by heart.

DS2 went through a phase of loving Captain Flynn and the pirate dinosaurs. Only my mum changed all the characters to his friends names and he'd get really cross when I couldn't remember who was who. That book went to live at Grandmas!

I loved the really random Beatrix Potter stories. The one about the roly poly pudding was great!

@Violinist64 Seared in my brain is the one that spent a whole page describing a door. I lost the will to live.

This has got to be the best moan on the thread!

He's the Roald Dahl of their generation.
I really think this is just something his publishers keep saying, in the (vain) hope that it will become true. Whenever I was forced to read DWs stories, I always got the feeling that he had met very few children in real life, and that he must have intensely disliked those few.
My own DD had a love for Princess Evie and her magical ponies back in the day. Absolute muck 😖

OMG @ImNotWhoYouThinkIam I just had a flash back to endless reading of that bloody book THAT DOES NOT SCAN.

Authors, if you write rhyme, make it bloody scan! There was an emergency vehicles one too where there was one page that gave me so much rage because I could not make it work. At least Julia Donaldson always scans…

When she was little DD had a book about diggers. She loved it.

I hated the cover... where it clearly said 'about about diggers for BOYS who love digging

Gender stereotyping to another level. The reason she loved diggers was the building site next to her nursery. All of them loved stopping at the viewing windows. The nursery would take them down in small groups sometimes for a watch.

This thread brings back memories of my little one reading all these picture books just a few years ago. Of all the endless toddler book characters Peppa Pig, Paw Paw Patrol, Superwings, Peter Rabbit, Bing! Miffy,, Thomas the Tank Engine, Dora the Explorer, Hello Kitty, Disney classics and Lego Friends among countless others are still relatively fresh in my memory. We still have all the toys and merchandising to remind us although child is now on chapter books. And many of these British, American, Danish and Japanese character picture books and cartoons in multiple languages as we are a multilingual family.

My kids are much older but I think the worst things I read were the Rainbow fairies series. Written by a group of writers not an actual author, repetitive and boring. But good for kids who are learning to read. I was very glad when my dds could read them on their own.

I always hated TV show books like Peppa, also the Charlie and Lola books based on the TV episodes are not a patch on the brilliant original books.