Tell me your best examples of cheeky F**kery and unbelievable requests on FB Marketplace!!

[Buttybach]

I have been recently trying to sell some items on FB marketplace. I know there are CF aplenty on there but recently this has astounded me!

I tried to sell some Our Generation dolls play sets.
One of the sets was a camping set where you could clearly see my skirting boards behind the tent and all the accessories were clearly made out of plastic. I had three messages all asking how many people could sleep in the tent!! (4 if you are a borrower)
I also had a 4 poster bed advertised which clearly stated doll bed in capitals. That attracted many messages regarding the quality of the mattress. Not sure why they thought they were getting a 4 poster bed with mattress and bedding for £30!

I also had a toy ice cream truck and a retro diner for sale. Both of which had all the original food accessory parts. I had several messages asking if they could buy certain items from the sets so that they had a complete set! (Erm nope)

The biggest debacle was trying to sell a kids Ikea wardrobe set and loft bed.
I had a lady who wanted the whole lot. She had a van and was coming to get it on the Wednesday. Wednesday morning she told be she was waiting for a refund from another bed she had ordered.
By this point I had dismantled the loft bed and the wardrobes and they were all in my hallway. She asked if we could keep them until Friday. We reluctantly agreed. I explained we had others interested. It came to Friday and I messaged her and she said she would be collecting today.
I asked her what time and then realised she had blocked me!!
I then had a second buyer who had access to a van but wasn't moving into their house until the Monday. We agreed to keep the items as it suited us to do it on the weekdays.
It got to the Monday and she said she was now waiting to hear from social services to find out if her furniture grant had been successful.
Who asks someone to keep a huge quantity of furniture in their hallway without even having money to purchase it.
A lovely buyer came the very next day.

What time wasters/numpties have you experienced?

Not the same but made me laugh

Advertised a piece of gym equipment for a tenner as I wanted rid. Stated collection only

Had loads of people ask to deliver

One bloke sent me a message saying - mine, coming to collect now, text me your address

Someone else messaged saying they wanted the box / was it in perfect condition/ did it come with instructions/ could I guarantee it

Sold it to the first polite person who asked to pick it up that day

i put a load of shoes (new with tags) on my marketplace last night and so far i’ve had four messages from men saying they’re interested in buying them but do i have photos of me wearing them so they can see how they fit 🙄 bloody foot perverts

Ooh, judgy! Maybe they’re cross dressers/transgender? The last 2 pairs of high heeled shoes that I sold-really quite high-were bought by users with male names on eBay. I have big feet 😳

I was happy to sell them, I’m one of those people that buy endless shoes then end up wearing the same flat comfy Dr Martens daily. 👠 I’m currently selling another couple of pairs-heels, obviously. I’m such an idiot!

I once advertised an unused Stellar lidded Fry pan still boxed ( cost £45+) for £15 .
Had a call , someone said they would collect , didn't show , said next day , didn't show .
A man phoned and asked about it , they said he was asking for his daughter , gave a sob story , no money,
Having to restart getting her life together, would I accept £10 ? Me - No £15 , he then asked £10 and a dozen eggs !

I was selling a sofa bed for £50

A woman was trying to get me to lower the price as she was sure it had buttons missing. - it didn't have any buttons and she was messaging me essays trying to convince me it should have buttons and no one will pay £50 for it

I don't hold anything unless they said payment for the item in full (that way I know they will turn up)

I gave away a load of shoes for free and someone messaged asking could I throw in any dirty socks with them. I said absolutely not and he offered me 20 quid per sock 😱

@Cherrysoup It’s a known thing that perverts frequent these selling sites asking for photos, I have no problem who I sell things to, just don’t ask me to try them on for you first!

A guy local to me was selling various household items- I particularly liked the rug.

I messaged him and enquired- he replied to say I was first in line. He wanted me to pay him upfront to 'secure' the sale, but not have the rug for another 5 weeks, as they were selling up to move away, and wanted to preserve their environment till then.

I just thought that was amazingly self centred, and putting very high expectations on complete strangers?

Maybe it's just me, but that's not how Facebook marketplace works?

@Cherrysoup but why would cross dressers or trans women need to see my feet in the shoes? there were plenty of photos of the shoes from different angles and shoe sizes are pretty much standardised, so how would seeing my feet in the shoes make any difference? fair enough if people have a foot fetish, but it is pervy to message women asking for photos of their feet under the guise of being interested in something they’re selling.

@ShinyGreenElephant there’s apparently a big market for worn shoes! a girl i know makes good money from it. she buys cheap shoes from primark, wears them until they’re all stained and smelly, and then sells them for upwards of £80 a pair! plus extra for photos of her wearing them. apparently there’s certain codewords to use on ebay that people with foot/shoe fetishes will search for. my sister has the smelliest feet ever, i’ve told her she could make a bomb doing it 😂

I don't sell stuff if I'm not going to get at least £20. It's not worth it. So I give lots away. Although this is some effort you do get less piss takers.

But as pp said the rudeness! Wow! People will not say please or thank you. Often won't even say is this available. They will literally just say I can come and get this xxx time or day.

@WorriedMillie

I’ve mostly given up selling/giving away, too many dick heads and CF On the rare occasion I do list anything, I put COLLECTION ONLY and NO TIMEWASTERS in the listing, to attempt to weed out the piss takers

Oh and why does the phrase “can I be considered please?” irritate me so much. I mean, it’s polite, it’s baffling as to why it offends me 😂

To be honest Yabu with getting annoyed at that. What do you want from people? At least they've been polite.

I have loads, with my biggest bugbear being people asking if i can deliver when it clearly states collection only.

I have also had the following exchange following people saying 'il collect it on Saturday' ...
Me: What time please?
And i either get ignored or -
Them: Afternoon before 4
Me: Can you give me an exact time please?
Them: -ignores message-
Them: Whats your address?

Im not waiting in for hours for you to bloody collect, just give me a half hour window or something cant be that difficult?
I deliberately list on Sunday nights now so i dont have people collecting at the weekend.

The latest one was me selling a washing machine for £60, the person messaged me and arranged to collect and then half an hour before they were due to show messaged saying they could only afford £20, so i messaged back saying okay thats not going to work for me but sometimes people give them away free so good luck etc.
They then messaged at the time they were due to collect and said i've got the money now im coming and showed up 5 minutes later with the £60 without me having responded that it was okay to come. Clearly trying it on about the money and i thought it was so rude to turn up without me saying it was okay!

I was selling something and this bloke kept asking if I would swap with a Hawaiian shirt!

For some reason people can't find my house so I specify that my house is at the bottom of the road past a shop and school and I'm on the odd numbered side of the road.
Some man was coming to collect an item and I gave him my address and instructions on where in the street my house is, he went to the even side and said he found the numbers either side but couldn't find my house, I explained that he was in the middle of the street and I'm on the other side at the end, I then got a photo of these 2 houses and he said he couldn't see where my house was, I explained again that my house is further down the street, he then said he is outside so I go to the door and no one is there, I message him to say no one is outside, he says he is knocking on my door and I explain that he isn't and send him a photo of my empty front garden, he then says that it's not my house as he isn't outside that house, at that point I told him just because he can't follow instructions I can't move my house so he finds it easier.

I sold a little tikes climbing frame and slide on eBay. It was damaged, but took plenty of pictures and described the damage to the slide (it didn’t cause my kids any issues). Woman bought and collected it, accepted the damage and took it away. She messaged the next day asking for a full refund as it was damaged but didn’t want to return it. No chance!

We bought a new sofa so I listed our old (but still really lovely) corner sofa on free cycle. I had a woman say she wanted, arranged collection then she messaged to say her DP had gone on holiday with the van key. No problem I said, I’ll deliver it to you - back and forth for a while then she just ignored me. I didn’t ask for petrol money, I was just trying to save it from landfill which unfortunately is where it ended up.

Gave away a huge tv unit, told the person it needed 2 people to lift gave all the dimensions etc reiterating multiple times how big it was and that I had hurt my back so couldn’t help move it the bloke turned up in his car with the whole family and his heavily pregnant wife, I had help him lift it and hurt my back further.
Then he realise that it wouldn’t fit in his little car with his family in it so he had to call a friend to pick up his family and then had to borrow tools to dismantle it on our driveway because it still wouldn’t fit, took him a hour and half to finally go…

Another time we had an old leather suite we were giving away, got lots of people time wasting that wanted it but then wanted us to deliver it which I had said in the advert we wouldn’t do, then we had some people call about it asking was it a electric recliner, told them it wasn’t as that would have been mentioned in the advert then they spent a lot of time moaning that the suite I was offering for free wasn’t an electric reclining suite eventually got so annoyed and told them to piss off

I sold a rocking chair that was clearly advertised as a child's rocking chair.
A man came to collect it and attempted to sit in it in my hallway to try it out.
He was really pissed off when he couldn't fit and asked "is this a children's chair?!" In a really angry way.

"Yes... as advertised"

He flounced off to his car and drove 12 miles back home 😂

@Cherrysoup

i put a load of shoes (new with tags) on my marketplace last night and so far i’ve had four messages from men saying they’re interested in buying them but do i have photos of me wearing them so they can see how they fit 🙄 bloody foot perverts

Ooh, judgy! Maybe they’re cross dressers/transgender? The last 2 pairs of high heeled shoes that I sold-really quite high-were bought by users with male names on eBay. I have big feet 😳

I was happy to sell them, I’m one of those people that buy endless shoes then end up wearing the same flat comfy Dr Martens daily. 👠 I’m currently selling another couple of pairs-heels, obviously. I’m such an idiot!

Surely no one is this naive? Or are you just keen to excuse foot fetishists?

I used ebay - for the last time - to sell my late uncle's very high end hifi equipment

Since it was fairly delicate, I made it clear it was all collection only, so was surprised when the eventual asked me to post the turntable

To Argentina

Eventual buyer, that should have said ...

I was selling a fridge. I must have had 35 responses. The one that stood out the most was a chap who said he'd come round right away with CASH. And I should take his offer because it was CASH.
His offer was half the listed price and I'd had so much interest in the item I said no.

He then said ok, he'd give me an extra £5 and collect it on Thursday! Luckily I don't give out my address until the last possible moment.

It sold within hours and was collected for the full asking price.

The amount of people that try it on is incredible.

@QuantumWeatherButterfly

I'm trying to give away some full, unopened packs of nappies leftover from before DD was toilet trained. I have been inundated by toilet trolls.

Oh my, I had these weirdos when I was selling unopened and no longer required nappies. Fucking grim

@Puzzledandpissedoff

I used ebay - for the last time - to sell my late uncle's very high end hifi equipment

Since it was fairly delicate, I made it clear it was all collection only, so was surprised when the eventual asked me to post the turntable

To Argentina

Some years ago I sold dds leap pad on eBay. It had dozens of books and it’s own carry bag etc. Was rather annoyed to find the winning bidder lived in Spain.

Except she’d emigrated and her family lived two streets away from me. Her sister collected the lot and took it all out to her on her next visit.

For me its got to be when i put something up for free , a toy set, a chair, whatever it is and they ask if i will deliver

Like yer, i will bring the item to you for free and spend money on my diesel for u!
🙈