Help, HMRC are going to put out a warrant for me!

[toolazytothinkofausername]

I've just had a phone call from HMRC telling me there has been tax fraud on my account, and I either press 1 to speak to them or if I hang up a warrant will be issued

So... I have about 5 minutes to pack a suitcase and run away! What do I pack?

Seriously, I am aware it was a scam

The phone number was: +44 1223 512843

On my iPhone it said it was from Cambridge.

Love these calls, get them a lot 🤣

It's going to be a hell of a trip we're taking with all these millions 😃

Can I come along. Someone has hacked all my devices and if I don't pay a ransom to him he is going to show all of the shockingly degrading poem I watch to all my contacts

*porn. I don't think my poems are worthy of ransom demands

I’ll join!
My nhs number has had illegal activity and there is a warrant for my arrest.. i said i’d wait.
Clearly the police must be busy as it’s been 5 months
I also had an inbox from someone saying how much they enjoyed what i’d been watching on my laptop and unless i pay them in Bitcoin they'll share it too my contacts…surprising as i have no laptop
Random banks and netflicks are always really interested in me also!

a towel,
most important

I had one of these today but from someone calling themselves the National Insurance office. Apparently someone has stolen my identity and NI number, and is currently using it to commit illegal acts. I was told to press 1 before the police came to arrest me!
Well, I’m afraid I was stuck in the nightmare maze that is IKEA at the time, trying to find a specific sized picture frame and dreaming of meatballs. As you can well imagine, I didn’t have time to prevent my arrest.

I'll join you on the run OP- I have several warrants out for my arrest for tax fraud and National Insurance fraud. There are some wealthy Russians who really want to meet me, so I bet they could smuggle us out of the country. We'll have to get it organised quickly though, as my internet connection will be cut off imminently- luckily I have been warned by the lovely man from talk talk (which really is above and beyond since I don't even have a use their services).

I’m sorry I can’t help. I’m far too busy meeting local women who want to bang me.

Can I bring Chris my local energy advisor with me? He has rung me every day this week so he must be keen on a meeting.
Trouble is he tells me he is local, but his dialling code is a long way away. I know cos I come from the area he is dialling from and its 3 hour drive away. I 'll miss our chats when I block him on my new iPhones from Amazon.
I've squared away HMRC- family member works for them- he's intercepted my warrant.
The Prudential Regulation Authority also ring about my share dealings.........

I’ve had the exact same almost weekly what bank are you with I ask because im with Santander and there was a warning a month or so ago on my online banking that there customers where being contacted by a number saying it was the hmrc. I just hang up now.

National Crime Agency are after me. They have been for 18 months.

Im not hiding, but they must be really shit at detective work.

Don't panic! I heard that for the most serious of issues they will take payment by ITunes vouchers

@Sidge

I’m sorry I can’t help. I’m far too busy meeting local women who want to bang me.

🤣🤣🤣

oh there is a large amount of money on my amazon account also, as well as a parcel redirected from the post office

Busy day today. Will finally sort out loads of parcels which need extra postage paid on them. Also need to ‘urgently’ update my bank details for something or other (prime or Netflix I think) and pay for something stuck at Italian customs. National insurance have also been in touch with alarming news I need to sort out. All over the last week.
Busy busy NOT !!

I got these daily during the hell that was lockdown home schooling.

I was looking forward to some quiet time in the cells. Gutted they never came for me.

KittenKong Id be interested in the drainpipe unclogger, please send me your email address and bank account number so I can reimburse you

Red faced here. Kept getting messages about a parcel I had sent to Italy being stuck for inadequate customs info. Assumed it was scam as no numbers or I’d and I assumed they would then ask for my account etc. Well today sad battered parcel arrived back at mine having languished in Turin for 6 MONTHS !
oh dear.
This is the problem. Total scam avoidance has buggered this up.

I'm still waiting for TV Licensing to send their heavies round ...

Oh yes. Although not a scam TV licensing are incredibly persistent - there are so many vans in my area and planning a visit - good luck to them, they won’t find anything in o watch anything on or anybody at the moment.

@Duetorain

Oh yes. Although not a scam TV licensing are incredibly persistent - there are so many vans in my area and planning a visit - good luck to them, they won’t find anything in o watch anything on or anybody at the moment.

I was talking about TV Licence scam emails, which are very prevalent. There's a checklist on the TV Licensing website if anyone is unsure whether an email purporting to be from them is genuine.

The ones I get come from completely random email addresses and don't include my name or address details so are without a doubt a scam - telling me 'enforcement' is coming round to my house unless I click on their dodgy link straight away to stop it. I pay for my TV Licence by direct debit and have done for donkey's years.

Ah ok @ShadowInVain I haven’t had the scam ones (yet) . I now apparently have suspicious activity on my Amazon account.

I'm currently the subject of a federal lawsuit.... can I join you on the run?

I've just bought a beautiful GPO style phone, I live it doesn't need a plug and it looks pretty

But it replaces my call baring phone and I've had two ' we are cutting off your phone' calls today