I can't live my life like this anymore........

[Toffeelatte10]

I'm 30 and suspected recently I have something about me that isn't the same as other people.
I thought I've had anxiety and depression and maybe i do but i also have other things and was wondering if anyone can relate? Would a doctor take me seriously if i were to tell them these things about me? The thing thats stopping me is being laughed at i guess.

So some of the things about me that i feel is different.

I procrastinate alot! To the point where i will do anything else possible to avoid doing it. Usually i do it when feeling overwhelmed. I have to do whatever it is at the last possible minute but it causes me a lot of stress.
I can also get bored very easily of things. I'll have a great idea in my mind but can't follow it through. Often i'll feel like i have so much potential but why can i just not follow it through and feel motivated to do it.

My parents have always called me lazy, I wouldn't say i was lazy as i am psychically active but I am a disorganised messy person. No matter how hard i try i can't organise anything. I want to be able to but i can't. As well as messy I am also very forgetful. I lose things a lot and forget where i put things. At college my time keeping was awful and everyday i was always late. Again i would faff around in the morning and put off as long as i could going to college.

I find eye contact hard and uncomfortable. I find it hard to make friends and I can be socially awkward. Although looking at me people assume the opposite. Which then makes it even more tough as people assume i'm stuck up.

I become obsessed with things. Eg. recently i got my DS a pet and i've been obsessed with researching about them, joined groups to find out as much as i can. When i was younger i would be obsessed with books or tv programmes and become totally engrossed in them. Like a form of escapism i guess. Last year i took up a craft hobby, started a shop and now i have no motivation to carry it on even though its done well.

I just feel i don't fit in. I want to do well in life but feel like im my own worst enemy and stopping myself from being who i want to be.

I know this might sound a bit muddled and crazy but had to put it down and see if anyone else felt like this?

@MistySkiesAfterRain

I have inattentive adhd. Did great at school. Loads of thing that help. Books and vids on You Tube. Here's my list/what I've learned.

Cutting out sugar
Deal with it once policy
Caffeine
Decongestants (also a stimulant)
Adhd medication
Protein
Motivational music
Asd/adhd accountability facebook group
Focus Mate
Walking
HIIT, exercise bike, stepper
Lists
Post it notes
Weekly timetable
Setting short term deadlines
Reward planning
Just start
10 min timer
Pomodoro technique
Pick 3 jobs
Quick win first thing
Start early
Allow extra time
Simplify simplify simplify
Declutter
Intermittent fasting or low carb
Probiotic
B6, zinc, magnesium
Mediterranean diet
Omega 3
Recognise intrusive thoughts and feelings behind them i.e. helplessness, think of someone strong and how they deal with problems, positive self talk
Sleep
Eating more salt (my blood pressure can be low'ish)
Eat pure carb for energy
Limits on distractions
Recharge time
Block out planning time

Caffeine and decongestants ? Cut out ?

@Howshouldibehave

I only have 1 cup of green tea which contains caffeine in the morning. Any subsequent cups are decaff/herbal!
Green tea also contains L Theanine which supports (or has something to do with) dopamine.

I stumbled across Sudafed (pseudoephedrine hydrochloride, sp?), as I have chronic sinusitis. They were the only tablet that worked pain wise AND made me feel better i.e. less foggy/fatigued. I only found out by error (taking one at 10pm and still being awake at 4am!) that they are a stimulant- not sure it was clear on the leaflet. The pharmacist had said don't take it at night but I was distracted and forgot. I googled and apparently they shrink blood vessels in the nasal passage. Don't know how but they sharpen my focus when nothing else works! You can't take them every day though, its only for occasional treatment of sinus issues.

@MistySkiesAfterRain

Sudafed contain pseudoeohedrine which is a precursor in the manufacture of methamphetamine. It's a brilliant stimulant and I love it for flights (to avoid ear pain) but yes, a restricted substance haha

ADHD was the first thing that came to mind as I read this.

You also describe some things that could indicate being in the autistic spectrum.

There is a crossover with both conditions.

Can you afford to see a clinical physiologist who specialises in neuro diversity in woman?

@PrettyLittleFlies erm yes I want to be really clear thar I'm not recommending self medicating and best to consult a GP/pharmacist/ADHD specialist.

[quote MistySkiesAfterRain]@PrettyLittleFlies erm yes I want to be really clear thar I'm not recommending self medicating and best to consult a GP/pharmacist/ADHD specialist.[/quote]
Oh I wasn't in any way suggesting you were. I'm sorry if it came across that way.

The only time I feel clear headed is when I take Sudafed! I can understand why it can be addictive 😔

It's awful though when we mistakenly take a stimulant at night and can't sleep.

Seems you have a lot of great management strategies 👍

Right now I'm focusing on physical well-being with yoga, meditation, gym and swimming which is helping a lot.

The thing that actually started all this was my DS. I noticed he just cannot sit still and is on the go. He has trouble sleeping but school have said he focuses ok at school. He now begins ks1 so hasn't had to sit and learn yet. But yes this is what made me think and then I thought to my DM and Dsis and thought about myself and began seeing traits about myself that I'd always thought of as lazy because my parents had said so.

Thank you to everyone for being so kind too 😊 means alot.

I want to call my doctor's but feel I can't. How do you start the conversation? Just say I think I've got something wrong with me then list the things? Say you're feeling overwhelmed?? I'm scared I'm going to be fobbed off

@Toffeelatte10

I want to call my doctor's but feel I can't. How do you start the conversation? Just say I think I've got something wrong with me then list the things? Say you're feeling overwhelmed?? I'm scared I'm going to be fobbed off

Can you do an e consult? Might be easier to write it down.

I could have written this thread OP. I just feel like I don't fit. A lot of the time I can manage - when I have the foods that I eat (porridge made a particular way for breakfast, coffee, more coffee, specific lunch, dinner planned ahead, specific snacks had at specific times) and I'm able to exercise. Some days though, I just can't do anything. Today is one of those days - the kids are away entertaining themselves and I'm on the sofa browsing mumsnet in my PJs at 12pm. This is the first day like this I've had in I don't know how long but it feels paralysing - there's so much stuff I know I need to do and should do but I just can't motivate myself to do it.

I'm better when I'm in work. Bizarrely, I find the bustle of my classroom easy to cope with because it's what I expect of a classroom - but the summer holidays are a nightmare for my routines. Put me in a busy city centre surrounded by people and smells and sounds and I just can't.

I've also not got any diagnosis of any kind. DH thinks I could be autistic, I suspect maybe more ADHD than ASD. But I know that children where I am struggle to get much needed diagnoses never mind adults, and I've got 31 years of coping mechanisms developed so what's the point in pursuing it.

You sound a lot like my adult daughter, who has been diagnosed with the inattentive type of adhd. She finds a coffee first thing helps too. She paid privately for a psychologists report.
Good luck!

MistySkies, thank you so much for sharing the websites and your experiences, going to have a look at these. Interestingly I know I definitely feel more clear headed when doing low carb/sugar. Thank you to everyone else who has commented and to OP for starting this thread! OP if you do go to the doctors, good luck and I hope they take you seriously.

I've just had a quick look at a private screening and diagnosis in my area. The cost is 1000! Wow thats alot.

Don't rush into diagnosis OP, it might be you find you're happy to live without it being official.

The first step is being open to the possibility of a diagnosis, you've done that. Next step is a bit of reading and research. That might be enough for you to say to yourself, 'Ok, I am 99% sure I have asd/adhd/both, and just knowing that now with all the tools I've picked up from my reading I don't need to spend a grand on getting diagnosed. From now on I'm just going to accept that I'm different, make a few reasonable adjustments to life and forgive myself for things in my past that I couldn't help'

@Toffeelatte10

I've just had a quick look at a private screening and diagnosis in my area. The cost is 1000! Wow thats alot.

That’s pretty cheap-it’s £3/4000 round here!