Tell me your best examples of cheeky F**kery and unbelievable requests on FB Marketplace!!

[Buttybach]

I have been recently trying to sell some items on FB marketplace. I know there are CF aplenty on there but recently this has astounded me!

I tried to sell some Our Generation dolls play sets.
One of the sets was a camping set where you could clearly see my skirting boards behind the tent and all the accessories were clearly made out of plastic. I had three messages all asking how many people could sleep in the tent!! (4 if you are a borrower)
I also had a 4 poster bed advertised which clearly stated doll bed in capitals. That attracted many messages regarding the quality of the mattress. Not sure why they thought they were getting a 4 poster bed with mattress and bedding for £30!

I also had a toy ice cream truck and a retro diner for sale. Both of which had all the original food accessory parts. I had several messages asking if they could buy certain items from the sets so that they had a complete set! (Erm nope)

The biggest debacle was trying to sell a kids Ikea wardrobe set and loft bed.
I had a lady who wanted the whole lot. She had a van and was coming to get it on the Wednesday. Wednesday morning she told be she was waiting for a refund from another bed she had ordered.
By this point I had dismantled the loft bed and the wardrobes and they were all in my hallway. She asked if we could keep them until Friday. We reluctantly agreed. I explained we had others interested. It came to Friday and I messaged her and she said she would be collecting today.
I asked her what time and then realised she had blocked me!!
I then had a second buyer who had access to a van but wasn't moving into their house until the Monday. We agreed to keep the items as it suited us to do it on the weekdays.
It got to the Monday and she said she was now waiting to hear from social services to find out if her furniture grant had been successful.
Who asks someone to keep a huge quantity of furniture in their hallway without even having money to purchase it.
A lovely buyer came the very next day.

What time wasters/numpties have you experienced?

I gifted a number of things free and in the main people have been grateful but 2 were not. A was gifting an electric fire and surround. A lady wanted it and we arrange for her to pick it up and she then just ignored me!

I gifted a TV and arranged for a lady to pick it up. One bloke argued the toss about how unfair I was to not give it to him!

I posted 2 adults bikes - excellent condition, hardly used but the shed they were housed in had blown over during a storm.

Lots of interest, obviously. But several messages asking if I could get the bikes serviced before they picked them up.

Ummm - They are free you numpty! 🙄 get them serviced yourself! They were both picked up within 30 mins of advertising. A bargain for the non entitled among us

i put a load of shoes (new with tags) on my marketplace last night and so far i’ve had four messages from men saying they’re interested in buying them but do i have photos of me wearing them so they can see how they fit 🙄 bloody foot perverts. and another women insisting i send a pair of £3 sandals across the country at my own expense.

I’ve mostly given up selling/giving away, too many dick heads and CF
On the rare occasion I do list anything, I put COLLECTION ONLY and NO TIMEWASTERS in the listing, to attempt to weed out the piss takers

Oh and why does the phrase “can I be considered please?” irritate me so much. I mean, it’s polite, it’s baffling as to why it offends me 😂

I haven’t sold anything but was browsing FB marketplace when a jukebox popped up. Full size, working perfectly for only €50. I answered immediately and picked it up 30 minutes later. They’re €800 new so it was a complete bargain. Apparently loads of people were on just after me.
So there are some good stories

@WorriedMillie can i be considered please… really winds me up too! probably because i see the same people constantly asking for stuff. it especially annoys me when people advertise something saying they want it to go to someone in need and you get all the middle class mums popping up asking to be considered.

I was selling a chest freezer for 20 euro.The amount of people who where selling the stuff on was staggering.
I had people offering obscene amounts if i would just hold on to it or deliver it.

In the end i sold it to a lovely man who came for the freezer in 20 minutes.The abuse i got off all the other peole was unbelieveable.

Advertised a free sofa - pick up only. Could I deliver it - no, pick up only. Could it fit in a car - er, no, it is a 3 seater corner sofa. And the best - when do you want to get it? Know. What? Know? Sorry dont understand - right know, hun. Said they could not come NOW, but I could do this day or that day. Got another text, could they come right KNOW as it was an emergency! I didnt know you could have sofa emergencies.

Ha, I advertised a rather nice pair of wellies. Got a lot of interest, including a lady who only wanted to pay half the asking price, I replied 'Certainly, which one would you like?'
Still makes me snigger to myself now.

I have known a sofa emergency. A family and friends were all sitting down to watch a sporting event. The sofa broke and the children went and got a give away sofa at half time from down the road.

@elephantoverthehill

I have known a sofa emergency. A family and friends were all sitting down to watch a sporting event. The sofa broke and the children went and got a give away sofa at half time from down the road.

I was selling a car on there and got asked if it would fit in the back of a van. It was a Land Rover, so unlikely.

I changed a listing to 'sold' as it wouldn't let me delete the post straight away. A woman messaged me demanding I sell it to her instead because she saw it first even though she hadn't messaged me about it. I explained that it had been collected already and she told me she would contact Facebook to get a refund. Crack on, Karen.

I advertised my old fridge free to a good home. Bloke messaged to ask could he have it, I said yes of course. We live in a town house with an upstairs kitchen, DH and neighbour will be home after 6pm so if you come any time this evening they will carry the fridge downstairs and put it in your vehicle.

He turned up half an hour later to collect the fridge. I said it’s in my upstairs kitchen! He was annoyed and said why isn’t it outside ready to be collected, can you help me carry it down the stairs? I said no of course not, it’s far too heavy for me! That’s why I told you to come after 6pm because there would be two burly blokes here to carry it. He said but I’ve borrowed the van and I need to collect the fridge now so I can return the van! I said come back with the van after 6pm? But apparently he only had the van during the day. He asked can your DH come home from work now to help me carry the fridge down the stairs? Erm, no. So he didn’t get the fridge.

@WorriedMillie

I’ve mostly given up selling/giving away, too many dick heads and CF On the rare occasion I do list anything, I put COLLECTION ONLY and NO TIMEWASTERS in the listing, to attempt to weed out the piss takers

Oh and why does the phrase “can I be considered please?” irritate me so much. I mean, it’s polite, it’s baffling as to why it offends me 😂

I've done this, and also added that if you ask me something thats already in this ad I'm ignoring you. They still asked (where are you, is this new, will you post etc) and they were immediately deleted until someone with basic comprehension enquired.

Selling a vivarium on eBay. One that is £300 new and they hold value well. Listed for £150, accepted £125 for a quick collection.

Two days after it went some bloke messages me offering me £50. Told him I'd already sold and I wouldn't have accepted such a low offer. Que 37 messages of abuse over a 24 hour period about how I was discriminating against him because he's disabled and on benefits and can only afford £50. How I am causing him to neglect his pets because he can't afford the right environment. I'm every misogynistic expletive under the sun.

I still use Freecycle and eBay. Not market place as I don't have FB. There are some nutters out there.

Was selling some designer dresses on market place. Got a message immediately saying someone wanted to buy them. Great. Then nothing. A day later got a message saying she lived several hours away, and could they be posted out. I said I could, but it would have to be when I was already going to the post office. Checked the cost of postage, got a message back saying she didn’t want to pay postage, and wanted a discount because she was buying several dresses and was waiting for me to post them out rather than getting them immediately! Told her to jog on! Then got several odd messages from random people also asking me to post things out to them (different address but same town as original woman) so I just removed the dresses and haven’t risked it again

An unexpected move saw me selling a less than one month old sofa. I only put a nominal price on it because I just needed it gone asap.
Lived in a 3rd floor flat. I had plastered the listing with "weighs a tonne" "flights of stairs" "I can't assist" etc

The amount of people that turned up to 'view' my sofa, only to give a big sigh and say "oh what a pity I like it but have no way of moving it"
Then why are you here wasting my time for the sake of £100!!!

Giving away a pair of Dr martens boots that needed resoling and didn't fit my post pregnancy fat feet

It escalated very quickly...

@RIPwalter

Giving away a pair of Dr martens boots that needed resoling and didn't fit my post pregnancy fat feet

It escalated very quickly...

omg that's hilarious lol

Advertised a TV for £50, guy messages and asks "how much?". I tell him £50, he asks for £35, so I say lowest I'll go is £40 (as I'd had a few other time wasters and wanted it sold sooner rather than later).
I ask when he wants to collect and he tells me he doesn't drive and lives 10 miles away so could I deliver. I told him he was cheeky for haggling a lower price and expecting delivery (outside of my town) but not telling me. Then I sold it to someone else instead.

I once sold a pair of black trousers with the labels still on them on eBay, got a low bid and sent them on. Then the woman said they didn't fit her and she wanted her money back, plus her P&P and a return P&P stamp. I held out for a bit because I has written "no returns" but eBay immediately believe the buyer so I gave in as it wasn't worth it. I told her to keep the trousers until they fit (ha ha) and refunded her for an easy life.
Interestingly I've had another CF from the same Cumbrian village/town but different address. I assume I got unlucky with the Cumbrians I have met on eBay!

Going through this now as I'm moving and decluttering. Most have been fine. I always respond to a message even if I have a pending buyer. I had one that sent tons of questions and back and forth and still asked for a cheeky discount. I might have given it her if she hadn't been such a pain. She still collected at asking price in the end.

I've had a load of is this available, and then nothing.... What's the point of that?

The cheekiest was me giving away something free who wanted me to deliver 20 miles away. Nope, I'd rather send it to the tip.

I had some unopened baby bottles that I thought about giving away but decided to try and at least get a couple of pounds back from the cost of buying them. Listed 5 new tommee tippee bottles for £3. Someone messaged me straight away for them and we swapped messages for collection but then she asked if I could deliver as she didn't drive. Now where she lived was a little out of the way but I do occasionally go past it to head to the nearest big town. I didn't messaged back straight away, took a few minutes to considerer whether it was really worth the effort for £3 but decided to be nice and agree to drop them off. Before I had chance to reply I got a message with "?????????" I quickly changed my mind and gave them away for free on a local giving page to someone who had manners.

I was giving away (free) a 100% wool big 8 feet x 6 feet patterned rug. Said clearly in the listing that it was 10 years old, had been down in the hall for that long, some marks and was starting to fray slightly at the seam underneath. But would suit someone needing insulation or comfort in a shed or utility room or similar. Loads of photos. Collection only, gave postcode as ‘AB12 3’ (with accurate details) and details of how far or was from local train station (we are in london).

Ended up giving it to someone who wanted it for their staff room at work which had a concrete floor. Perfect.

But not before I was asked if I would deliver (no, if you can’t collect then it’s not for you), if I would clean it first (no, it’s free, if I cleaned it I could probably sell it, if you want to clean it, you’re welcome to), if I could give the measurements in metric (put together into an online converter if you need to know) and whether I was giving anything else away as well ‘to see if it’s worth me coming out’.

I sold a dog crate that had pictures of a tape measure up against the sides, so people would know how big it was. Without even having to read the text. Lots of people asked me how big it was.