I can't live my life like this anymore........

[Toffeelatte10]

I'm 30 and suspected recently I have something about me that isn't the same as other people.
I thought I've had anxiety and depression and maybe i do but i also have other things and was wondering if anyone can relate? Would a doctor take me seriously if i were to tell them these things about me? The thing thats stopping me is being laughed at i guess.

So some of the things about me that i feel is different.

I procrastinate alot! To the point where i will do anything else possible to avoid doing it. Usually i do it when feeling overwhelmed. I have to do whatever it is at the last possible minute but it causes me a lot of stress.
I can also get bored very easily of things. I'll have a great idea in my mind but can't follow it through. Often i'll feel like i have so much potential but why can i just not follow it through and feel motivated to do it.

My parents have always called me lazy, I wouldn't say i was lazy as i am psychically active but I am a disorganised messy person. No matter how hard i try i can't organise anything. I want to be able to but i can't. As well as messy I am also very forgetful. I lose things a lot and forget where i put things. At college my time keeping was awful and everyday i was always late. Again i would faff around in the morning and put off as long as i could going to college.

I find eye contact hard and uncomfortable. I find it hard to make friends and I can be socially awkward. Although looking at me people assume the opposite. Which then makes it even more tough as people assume i'm stuck up.

I become obsessed with things. Eg. recently i got my DS a pet and i've been obsessed with researching about them, joined groups to find out as much as i can. When i was younger i would be obsessed with books or tv programmes and become totally engrossed in them. Like a form of escapism i guess. Last year i took up a craft hobby, started a shop and now i have no motivation to carry it on even though its done well.

I just feel i don't fit in. I want to do well in life but feel like im my own worst enemy and stopping myself from being who i want to be.

I know this might sound a bit muddled and crazy but had to put it down and see if anyone else felt like this?

Add and autism.

Go look at the Spectrumy Facebook page. She writes about her experience well

Do you also find it hard to get the small details of social things? Ie people saying one thing and meaning another? People not speaking plainly?
Are you fussy with foods or do you hate wearing certain clothes?

Hi, you sound just like me. I recently stumbled across an ADHD account on Instagram which basically described my whole life. I'm pretty sure I have it. No idea what to do about it though!

You sound a lot like my friend who is dyspraxic

Autism and PDA (pathological demand avoidance) sound possible too

I don't think you sound crazy, you sound stressed.

And I imagine anyone who is experiencing what you are would get anxious and/or depressed, how could you not?

Can your GP refer you to a psychiatrist?

I struggle with procrastination and I have just been told that I may have trauma-induced ADHD. I never knew there was such a thing. As a child I was incredibly focused so it makes sense that something has caused this change. I'm going to try medication to boost motivation and focus. My daughter tells me all the girls at school use it to get through exams, I had no idea!

Also, a lot of things go hand in hand ie. ADHD and dyspraxia. Read up on neurodiversity and perhaps join some support groups. There are so many adaptations you can make to make your life more comfortable... medication, brain gym, real life support etc

@OnTheBrink1

Do you also find it hard to get the small details of social things? Ie people saying one thing and meaning another? People not speaking plainly? Are you fussy with foods or do you hate wearing certain clothes?

I don't have any issues with foods or textures/clothes.

I always expect people to do what they say and get annoyed/stressed if they don't. I have a lot of anxiety around thinking people don't like me and convince myself i must have done/said something. But i don't know if thats just anxiety.

Recently, i've reintroduced caffeine and i find i am so much more motivated and productive if i have a coffee in the morning.

You sound like my husband. He has ADHD.

Childhood emotional neglect ?

This sounds like ADD (ADHD without the H). I have it too and the ‘so much wasted potential’ thing feels very true. You could also be on the ASD spectrum to some extent.

You sound very like my best friend,who is autistic.

This is me all over. I have ADHD.

Could well be adhd. Adult ds has this and was diagnosed as an adult. It is something that tends to remediate with age anyway even without medication and it has for him in my opinion - he is 26. Also he has just learned more strategies I think, so he is able to modify his own behaviour to a good extent. He is not able to take medication because of his job, so had to find other ways of coping.

Oh my goodness, I feel exactly the same! I have always just assumed I’m a bit ‘gormy’, but getting older has made me kinder to myself and I now I’m wondering about ADD or ADHD.

Can I ask those who were diagnosed as adults, where did you go? Is my G.P. the best starting point and what do you say?

I thought ADHD before I had read half your post. My daughter and niece (both grown up) have it.

Just read you post about caffeine. Caffeine mimics some of the effects of methylphenidate (commonly known as Ritalin), the drug that helps people with ADHD focus better. My dd's doctor asked if she drank a lot of cola (also has caffeine in it) - she does.

You need a referral to a psychiatrist to get a diagnosis and medication.

Huge similarities to me, recently diagnosed with ADHD aged 38! Such a relief to realise I’m not just lazy!

I don’t have the eye contact/friends thing but my DP does and he has ASD. ADHD and ASD can be found as co-morbidities so you could have both.

I also use caffeine to function but it doesn’t make wired, just relaxed and a bit more focused.

@Berkeys can i ask if you got the diagnosis through your GP? I'm asking as I recognise a lot in the OP and posters. I was asked/told by a lecturer & 2 colleagues (the colleagues had dc with ADHD) if I had it or suggested I might have it.

I could've written your post OP. I go through phases of thinking there must be something medically wrong with me to make me as I am, and then phases of thinking I'm just looking for excuses for being a bit rubbish at life 😅

My dad and son have ADD and I can relate to parts of what they express. I love facts, don't really understand why people aren't more direct and think lying is odd. The worst pain I feel is boredom; to me it's like a sickening raging enveloping feeling. Thankfully I'm busy with a very varied life through kids, work and study.

When I was young I thought I was an alien who should live on a planet where people fly and communicate through instant messages, no boring drawn out conversations. No, I don't tell people this. I project a well considered and organised version of me!

I spend a lot of time analysing what people say. Many feel things like anxiety fairly regularly or emotions that can be hard to manage. Although I don't generally get anxious in the same way (I get bored and move on) It makes me feel OK that life and mental health is challenging for most people. Feel what you feel OP, as long as overall you are safe and happy do you need to do anything about it?

@ToffeLatee10, You might be describing me and I am a lot older than you. But I also identify with the feeling of despair, I was totally overwhelmed by it and the feeling I was and had wasted so much of my life. Always told I had so much potential but constantly faiIing at things or too scared to start. have also had a lot of contact with mental health practitioners going back to teenage years supposedly for depression. In fact I have an appointment to see a doctor and now I am wondering if I should raise the possibility of ADHD? I have always discarded it as so far from hyperactive, I am practically comatose most of the time. Is it ritalin that is sometimes prescibed ?

I had relatively recently got the hang of eye contact after a childhood spent being told to look at people when they spoke and probably not getting jobs because I looked shifty or was too 'shy'. An Egyptian friend once told me I had 'escaping eyes'. Strangely the old Big Bother when they had pschological comment helped me a lot to understand what people meant. Ten years or so is recent when you're old!

Anyway, even though it my improved so my eye and body language has been positively commentated on what people don't know is that I can feel my eyes watching them, am super self conscious, and still feel like a complete fraud in being seen as a 'nice' sociable person.

My 17year old DD is very much like you. She has just been diagnosed with ADHD (inattentive version) and also ASD. (Asperger’s type.) They are very common co-morbiditidities (they go together) and it is most often undiagnosed in girls. It is definitely not a reflection of your IQ, but it affects you socially and how you see yourself. Anxiety and depression are very common. I think you should talk to your GP re assessment. It won’t change anything, but you will have some insight, and maybe you can learn some different skills to “fill in the holes.” There are some great books by Professor Tony Atwood about growing up as an ASD female that might offer you insight while you wait assessment.