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Original poster

I can't live my life like this anymore........

116 replies

Toffeelatte10 · 27/07/2021 20:45

I'm 30 and suspected recently I have something about me that isn't the same as other people.
I thought I've had anxiety and depression and maybe i do but i also have other things and was wondering if anyone can relate? Would a doctor take me seriously if i were to tell them these things about me? The thing thats stopping me is being laughed at i guess.

So some of the things about me that i feel is different.

I procrastinate alot! To the point where i will do anything else possible to avoid doing it. Usually i do it when feeling overwhelmed. I have to do whatever it is at the last possible minute but it causes me a lot of stress.
I can also get bored very easily of things. I'll have a great idea in my mind but can't follow it through. Often i'll feel like i have so much potential but why can i just not follow it through and feel motivated to do it.

My parents have always called me lazy, I wouldn't say i was lazy as i am psychically active but I am a disorganised messy person. No matter how hard i try i can't organise anything. I want to be able to but i can't. As well as messy I am also very forgetful. I lose things a lot and forget where i put things. At college my time keeping was awful and everyday i was always late. Again i would faff around in the morning and put off as long as i could going to college.

I find eye contact hard and uncomfortable. I find it hard to make friends and I can be socially awkward. Although looking at me people assume the opposite. Which then makes it even more tough as people assume i'm stuck up.

I become obsessed with things. Eg. recently i got my DS a pet and i've been obsessed with researching about them, joined groups to find out as much as i can. When i was younger i would be obsessed with books or tv programmes and become totally engrossed in them. Like a form of escapism i guess. Last year i took up a craft hobby, started a shop and now i have no motivation to carry it on even though its done well.

I just feel i don't fit in. I want to do well in life but feel like im my own worst enemy and stopping myself from being who i want to be.

I know this might sound a bit muddled and crazy but had to put it down and see if anyone else felt like this?

OP posts:

Pantene23 · 27/07/2021 20:46

You sound like me. I’m currently being assessed for ADHD

blissfulllife · 27/07/2021 20:47

Look up female adhd and executive distinction

AnyFucker · 27/07/2021 20:48

Sounds very much like ADHD or bipolar disorder. Medication could help you.

It doesn’t sound crazy, btw

confusedlots · 27/07/2021 20:49

I have lots of the same traits as you and the more I've read over the past couple of months, the more I think I probably have ADHD. Not sure what to do about it though and not sure if I really want a formal diagnosis.

Bookaholic73 · 27/07/2021 20:49

You’ve just described my 21 year old son to a T.
He has Aspergers and ADD.
Please don’t suffer in silence, get some help.

Cherryana · 27/07/2021 20:50

We can’t diagnose you but I agree with the previous poster. Try looking up adult-assessed female adhd.

I think it will help explain things to you and help you feel less alone. It will also provide you with some ideas for strategies to help you manage some of the traits you describe.

Nicecupofteaandacake · 27/07/2021 20:50

What you have put is precisely how I feel - although I’m overly organised, obsessively plan and always on time. I’m with you though on everything else. I also have GAD and depression.

I have long thought that I am autistic, but I haven’t bothered going the GP for a referral as I’m not entirely sure it would be helpful to me.

I would go the GP as it is bothering you and it seems looking into it will be a massive help to you

duckyla · 27/07/2021 21:04

What does treatment involve?

UselessMickey · 27/07/2021 21:11

hello, your description is me to a T! I am 31 and was diagnosed at 29 with Adult ADD. There is a great website called 'Additudemag' . com that has so many articles I resonate with and find comfort in.

If you want to know about my assessment, medication or anything feel free to message. X

Gilead · 27/07/2021 21:14

Executive dysfunction. Add/AdHD

youvegottenminuteslynn · 27/07/2021 21:20

You don't sound crazy! Don't demonise yourself with that kind of language, you might just not be neurotypical.

I'm diagnosed with ADHD and recognise many of your descriptions. Wasn't diagnosed until 30ish and it all suddenly made sense! The media has misrepresented ADHD as being 'just' hyperactive rather than the nuanced and individual diagnosis it is - hugely varies from person to person.

I'm also diagnosed bipolar and medication for that has truly changed my life. I was out of control (though on paper achieving work wise so masked well) and I could cry thinking about the years I wasted not seeking help but it is what it is.

Definitely worth talking to a professional. CBT, healthy coping mechanisms and medication have all been hugely helpful to me personally.

DeedledeDee · 27/07/2021 21:31

You describe me exactly to a T.

Was diagnosed with Aspbergers at age 55.

Don't have friends, hate eye contact , obsessive interests that last about 6 months.

Unsure33 · 27/07/2021 21:38

You don’t sound crazy at all .

I have some of your traits and did an online test and came out borderline autistic.

Most of the time I don’t worry about my traits but the obsession over a subject can be hard , also I am very unemotional most of the time . Can’t stand a drama . I am sure I rub people up the wrong way as I come across as being very abrupt.

LysistrataVickers · 27/07/2021 21:39

I have a lot of the same traits and I have ADHD.

Beancounter1 · 27/07/2021 21:41

It is possible to have ADD - Attention Deficit Disorder - without the hyperactivity of ADHD.
I may be wrong but I think ADD often occurs together with Asperger's / high-functioning autism.

These are not 'illnesses' - there is no treatment. You are just non-neuro-typical. You can however learn practical coping strategies. And if you get a formal diagnosis it may help you learn to accept yourself, with all your advantages and disadvantages, as well as find ways to manage everyday life.

rainbowfairydust · 27/07/2021 21:43

Alot of these points stand out to me as my son has issues with these things and has been diagnosed with Autism, and I have suspected Add.... I am also wondering if I also have it. For instance, he will always wait till the very last minute to put his school shoes on and get his bag ready even though he is sat there knowing its almost time... He often complains of boredom, has great ideas and ambition but struggles to follow through. He isn't great with eye contact and finds it hard to let interests go... At the moment he does have good friends but it's a bit easier to make friends as he is at primary and kids are very forgiving and make the first contact.
I myself can relate to the not having many friends and find it hard to make friends but yet I come across as confident and self-assured.... I think I find the flow of conversation a bit hard to keep up with at times so I probably keep it short which might come across as not interested or blunt... I quite often misplace things or forget things, my memory is quite bad, I have to repeat something 3 times for it to sink in enough to remember sometimes... My son is the same.
One thing that might help, that I've learnt from my partner who potentially also has autism... Is always have the same place for everything, and a good routine helps you get up and on without thinking about it too much. His car key is always in the same place, he gets ready/showers etc. In the same order so he can do it without too much thinking.... He does struggle though if his routine is changed...
I do think there is a much higher percentage of people with autism or adhd than we ever realised but it's still quite a tricky thing to understand and diagnose

DoingItMyself · 27/07/2021 21:45

ad(h)d. autism.

nothanksbarb · 27/07/2021 21:47

ADHD and autism have a lot of overlaps. I'd lean more towards adhd with what you're describing. I was diagnosed last year at 32 after my daughter was born and I was struggling horrendously with all of the organisation a newborn entails. I ended up paying for a private diagnosis as I just needed to know. If you have old school reports they will be very handy right now.

Tomnooktoldmeto · 27/07/2021 21:49

Another one here saying take a look at Female ASD presentation along with Adhd, you sound like a mix of my DD DH and DS who are all neurodivergent

There is nothing wrong with being you but perhaps understanding yourself will bring you peace

DoylyCarte · 27/07/2021 21:52

Sounds very familiar! I empathise; it’s like an uphill battle against yourself. Constantly on the brink of self-sabotage. My brother and I are extremely similar and share a lot of those traits you describe; he was diagnosed with ADD.

I haven’t been formally diagnosed but out of curiosity did this test which came back pretty categoric - I’m certain I fall under the ADD (too lazy to qualify for the H 😂😂😂 (I know it’s not laziness related btw!)), but not sure what of benefit an actual diagnosis would practically have as I’d prefer not to be medicated, do haven’t looked into this. It was however a source of real comfort to explain why these behaviours are exhibited.

Here’s the test (just seen it’s Additude mag as recommended by pp):

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.additudemag.com/add-inattentive-adhd-symptom-test-adults/amp/

Original poster

Toffeelatte10 · 27/07/2021 22:00

@nothanksbarb

That's the thing, my school reports are all fine. I've always done fine academically in school. I have also had my parents on my case though, making me do homework and making sure i revised then. At college i did a dance diploma so didn't have to do more written work. Then i went on to do a professional qualification but couldn't complete it. I found it tough and because I was older and had no one on my back about revising, I found it hard to revise. I am now currently doing a degree. I've procrastinated alot! I've found ways to not get distracted but i do always leave it to the last possible minute and cause myself unnecessary stress.

OP posts:

Original poster

Toffeelatte10 · 27/07/2021 22:02

[quote DoylyCarte]Sounds very familiar! I empathise; it’s like an uphill battle against yourself. Constantly on the brink of self-sabotage. My brother and I are extremely similar and share a lot of those traits you describe; he was diagnosed with ADD.

Here’s the test (just seen it’s Additude mag as recommended by pp):

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.additudemag.com/add-inattentive-adhd-symptom-test-adults/amp/[/quote]
Yes to the self sabotage, in my counselling i had a few months ago we briefly started touching on why i do it and procrastination but then she left the place i went to so our sessions ended.

OP posts:

Kitfish · 27/07/2021 22:05

@AnyFucker

Sounds very much like ADHD or bipolar disorder. Medication could help you.

It doesn’t sound crazy, btw

This sounds like ADHD - it's nothing like bipolar disporder.

Original poster

Toffeelatte10 · 27/07/2021 22:06

@Unsure33

You don’t sound crazy at all .

I have some of your traits and did an online test and came out borderline autistic.

I am sure i also rub people up the wrong way too. My partner has told me I don't have much tact. I know i don't i'm very to the point and come across abrupt. I've also had people be shocked at what i've said and i've apologized as it did not mean to come out that way. Just can't help it though.

My Dsis had counselling and her counsellor wanted to refer her for autism. I am also pretty sure my DM has something. She cannot keep still, has to be constantly doing something. She is very socially awkward too.

OP posts:

Original poster

Toffeelatte10 · 27/07/2021 22:07

Also thank you everyone for your kind words and advise. Makes me feel not so alone

OP posts:

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