What parenting things do other people do that you absolutely refuse to do?

[FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop]

I never bake my kids' birthday cakes. I can buy a very good supermarket one or pay someone to produce something that looks better than what I can do and has cost me less.

I won't do role playing with them. There are no scarier words than "mummy will you play with me - you be the dog and I'll be the owner". I apparently do it ALL WRONG anyway, I usually say something like "instead, why don't we do some painting" or I even say I'm busy. And I thank God every day the days of playing tea parties are over. Me perched on a very uncomfortable toadstool seat pretending to sip tea from a singing Fisher Price teacup for 2 hours and doing it wrong anyway 😂

We did elf on the shelf but mum bought the elf. Last year elf couldn’t come because of covid…..
We’ve never taken a bath with the kids
Co slept
Sleep overs
Christmas Eve boxes
Matching pjs
Trick or treating (don’t agree with knocking on doors expecting sweets tho I will answer ours, my kids will get sweets from me)
We did do Disney, spent most the day in queues. Kids request we go back to Spain the only all inclusive hol we went on before eldest started school and it thunderstormed all week! 😂 till the last day then the sun shone.
I do both cakes. But mine are just plain choc, choc ice and smarties. My kids request this now 😂 I bake one for family. I order one from my sil (she does the fancy ones) or cupcakes for parties. We don’t do class party’s now they are both juniors. Tho I may do 1 more for littlest as she missed out on her last 2 due to covid.

I'm quite conventional so there isn't much I think. I know for about 3 years we've eaten nearly all 'family' meals in front of the telly with food on our laps, and I never make ds leave his phone downstairs. After dh died I just thought a lot of things I used to care about don't matter at all.

Elf on the shelf, trick or treat, football, encouraging oneupmanship, putting huge amounts of importance on levels/stickers/prizes. I'd rather see cooperation and kindness than a constantly having to win mindset. Making them clear their plates or eat in a certain order. Early bedtimes that would stop them taking part in after school activities. Shield them from reality and baby them like some people do. They know about (among other things) periods and death (these two topics often seem to come up as not for children).

Oh and messy play involving food. That includes cake smashes. It's wasteful when people are going hungry.

@Lemonmelonsun

Paradise, tummy fine is about more than thanks holding the head up, look up retained privative reflexes m

I didn't get that.

@Hardbackwriter

I refuse to believe that babies have any need for, or derive any specific from, activities that are designed to be 'sensory'. The whole world is a sensory experience if you've only been in it a few months. I have no problem with those classes as a way for mums to get out of the house and meet each other but I hate the way they're marketed as some sort of essential experience. It's not like if you don't take them to a sensory class they never learn to see in colour or to feel texture!

My friend takes her four month old to a class where they put the babies feet in spaghetti !

DrCoconut I never did messy play at all. That was for nursery to do. We bought a water table and sand but the sand got surreptitiously given away I paid a fortune in nursery fees for DD to play in their sandpits, water tables, paints and mud kitchen all day long!

PermanentTemporary - I’m so sorry to hear about your DH.

Elf on the Shelf
Let them watch me on the toilet
Use a tablet to distract them (during dinner, car journeys etc.)

@DrCoconut

Elf on the shelf, trick or treat, football, encouraging oneupmanship, putting huge amounts of importance on levels/stickers/prizes. I'd rather see cooperation and kindness than a constantly having to win mindset. Making them clear their plates or eat in a certain order. Early bedtimes that would stop them taking part in after school activities. Shield them from reality and baby them like some people do. They know about (among other things) periods and death (these two topics often seem to come up as not for children).

Yes, and cancer. I tell my kids straight that they might get skin cancer if they don't wear sunscreen in the summer. Have also never understood why people keep it a secret how babies are made and that women bleed from their vagina once a month. They don't seem traumatised by it 🤷‍♀️.

Force feed them foods they don’t like. DH thinks we should. I’ve asked him what foods from his childhood he was forced to eat would he eat now. None.

Mine never saw me on the toilet I’m sure they’re quite glad of that.

Oh and I also refused to use a silly nickname for genitals. As a result I actually had another very silly mum accuse me of perpetrating child abuse because she heard me use the word “vulva” to 5 yo DD! (As in, if you don’t wipe your vulva after a wee the skin will get sore.) It’s absolutely ridiculous to go about coyly calling it a “Minnie” or a “front bottom”.

Refer to myself in the third person (eg. "do you want mummy to do it?") when talking to them.

@Echobelly

I don't make fancy cakes that look like anything on birthdays because I'm not capable of doing it; I just make cakes that taste quite nice. No one has ever seemed to care!

I refuse to put tracking apps on kids' mobile phones - honestly shocked how common and normalised this seems to be

Why does it shock you? Out of interest. My son in only 3 but given the weird world we live in, I would definitely want to know I could find out where he was (when older of course!) if I was worried. There would clearly need to be an agreement that it wasn’t me just stalking him all the time but checking when concerned!

What's wrong with climbing up the slide? Assuming there isn't a queue at the top what does it matter

Very grateful to MN actually for me not starting elf on the shelf - a wise poster sharing their ‘top tips for stress free Christmas’ saved my bacon there!

No early starts, we get up late if we don’t have to be at school or work.

Mud pies (outside) instead of slime making indoors

Elf on the shelf … hate the creepy little thing

Christmas Eve boxes

Soft play. I hate it and one of them always got stuck & lots so have to spend ages clambering around it looking like a twat.

Dressing siblings in matching clothes

Insisting on “healthy” snacks at parties and sleepovers. Pizza for special occasions.

Co sleep or let them sleep in my bed. It feels like an invasion of my only just for me space

Baking with my kids. I love baking and seeing my family enjoy it but I love doing it ALONE! Watching small kids try pour ingredients and mix them just stresses me out. I do love making birthday cakes tho.

Massive balloon arches … it’s a trend in my mums group for our under 2s and I just don’t get it

@stampo

What's wrong with climbing up the slide? Assuming there isn't a queue at the top what does it matter

According to mumsnetters on another thread a few years ago...

'That is not how the equipment is supposed to be used'

'It will damage the slide'

And

'But if your children walk up the slide in their dirty shoes then my children will go down the slide and get dirt on their clothes'

Ah my first bunfight. Good times.

I never let mine climb the slide because even if not a queue at the top a child could quickly run up the steps and come down it feet first into DC’s face. Maybe if the playground was deserted. But they seemed happy to go down it the traditional way.

I'm really pleased to hear about the universal dislike of primary aged sleepovers! All my two's school mates seem to have them all the time.
I make DH do crafty magazines with DD and Granny justifies her existence by buying plastic tat.
I would rather poke out my eyes with pins than get either of them to write a class full of Christmas cards. Even the one without dyspraxia.
No Elf on the shelf or Christmas Eve boxes or pretending Santa has his own wrapping paper.

Playdoh,glitter,runny glue,clay

Use food as a reward. Tell them off for chasing pigeons. Say "look, X is/isn't doing this, why can't you do the same as X?". Tell them they're clever. Cosleep with babies. Agonise over childcare options. Do a million classes with a baby.

No matching pyjamas
No matching clothes for both children
No silly rules in the house
No comments made whatsoever over eating - how to do it, amounts, “just one more spoonful” and all that utter, utter bollocks.
Bought birthday cakes
As few sleepovers as possible (at my house!)
No elf on the shelf (spiteful rubbish)
No made up fairy tales, silly stories about natural things or religion
No neat, adult style hair styles
No clothes that can’t get dirty
No parts of the house/pieces of furniture that are too precious for them to touch
No silly words for physical things
Including them in “dilemmas”. Not terrible ones but discussing the cost of insurance or how you get an MOT.

Playgroups. Horrible. Last straw was being spoken to like a toddler because I didn't butter the morning tea raisin toast right to the edges & given a full demo.

Sleep overs / play dates. I'm not interested in babysitting other people's kids. Might change if I find a friend who reciprocates.

I enjoy doing their birthday cakes (DH helps too) because I get a kick out of the end result. I was told by a couple of mummy friends early on I wouldn't be able to, it's not that easy, better let them do it. Got told this year I should do it professionally.

Teachers gifts. My kids can make a card if they wish.

Theme parks. Spending ridiculous $ to line up for an hour to cheer kids on a 2 minute ride & rinse repeat for 8 hours. No thanks.

@drpet49

Let them play on a phone or iPad Buy shop bought cakes- nasty no thanks

This! Why would anyone want to eat a gross supermarket cheaply made birthday cake 🤢 Homemade cakes are so easy to make and absolutely delicious.