I can't live my life like this anymore........

[Toffeelatte10]

I'm 30 and suspected recently I have something about me that isn't the same as other people.
I thought I've had anxiety and depression and maybe i do but i also have other things and was wondering if anyone can relate? Would a doctor take me seriously if i were to tell them these things about me? The thing thats stopping me is being laughed at i guess.

So some of the things about me that i feel is different.

I procrastinate alot! To the point where i will do anything else possible to avoid doing it. Usually i do it when feeling overwhelmed. I have to do whatever it is at the last possible minute but it causes me a lot of stress.
I can also get bored very easily of things. I'll have a great idea in my mind but can't follow it through. Often i'll feel like i have so much potential but why can i just not follow it through and feel motivated to do it.

My parents have always called me lazy, I wouldn't say i was lazy as i am psychically active but I am a disorganised messy person. No matter how hard i try i can't organise anything. I want to be able to but i can't. As well as messy I am also very forgetful. I lose things a lot and forget where i put things. At college my time keeping was awful and everyday i was always late. Again i would faff around in the morning and put off as long as i could going to college.

I find eye contact hard and uncomfortable. I find it hard to make friends and I can be socially awkward. Although looking at me people assume the opposite. Which then makes it even more tough as people assume i'm stuck up.

I become obsessed with things. Eg. recently i got my DS a pet and i've been obsessed with researching about them, joined groups to find out as much as i can. When i was younger i would be obsessed with books or tv programmes and become totally engrossed in them. Like a form of escapism i guess. Last year i took up a craft hobby, started a shop and now i have no motivation to carry it on even though its done well.

I just feel i don't fit in. I want to do well in life but feel like im my own worst enemy and stopping myself from being who i want to be.

I know this might sound a bit muddled and crazy but had to put it down and see if anyone else felt like this?

@Dollpiglet

It sounds like you're just an academic

@SparklingLime

UK women with ADHD
Jenn has ADHD
Black girl, lost keys
The ADHD adult
Dank ADHD memes (humour)
We have ADHD

There may be more but my memory is

I actually first twigged I had it via a meme

Thank you, @Berkeys and @MistySkiesAfterRain.

You sound exactly like me! I am currently wallowing in the bath, I know I have lots of things to do but I can’t bring myself to get out. My DS has Aspergers and in trying to help him, I have recognised so much of myself. Following accounts on insta has really helped me to see that it isn’t a disorder but just a different way of thinking. Autisticats is very good and recently posted something about the procrastination being more about processing then behaviour, which helped me to see that it isn’t my fault but something I need to function and make time for and manage.

I tend to make a lot of short lists and if I have managed to get to the end of my list at the end of the day, I feel as though I have done good. After years of being late because of my last minute nature. I have learnt to be early. I can do early because it isn’t the exact time I need to be there but I can’t be on time.
I find social interactions really awkward, almost exhausting because I feel as though I am watching myself have a conversation in an out of body sort of way) and critiquing myself. Sometimes if I pick up a ‘vibe’ from people, I am literally climbing out of my skin and I want to bolt. Yet at the same time, I want to make friends.

I flit between anxiety about people thinking I am a fraud and thinking fuck that I am entitled to live my life especially as so much of my over-thinking has benefitted others. There are positives to being this way and I don’t think I would have achieved academically if I wasn’t the way I am. I am just crap at most other things so I have put my obsessive nature to good use to create a life that sort of works and others need to sort of deal with that. I would rather bolt then say that to an actual person’s face though!

The caffeine thing is a revelation!

Alot of posters are focussing on your executive function issues and going straight to ADHD but your other issues- the obsessions, the eye contact, the way you structure your thinking sound more like autism than ADHD.

It could be both but difficulties with executive function are known to be a feature of autism too.

I was diagnosed at 24 and it changed my life.

ADHD and ADD are now regarded as part of the Autistic Spectrum.

autistic and adhd I reckon. Look into executive dysfunction.
youre not lazy. Youre not even able to initiate the things you want to do, or the things you need to do. Youre not sitting there relaxing about it

I have some very similar traits. I always have something in my brain and get bored easily. I am very messy, but ultra-organized with my time - in fact, I hate change and need routine.

You sound just like me! I'm due to have an assessment for asd next week and suspect I might have inattentive adhd too. The nhs waiting lists are very long so it's best to have a chat with your gp as soon as possible if that's the path that you want to go down. It took me almost three years to get to this point.

[quote Berkeys]@duckyla I needed to know quickly so I went fully private and got a diagnosis in about two weeks (cost about £360). Not doing the meds route rn as ttc. These guys were recommended to me in ADHD FB groups and were very professional and compassionate.

psychiatry-uk.com/

Btw, not something I ever thought I’d have as I am very far from hyperactive - but actually women often do have the more dreamy inattentive form (or combination). My restlessness is in my thoughts

Anyone who thinks they might have ADHD, highly recommend looking for FB groups or other similar because the peer support stuff is amazing. Possibly the friendliest groups I am in actually! Also the youtube ‘How to ADHD’ channel.[/quote]
"the restlessness is in my thoughts"
Wow I can do relate to that. My mind is constantly switching between different thoughts. I see something and I'm like I need to Google that, I need to read about this. Oh I wonder how that works, I must remember this, oh wait what's that over there.

@MistySkiesAfterRain

I have inattentive adhd. Did great at school. Loads of thing that help. Books and vids on You Tube. Here's my list/what I've learned.

Cutting out sugar
Deal with it once policy
Caffeine
Decongestants (also a stimulant)
Adhd medication
Protein
Motivational music
Asd/adhd accountability facebook group
Focus Mate
Walking
HIIT, exercise bike, stepper
Lists
Post it notes
Weekly timetable
Setting short term deadlines
Reward planning
Just start
10 min timer
Pomodoro technique
Pick 3 jobs
Quick win first thing
Start early
Allow extra time
Simplify simplify simplify
Declutter
Intermittent fasting or low carb
Probiotic
B6, zinc, magnesium
Mediterranean diet
Omega 3
Recognise intrusive thoughts and feelings behind them i.e. helplessness, think of someone strong and how they deal with problems, positive self talk
Sleep
Eating more salt (my blood pressure can be low'ish)
Eat pure carb for energy
Limits on distractions
Recharge time
Block out planning time

Is that list a list of things that all help you? You actively take caffeine and decongestants as things that help you to manage your ADHD? Can I ask about frequency?

@MistySkiesAfterRain interesting what you say about Citalopram. I was on 10mg for anxiety and it helped me focus and have some get up and go in me. I decided to come off them for no libido which isn't good for a relationship!

@Mombie

You sound exactly like me! I am currently wallowing in the bath, I know I have lots of things to do but I can’t bring myself to get out. My DS has Aspergers and in trying to help him, I have recognised so much of myself. Following accounts on insta has really helped me to see that it isn’t a disorder but just a different way of thinking. Autisticats is very good and recently posted something about the procrastination being more about processing then behaviour, which helped me to see that it isn’t my fault but something I need to function and make time for and manage.

I tend to make a lot of short lists and if I have managed to get to the end of my list at the end of the day, I feel as though I have done good. After years of being late because of my last minute nature. I have learnt to be early. I can do early because it isn’t the exact time I need to be there but I can’t be on time.
I find social interactions really awkward, almost exhausting because I feel as though I am watching myself have a conversation in an out of body sort of way) and critiquing myself. Sometimes if I pick up a ‘vibe’ from people, I am literally climbing out of my skin and I want to bolt. Yet at the same time, I want to make friends.

I flit between anxiety about people thinking I am a fraud and thinking fuck that I am entitled to live my life especially as so much of my over-thinking has benefitted others. There are positives to being this way and I don’t think I would have achieved academically if I wasn’t the way I am. I am just crap at most other things so I have put my obsessive nature to good use to create a life that sort of works and others need to sort of deal with that. I would rather bolt then say that to an actual person’s face though!

The caffeine thing is a revelation!

Yes can relate to this so much. I used to always be late. Ever since I had my DS though it's changed and I am now early and same as you never on time just early. Don't know why this changed.

I also flit between people thinking I'm a fruad and stuff it I am who I am.

@Squeakycheese

You sound just like me! I'm due to have an assessment for asd next week and suspect I might have inattentive adhd too. The nhs waiting lists are very long so it's best to have a chat with your gp as soon as possible if that's the path that you want to go down. It took me almost three years to get to this point.

3 years! Is that from referral to an appointment? That's such a long time

Ironically I'm on Mumsnet when I should be doing my business but because I'm feeling overwhelmed about making my items I'm putting it off 🙈 and procrastinating!

You sound like someone very close to me, who has recently been diagnosed with ADHD and an ASD.

OP PLENTY of people with ADHD have achieved in life. It does not correlate with academic performance or in many cases careers success. Simone Biles has ADHD! It does however have a great impact on your ability to achieve your own potential.

I was diagnosed a few months ago and my life, understanding of myself and happiness levels have improved SO much. Please explore getting a diagnosis.

FYI my psychiatrist always says that there is no such thing as laziness...only anxiety and procrastination. There's a great FB group called adult ADHD UK...please have a look.

OP I was diagnosed overseas but I understand that in the UK you can seek a private diagnosis and have your prescriptions moved to the NHS once you have stabilised on a med and dose. This would be quicker of course. I would start by speaking with your GP.

@MistySkiesAfterRain
I'm amazed that you were prescribed Citalopram for motivation. I have been on it but the dr says it dulls focus and is switching me to a non-SSRI

I would say asd with possible pda ( pathological demand avoidance)
I am high functioning asd with a high IQ -The Lord Giveth and He takes away..... Much potential wasted due to asd traits and life is now very tricky at an age when I should be secure. I have a mountain of pressing tasks to attend to, instead and yet again, the invisible wall is up and I’m sodding around on Mumsnet instead!

@Pantene23

You sound like me. I’m currently being assessed for ADHD

This.

Not read the full thread, but I think you are autistic and have adhd.

[quote PrettyLittleFlies]@MistySkiesAfterRain
I'm amazed that you were prescribed Citalopram for motivation. I have been on it but the dr says it dulls focus and is switching me to a non-SSRI[/quote]
My Psych suggested escitalopram but thats expensive on the NHS, so I got citalopram instead which is similar but less pure. I take it at bedtime as it does make me a bit spacey otherwise.

@MistySkiesAfterRain
That's so interesting. I've found Citalopram vg in many ways but the "blunting" effect has become a problem so now I'm on a new one called bupropion. Sometimes it's prescribed for weight loss or to quit smoking so quite different to the SSRIs.

Well done for clearly putting your traits down on paper. (In your post I mean!) Hopefully this helped you to see that you have something to take to your GP and ask for an assessment of the type PPs have suggested. You deserve to get some help - even just knowing that it's a 'thing' would be amazing wouldn't it. You aren't alone.