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Original poster

My toddler has terrible taste in books [lighthearted]

209 replies

UnlimitedChipsAndSalsa · 30/07/2021 21:56

Come and rant about the books you hate to read to your toddler.

My worst offender at the moment is Peppa Goes to Playgroup. Terrible illustrations, meh storyline, hardly anything in the pictures to point at, and a huge percentage of the text is names. DD loves that book and has never even seen Peppa Pig (we got the book in a bundle of used books that I bought). We had to hide it for a while for our mental health, but I took pity on DD and put it back in the rotation.

Anyone else have an unreasonable hatred toward an innocent book?

OP posts:
MolyHolyGuacamole · 01/08/2021 23:55

@IncludeWomenInThePrequel

Nothing can be as long and boring as both the Mr Men books and Thomas the Tank books.

Why they're so popular is beyond me. If someone took them to a book agent now they'd get laughed out of the place. Dreadful writing.

OMG these are the 2 I was coming to post, was just checking that they hadn't already been mentioned.

As a child I liked the illustrations of the Mr Men books, but my GOD they're boring!

I also hate books that are repetitive, eg Bear Hunt. Lazy writing.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 01/08/2021 23:57

@MargaretThursday

Aw! The days when they'd find the most boring book every. Spitfire manual in ds' case. Why anyone would want the intricacies of a Spitfire engine to be read to them is beyond me, but he did. Regularly. When he hit 5yo I instigated a rule that I chose the bedtime books and things looked up. He also enjoyed them. I knew we were onto a winner when he was hiding under the bedsheets going "keep reading, keep reading..."
It sounds like my ds1 would get on well with your ds, @MargaretThursday!
MolyHolyGuacamole · 02/08/2021 00:09

@GinJeanie

Has anyone ever tried to read this?? 😱 It requires you to say the word "huuug" in lots of different, creative ways. Not sure there are ANY other words in it. I always felt I was missing something...
I love this one because the toddlers can 'read' it themselves and copy the way you do it! So cute

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Seedlipvshendricks · 02/08/2021 01:55

I have a lovely friend who buys my DS books but she clearly never reads them! The worst were a set of 3 about different vehicles, awful storyes and didn’t scan well .
Danny the dig loves to dig, well that’s what diggers do….
I’ve managed to hide them but heart finding them!

IndecentCakes · 02/08/2021 04:31

Has anyone ever read 'The Crocodile Under the Bed" by Judith Kerr? It's bloody torture.

ParadiseLaundry · 02/08/2021 05:02

@CorpusCallosum

Harry and the fucking dinosaurs go wild!

It's so long, it's so boring, it's so loved 😫

One of the pages is almost ripped off and I've told DD that if the page comes out we won't be able to read it anymore. It has been hanging on by a thread for weeks. Fecking thing.

Oh my god! Yes! PIL bought this for DS and it's just so dreadful! I don't understand how books can be so poorly written and boring with no point to them. How do they get published?! Give me something like Octopants any day, now there's a book!

Apologies if it's been said because I have RTFT yet and I'll probably get flamed for this but We're Going On A Bear Hunt is an absolute pile of shit. I have honestly no idea why it's so popular.

ParadiseLaundry · 02/08/2021 05:05

'! If I had to pick my least favourite book though ... 'We're going on a bear hunt.' Hate. Hate hate hate!!'

Thank fuck someone else said it too! Pleased I'm not the only one!

ParadiseLaundry · 02/08/2021 05:13

'Little miss hug needs a real lesson in consent, it makes me really uncomfortable and a a bit sad for poor Mr Grumpy.'

Mr Tickle too. You can't just go around tickling people around corners.

alwayscrashinginthesamecar1 · 02/08/2021 06:33

I am in my 50s, and my mum still bitterly complains about having to read me Milly Molly Mandy books on repeat. She couldn't even skip pages as I knew them more o less by heart. For me, it was sodding Thomas the Tank that nearly broke me. That phase went on for years!

Tablow · 02/08/2021 07:21

The ugly five has to be the worst book in the world actually. I have no idea what the song they sing is supposed to sound like. The message is that they're all ugly but their kids love them anyway (but they're, yunno, still ugly feckers). The whole thing irritates me.

CliffsofMohair · 02/08/2021 09:12

@Mingasauros

Tyrannosaurus Drip. Terrible book. And also because 'Plant' and 'Can't' do not rhyme.
Hated that book.,we got 3 copies on Christmas. Charity shopped the lot.
CliffsofMohair · 02/08/2021 09:16

@ParadiseLaundry

'! If I had to pick my least favourite book though ... 'We're going on a bear hunt.' Hate. Hate hate hate!!'

Thank fuck someone else said it too! Pleased I'm not the only one!

Fucking hate it. And my DD sobs at the end because the bear looks lonely.
MuchTooTired · 02/08/2021 12:01

[quote MyMabel]@MuchTooTired
Chuffa Chuffa Choo Choo here comes the train.. when do I jump[/quote]
Clickety clack, on the track, going to... the wine bottle Grin

Rainbowsew · 02/08/2021 12:31

I too don't get the love for bear hunt, really hated it!

BikeRunSki · 02/08/2021 12:36

“You Choose”….. it has no actual end. You just keep choosing. Definitely not a bedtime one.

Although I have fond memories of Beatrix Potter as a child (1970s), I found them very dated and difficult to read with my dc.

hungrywalrus · 02/08/2021 12:37

Even the most wonderful, wholesome stories become utterly odious in excessive quantities. Here’s looking at you, Thomas

Bunnycat101 · 02/08/2021 13:03

I hate the princess abs the wizard by Julia Donaldson. My daughter bloody loved it though. I can re-read lots of hers over and over without getting fed up but that one gave me the rage. I don’t really like reading Beatrix potter either.

I also have a series of books with lovely stories but appalling grammar. Drives me bonkers how badly they’re written.

Minesril · 02/08/2021 13:08

I love the 'that's not my...' books. I always make myself sound crosser and crosser. 'That... is not...my dinosaur!!'

Anything based on a tv show. They even make Duggee seem shit!

I used to work in a bookshop. Mr Tickle was Mr Restraining Order.

GinJeanie · 02/08/2021 13:09

@MolyHolyGuacamole - re Hug. Ahh, I get it! If only DS had taken some of the strain... Tbf, I'm not sure he was ever particularly inspired by my lacklustre rendition 🤪

GinJeanie · 02/08/2021 13:13

I always wished I'd invented the That's Not My... series. Ker ching! 🤑 (DC and I did like them though)

londonmummy1966 · 02/08/2021 13:28

We had an elmer bath book about how he fell in the water with a big splash - you can guess what DC took that as a cue for. As it was a bath book there were fewer in the rotation.

Just wait for her to be old enough to read the bloody rainbow fairies series there's more than 100 of them and they are totally formulaic. Lost the will to live at that point.

Haudyourwheesht · 02/08/2021 16:58

@ParadiseLaundry

'Little miss hug needs a real lesson in consent, it makes me really uncomfortable and a a bit sad for poor Mr Grumpy.'

Mr Tickle too. You can't just go around tickling people around corners.

GrinGrin
Gingenius · 02/08/2021 17:03

@IncludeWomenInThePrequel I second the Mr men books - they are so long and not child friendly at all. Also some of them teach some awful values like laughing at Mr Muddle when he clearly has some type of SEN….

Eyesofdisarray · 02/08/2021 17:10

Julia Donaldson books, beloved by DD- boring, boring.
David Walliams books: total badly written (does he really write them anyway?)and rubbish.
And those Fairy books each with a girl's name - tosh

LadyCatStark · 02/08/2021 17:28

@BendingSpoons

My children have a book with multiple Beatrix Potter stories in. It's a lovely looking book but I can't stand the stories. I find them hard to read, annoying and a bit pointless, particularly Squirrel Nutkin. Luckily DH doesn't mind them, so he can read them!
I found Beatrix Potter hard to read to. They just don’t flow like they should!