Help, HMRC are going to put out a warrant for me!

[toolazytothinkofausername]

I've just had a phone call from HMRC telling me there has been tax fraud on my account, and I either press 1 to speak to them or if I hang up a warrant will be issued

So... I have about 5 minutes to pack a suitcase and run away! What do I pack?

Seriously, I am aware it was a scam

The phone number was: +44 1223 512843

On my iPhone it said it was from Cambridge.

Ive had 3 calls beginning "this your bank". hahahahaha does anyone fall for this? Does anyone bank with "YOUR" bank?

I'd help you, but unfortunately my Microsoft account has terrible problems and I need to sort it out with the nice person who phoned and is really anxious to help me. Just as soon as I find a computer with Microsoft on it ..

@Myoldestds, did you read the post that you quoted? The fact that OP said "I am aware it was a scam" might have given you a hint that maybe she didn't really need any warning.

Op - I will look after your account in your absence. Just send me the details and I’ll keep everything safe from HMRC.

I had a threatening voicemail from “the HMRC” left by a nice sounding automated lady who introduced herself as “Mark Johnson”. Can’t imagine why I wasn’t convinced!

I pressed 1 and after he tried to scare me I said ‘Really? I’m a tax accountant so let me just get my records and we can check where I’ve not paid correctly!’ He shouted at me and hung up.

Not a good idea to press 1, even for the pleasure of winding them up. There's a risk that it puts you onto a premium rate line.

I think my favourite was the nice gentleman from BT who was terribly keen to upgrade our free telephone barring service. The only trouble is, he couldn't really explain why he needed to verify things by taking my bank account and credit card details for a phone line in DH's name and paid for out of his account. He thought I was being terribly unreasonable asking for an explanation before giving him the details, and mansplained to me that it was just their policy, nothing for me to worry my little head about. He was so keen to help he even phoned back a couple of times after I put the phone down on him, even when I told him to fuck off.

Have you left yet? Don’t forget clean undies in case you end up in hospital and long tops to cover your kidneys. Gotta keep them warm.

I just came to tell you about a great YouTube Channel which confronts these scammers, it's great to watch: Jim Browning.

However... having just tried to link to it, it appears that he himself fell victim to a scam earlier this week and they managed to get him to delete his channel!

He hopes to get it resolved soon, so do google 'Jim Browning Youtube' shortly and hopefully it will all be there to watch again in a few days.

Must go now.. my National Insurance number has had some suspicious activity (what a naughty number) so I need to go and speak to the nice man who has warned me about it.

[quote Terhou]@Myoldestds, did you read the post that you quoted? The fact that OP said "I am aware it was a scam" might have given you a hint that maybe she didn't really need any warning.[/quote]
Did you read my next post right after my 1st 😁

We'll go on the run together as I've already got a warrant out for my arrest but an email this morning has let me know that the tax on my car payment hasn't gone through so I'll have to walk or take public transport so the feds don't have to do a slow speed chase and blockade roads just to arrest me 🤷🏻‍♀️

@SoupDragon

A towel and a copy of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

Royal Mail have texted me about the problems they're having delivering an urgent package that I can't remember ordering. It's amazing service really, they must have gone to endless trouble to track down my mobile number, especially when they could have just put a card through the door.

This is a link to a BBC clip of someone confronting a scammer on the tax fraud scam
www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/business-56543849

Whatever you do, don't go to West Wales - that's where there has been some illegal activity on my National Insurance number.

Also illegal activity on my internet, which obviously isn't me because the nice man from BT told me my internet isn't working.

I would love to be in prison until the 8th of September. They can have me.

I don’t know what the police were doing between March and May of this year, they were so many warrants out for my arrest due to my NI number being continually compromised. I even spoke to a police officer during that time about something unrelated, gave the police my name and address but no they still didn’t arrest me - can’t get the staff 🤷‍♀️.
I eventually asked “HMRC” when the police were coming to arrest me as I’ve been waiting nearly three months (listened to message, then asked my question, then the line went dead) and bizarrely since then I’ve not had anymore.

Well I’ve had Sky helpfully trying to fix the slow broadband I’m apparently suffering from, HSBC are very concerned about fraudulent activity on my account and Hermes/Royal Mail are struggling to deliver due to unpaid postage. Funnily enough, I seem to have forgotten all about the accounts with Sky and HSBC and if these parcels ever arrive then it will be a pleasant surprise as I’m pretty sure I didn’t order anything!

OP I wouldn’t worry too much, you’ve got plenty of time to pack. HMRC have been after me for months and haven’t sent the police round yet. Take your time, research your destination. It needs to be sunny (but not too hot! We’re British!) and have plenty of alcohol

I've had several emails asking me if it's true that I am dead, something to do with my missing millions and the Swedish Embassy. I gleefully reply telling them that yes I am indeed dead so I don't need the money, there are no tills in paradise.

I can't believe I'm consorting with criminals!

I'd come but the minor car accident I had is still giving me pains somewhere. I'd like to go somewhere without a mobile reception if possible tho. My mother has given my number to some life insurance place, she's trying to set a policy up to pay her funeral costs, got bamboozled by the sales rep and gave them my number as 'dd sorts all this out for me'. Someone called Jay has phoned, messaged or emailed at least 4 times a day since Monday despite me telling them I won't be seeing her until Friday to discuss.

Now if anyone wants his number to pass on to nuisance callers please let me know!

@LittleG69

I work for HMRC and I get these calls on my work mobile!

Sorry but .......🤦‍♀️🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I've been downloading porn - and I've been caught!
They're going to tell everyone I know!
Help!

@amillionrosepetals

I've had several emails asking me if it's true that I am dead, something to do with my missing millions and the Swedish Embassy. I gleefully reply telling them that yes I am indeed dead so I don't need the money, there are no tills in paradise.

Love this!

I also did similar to the people who rang to tell me about the recent accident I'd had. They still continued talking after I told them I'd died in it.

Then got cross and hung on me.

Apparently I was wasting their time

DH is being hounded by the NCA. Apparently his national insurance number will be suspended unless he presses 1, right now.

In other news my 'internet provider' is also displeased, for reasons unknown. They too are desirous of my pressing 1, right now, to speak to their Tech Exec!

But my Nigerian prince has deserted me. And my Russian FuckBuddy has stopped offering dick picks.

Who knows what a new day will bring?