Tell me your best examples of cheeky F**kery and unbelievable requests on FB Marketplace!!

[Buttybach]

I have been recently trying to sell some items on FB marketplace. I know there are CF aplenty on there but recently this has astounded me!

I tried to sell some Our Generation dolls play sets.
One of the sets was a camping set where you could clearly see my skirting boards behind the tent and all the accessories were clearly made out of plastic. I had three messages all asking how many people could sleep in the tent!! (4 if you are a borrower)
I also had a 4 poster bed advertised which clearly stated doll bed in capitals. That attracted many messages regarding the quality of the mattress. Not sure why they thought they were getting a 4 poster bed with mattress and bedding for £30!

I also had a toy ice cream truck and a retro diner for sale. Both of which had all the original food accessory parts. I had several messages asking if they could buy certain items from the sets so that they had a complete set! (Erm nope)

The biggest debacle was trying to sell a kids Ikea wardrobe set and loft bed.
I had a lady who wanted the whole lot. She had a van and was coming to get it on the Wednesday. Wednesday morning she told be she was waiting for a refund from another bed she had ordered.
By this point I had dismantled the loft bed and the wardrobes and they were all in my hallway. She asked if we could keep them until Friday. We reluctantly agreed. I explained we had others interested. It came to Friday and I messaged her and she said she would be collecting today.
I asked her what time and then realised she had blocked me!!
I then had a second buyer who had access to a van but wasn't moving into their house until the Monday. We agreed to keep the items as it suited us to do it on the weekdays.
It got to the Monday and she said she was now waiting to hear from social services to find out if her furniture grant had been successful.
Who asks someone to keep a huge quantity of furniture in their hallway without even having money to purchase it.
A lovely buyer came the very next day.

What time wasters/numpties have you experienced?

Two weird things I’ve had.

We were selling an electric guitar and amp. A guy messages to say he is interested, asked for some close up photos which I sent. He said he definitely wanted it and willing to pay the price I had listed. He arranged to come later that day. When he arrived I took it out of the case so he could check it over and he said ‘great, it’s exactly what I need but I didn’t bring any cash so I’ll just nip to the cash point’. I never saw him again!

Second was when I was selling a laptop/work bag. A girl arranged to come and collect. She came to the door and said she needed to show it to her boyfriend who was waiting in the car and just handed me her Mac book, I assume so that I would then know she wasn’t going to run off with the bag without paying. She came back and said her boyfriend was ‘letting’ her buy it. I had only asked for £4 for it!

@Nextlevelnonsense

Ugh. I was moving house. 3 weeks prior, my amazing sister died. My mental health was not at a premium. I was downsizing, and somewhat unprepared, due to the situation. I listed shitloads of very good stuff as free for collection. Had the usual bullshitters that asked for delivery. One was very special though.

This person knew my parents, and that my sister had died.
So that person started to DM me asking for delivery on almost everything.
Initially I agreed on a few items, as I knew them a bit, but it was bloody inconvenient- and they weren't even bothered to be there when I delivered.
The demands became ridiculous after that.
Request for a corner sofa delivered (impossible). Then offered to send a taxi to collect it (WTF)? 'But please hold it for me. I need it!'
I was moving in a couple of days. Impossible.
I stopped corresponding.
The person THEN TEXTED MY MUM, who was nothing to do with the items. They asked her for first refusal on all of my sister's clothes and shoes, because 'their girlfriend loves clothes and shoes'.
That was a week after the funeral.
Some people have no idea.

@Nextlevelnonsense

I can't believe that person. Genuinely flabbergasted.

I'm so sorry about your sister 💕💕💕

@tommmanndjjerrry

I sold a rocking chair that was clearly advertised as a child's rocking chair. A man came to collect it and attempted to sit in it in my hallway to try it out. He was really pissed off when he couldn't fit and asked "is this a children's chair?!" In a really angry way.

"Yes... as advertised"

He flounced off to his car and drove 12 miles back home 😂

😂

I’ve been lucky so far, no CF stories to tell, but a rather nice one for balance. I posted a mid sleeper bed for free as DD had outgrown it. It was well used, but in good condition. A lovely woman asked for it, came and collected the next day with her husband. As they were taking it she noticed my cardigan had a big hole in it and insisted I give it to her to fix as a thank you for the bed. She brought it back the next day all sewn up as good as new! They were such a nice couple.

1. Listed kiddos uni kitchen things for free. The person begging us to deliver didn't mention that you can't park anywhere near the building, so hubby lugged the box in the heat. They weren't even grateful.
2. Listed an ornament belonging to my late mother. Someone messaged to say it was so hideous they'd take it off my hands for free.... We sold it no problems.
3. Listed a 3 yr old iPhone. Had loads of people offering to swap it for other phones or offering stupid amounts like £10. In the end I gave it to DC.
4. Another delivery one. Person begged us to deliver the free item. As it was a special needs book we decided to be kind, as we have kids with extra needs too. As hubby pulled up they were getting out of a car.
5. My pet hate is waiting at home for people who don't show up. Last week we had 3 people not turn up. One lady said sorry she couldn't come but she had to stay in for a delivery... but didn't tell us.

My grandmother died shortly after buying new Christmas lights, they were the Santa in sleigh, Rudolph types of ones. Brand new in boxes, they retailed at £30+ each and I asked £5 which was going to charity (made this clear in the ad). Got lots of responses and people coming to see them. EVERY SINGLE ONE had a sob story about being terminally ill so they should get them for free. One couple were extremely aggressive, stating that I was overcharging 🤔 and they would "take them off our hands" for a price they deemed fit. They had experience on marketplace and knew about prices apparently . That was my first and last experience dear readers. Next time stuff will be left off at charity shop.

@QuantumWeatherButterfly

I'm trying to give away some full, unopened packs of nappies leftover from before DD was toilet trained. I have been inundated by toilet trolls.

What's a toilet troll

Selling something for collection for £30. Asked if I would take £20. I said no but said I would take £25. They said they thought £20 was fair because it would be a 30 min round trip for them to collect it. I pointed out that meant I’d be paying £10 for their petrol and they said they didn’t see it like that.

Not marketplace but a new mums zoom group I was a part of in the first lockdown. Offered my twice used, fully sanitised expensive breastpump on for free to one of the other mums as I was hopeless with pumping and didn't want it taking up space. She was really struggling with BC so I thought this might help. She faffed about picking it up and then couldn't agree a day/time for me to drop it off. After weeks of hassle, we finally had a date. DH dropped off the pump. Man opened the door, took the box from him and shut the door in his face! She then had the audacity to complain that because we were a different race to her, she'd had to triple sanitise the breastpump because our race passed on covid to white people. Erm, no love, everyone can catch covid but it's actually people from my race who are more likely to die from it. Cow. It took me weeks to get my chin off the floor and not swear every time I thought about what had happened. Never again. I've got loads of lovely clothes and things from when DC were babies and am saving them up to drop off to the local refuge.

OMG @dottypencilcase - how bloody dare they.

I bet you wished you could have taken your item back and told her do one.

What a twat.

@DontDrinkDontSmokeWhatDoIDo

OMG *@dottypencilcase* - how bloody dare they.

I bet you wished you could have taken your item back and told her do one.

What a twat.

I was so annoyed when DH mentioned the door closing in his face and then when she came back to me with her covid bullshit, I wanted to march right over and insist she give it back. I didn't though because I'm an idiot. I do drive past her house sometimes (on the way to the supermarket- not stalking her) and call her bitch under my breath.

@dottypencilcase this is beyound CF. What a utter nasty bitch.

I have dropped free kids clothes off at peoples houses and sometimes the partner just goes "oh" then shuts the door. I realised that actually giving stuff away sometimes feels like a pain compared to the charity shop

What's a toilet troll?

Perverts who get off on urination/defecation and their associated paraphernalia.

@dottypencilcase

Not marketplace but a new mums zoom group I was a part of in the first lockdown. Offered my twice used, fully sanitised expensive breastpump on for free to one of the other mums as I was hopeless with pumping and didn't want it taking up space. She was really struggling with BC so I thought this might help. She faffed about picking it up and then couldn't agree a day/time for me to drop it off. After weeks of hassle, we finally had a date. DH dropped off the pump. Man opened the door, took the box from him and shut the door in his face! She then had the audacity to complain that because we were a different race to her, she'd had to triple sanitise the breastpump because our race passed on covid to white people. Erm, no love, everyone can catch covid but it's actually people from my race who are more likely to die from it. Cow. It took me weeks to get my chin off the floor and not swear every time I thought about what had happened. Never again. I've got loads of lovely clothes and things from when DC were babies and am saving them up to drop off to the local refuge.

Horridious cowbag!

I recently sold two large lamps (listed exact measurements, location and collection only). Went back and forth with a woman for a couple of days who said could she come on Tuesday night at 7pm. Great. It got to 8pm and she hadn’t arrived so I messaged her to ask if everything was OK and she replied asking if actually I could post them, and she would be willing to pay up to £4 postage 🤣. I went back and said that wouldn’t be possible.
Woke up the next morning to a barrage of messages sent at midnight saying she was outside, where was I, bring the lamps out, she’d driven all the way from the other side of London. Utterly bizarre behaviour.

I had another one just a couple of days ago. Listed a high chair on eBay collection only due to the size, RRP £70, listed it for £20. It sold. Messaged them to say thanks when do you want to collect, and got a response saying they’re not going to collect and could I drop it over/post it to Yorkshire - I’m in the SE!

Cancelled the sale and let them know there’s no chance they’ll be getting the chair

Listed a belt for free as it didn't sell on eBay and had been listed for ages and just wanted to get rid. Someone messaged straight away, fair enough and arranged collection. They messaged again a few hours later asking if I had anything else going for free