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Original poster

So - how often *do* you have sex?

129 replies

WigWamBam · 07/11/2004 11:49

Just for you, Coppertop ...

Twice a year, once a year, once a decade or five times a night ... [dire for a relationship that would be]....be honest please ...

Are you ever awake when it happens? Does he have to pull your nightie down when he's finished? Just curious and seriously interested to know ...

OP posts:
nikcola · 07/11/2004 11:49

5 times a night

no really 3 times a week thats enough

Original poster
WigWamBam · 07/11/2004 11:52

Three times a week? Careful, you'll wear it out!

OP posts:
coppertop · 07/11/2004 12:07

Whenever dh is away and the windowcleaner is available. The chastity belt used to put him off to start with but after a quick fling with a locksmith (only 3 times in one afternoon, I'm afraid) we soon found the magic key.

The only time I've ever been put off was when the ice-cream man asked if I would be willing to pull HIS nightie down. Ewwww!

jane313 · 07/11/2004 12:09

I don't believe in sex before marriage

carla · 07/11/2004 12:12

jane313... I don't believe in it after marriage. What's the point

Original poster
WigWamBam · 07/11/2004 12:12

My dh hasn't noticed the spare set of bondage equipment I keep in the cupboard just in case the postman is in need of a little light refreshment. He did spot the dairy maid's outfit that the milkman likes, but I explained it away as one of my dd's dressing up outfits and I think he bought it.

Dh would like it as often as he can, but at our vast age he only gets it when he can catch me awake. I think ...

OP posts:
Original poster
WigWamBam · 07/11/2004 12:15

Jane - my dh didn't believe in sex before marriage either, just like he didn't believe in fairies or santa. I soon convinced him that all three really do exist

OP posts:
DelGirl · 07/11/2004 12:18

you forgot to mention the milkman and the postman CT, aren't they good enough to mention? If I wasn't a singleton, i'm sure i'd be a 3 a dayer with a couple of quickies thrown in . That's the window cleaner, milkman, and postman with the best 2 reserved for the quickies

nikcola · 07/11/2004 12:20

i have sex with the gas man for some reason my boiler is allways on the blink

jane313 · 07/11/2004 12:20

maybe I can use your argument after I get married carla. or maybe I'll change it to; it should only be used for the purposes of procreation and am not planning number 2 till after wedding so I can drink. Not straight after mind as we will have a romance busting toddler in our honeymoon suite. God I never used to think of reasons not to before I had a baby.

Original poster
WigWamBam · 07/11/2004 12:21

Delgirl - what about the Tesco delivery man, the double glazing salesmen and the meter reader? Wouldn't they do for the odd quickies so that the postman, window cleaner and milkman could save their energy? That's what I do, save the regulars for the good stuff!

OP posts:
DelGirl · 07/11/2004 12:22

yeah but they only pop in once a week

Original poster
WigWamBam · 07/11/2004 12:23

Unlucky - perhaps you could try leaflet droppers, parcel force drivers and JWs to keep yourself ticking over?

OP posts:
coppertop · 07/11/2004 12:23

Ah but the new Royal Mail system and lack of regular staff means that we get a different postie every week. I didn't want you all to get jealous of my 52 postmen a year.

DelGirl · 07/11/2004 12:24

oh and I don't do double glazing salesman. Too much talk and too little action

Original poster
WigWamBam · 07/11/2004 12:24

Not if you use Ann Summers bondage tape to seal their mouths with ...

OP posts:
DelGirl · 07/11/2004 12:24

lol ct at bowleggedness, deserves a round of applause that does. LIke CLAP CLAP

zephyrcat · 07/11/2004 12:25

NOT ENOUGH!!!!!!

coppertop · 07/11/2004 12:29

I thought I was spoilt by the huge choice of binmen (and I mean HUGE ) and then I realised that I could make use of the little man who comes round afterwards to give the bins a quick squirt. Why waste a good squirt on the bins?

DelGirl · 07/11/2004 12:31

ewwwww gross and tmi for a holy day. I'm off to wash me smalls (larges). Laters

coppertop · 07/11/2004 12:33
marthamoo · 07/11/2004 12:59

I don't. Never have, never will. From what I have heard it involves a lot of undignified grunting, sweating and the exchange of unpleasant bodily fluids. Most unpleasant. I'm amazed at how popular it is, actually. Why don't people play Jenga or charades as a non-fluid exchanging and fun alternative?

suzywong · 07/11/2004 13:02

CYI MM

suzywong · 07/11/2004 13:02

CYI MM

pixiefish · 07/11/2004 13:14

Used to be Christmas and birthdays. Don't believe in sex within marriage now though and dh won't leave me as I'm insisting he has the dog