What parenting things do other people do that you absolutely refuse to do?

[FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop]

I never bake my kids' birthday cakes. I can buy a very good supermarket one or pay someone to produce something that looks better than what I can do and has cost me less.

I won't do role playing with them. There are no scarier words than "mummy will you play with me - you be the dog and I'll be the owner". I apparently do it ALL WRONG anyway, I usually say something like "instead, why don't we do some painting" or I even say I'm busy. And I thank God every day the days of playing tea parties are over. Me perched on a very uncomfortable toadstool seat pretending to sip tea from a singing Fisher Price teacup for 2 hours and doing it wrong anyway 😂

@EspressoDoubleShot I thought the same, until I went and it was amazing 🙈

We don't do bedtime routines. DD has a sort of approximate bedtime and we just go with the flow around it. Teeth brushed and face washed at some point, then into bed. I don't make her breakfast anymore either.
I do a Christmas Eve box because my mam always did, but we don't do the elf and we don't really do Santa either.
DD is also not allowed her own social media, particularly tiktok. Half her year 3 friends have it
Judging from the parenting I see in my parent friend group, another thing I don't do is ignore misbehaviour or tolerate rudeness and tantrums.

ExpressoDoubleShot
“We don’t send or make thank you cards . Fussy affectation”

I disagree that it’s fussy affectation.

DD has only just turned 2 so I’m sure a lot of things I may say I’ll never do might end up happening. But I will absolutely never do elf on the shelf. I don’t have the imagination, or the slightest inclination.

@Maggiesfarm

Hardback we never had tummy time when my kids were babies, at least it wasn't a formal requirement but I expect most parents did some form of it quite naturally. Some things don't need a name, especially not something as twee as 'tummy time'. I'd never heard of it before looking on here.

Oh, I'm sure that parents have always done it - putting the baby down on their front sometimes is hardly a revolution - but I do think the specific name comes from these campaigns - and health visitors tell you to do it, calling it 'tummy time', MNers didn't invent it. There was a brief period where there was some concern that back sleeping was stunting development and research was done to check it wasn't, e.g.: pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/9794945/ and this seems to be where 'tummy time' as a specific thing that parents were told to do comes from.

@ParadiseLaundry
Am curious as to why you let your kids climb up slides.. can you share please?

It’s a thread about not doing what the majority do, that’s the point
As I said Thank you cards are fussy affectation. Stilted and forced. You’re not expected to agree @ScrollingLeaves

The bloody elf on the shelf

Fruit Shoots

Take them to theme parks
Play football
Dutch braid my DD's hair
"Treat" them to a McDonald's
Watch In the Night Garden / Paw Patrol / Dumping Ground / The Greatest Showman with them
Buy Smiggles everything

@FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop

YY to tummy time

My eldest is 9 and I used to fret like mad about her getting enough tummy time. IIRC the recommendation was 30 minutes per day. She absolutely hated it and used to scream her head off. I bought all manner of contraptions to help her, spent a fortune.

By some miracle she managed to crawl, walk and stay upwards. I don't know many 9yo's who spend their lives flat on the floor on their backs because they didn't get enough tummy time

I got myself all worked up about not doing enough tummy time after a friend said they started at 1 week old and my child would be delayed because I hadn't done it etc etc. As I'm now chasing after a very very mobile baby (who started moving at the same age as her baby) and struggling to keep things out of reach i can confidently say fuck worrying about that with the next one. If your baby is going to take a little longer or get to grips quicker with things they would have taken the same time with or without tummy time.

Nursery rhymes in the car.

Any sort of sleep training or saying we have a 'routine', even more so tieing ourselves to one apart from feeding times I stick to a rough routine for that I guess.

@EspressoDoubleShot

It’s a thread about not doing what the majority do, that’s the point As I said Thank you cards are fussy affectation. Stilted and forced. You’re not expected to agree *@ScrollingLeaves*

so how to they thank people who send gifts by post?

No Church. No Organised religion.No christening. No naming ceremony as it simply mimicks christening
We don’t attend attend faith events. Kids at Nondenominational school

No elf on the shelf - judging by this thread that is the norm though.

Only brought them to see Santa once (kind of accidentally)

The way I played hide and seek with them was I would lie on the sofa with my eyes closed and count to 100. When I finished I would shout out "are you under my bed" or "are you on the back stairs" etc. I never left the sofa. They thought that was how it was played :)

I never had a naughty step or a time out or a rewards system. Basically I didn't punish them (but I do see that this was because they responded well to other ways of doing things ("I'm counting to 5 now" - with different kids that might not have worked)

No play dough. It smells horrible

I let them have fizzy. A lot. Mainly when I have an open bottle next to me and I’m being too lazy to stand up.

No belly tops or bikinis on small kids. They just look ridiculous

Oh and we've been to Florida loads of times but never to Disney.

so how to they thank people who send gifts by post? They call or I email. Gift of telecommunications

Ooh another one... a wind down hour or whatever before bed. We do bath and milk books etc but it's certainly not quiet or relaxing.

I quite like them to get all of craziness out before bed to be fair so it usually involves them running around after each other screaming and dancing etc. They are both good sleepers and usually go to sleep very quickly... except tonight when they didn't go down until nearly 10 of course🙈

No to ignoring their little questions and ‘mummy mummy look at me’, I very much buy into the whole if I don’t listen to the little stuff now they won’t tell me the big stuff later on.

No to not doing nursery or pre-school, it’s mean to expect children to go from being with their parent 24/7 to then go straight to school 5 days a week.

No to starving my newborns whilst establishing my supply/waiting for my milk to come in (day 7!!). Formula can be life saving.

No to sharing my chocolate, that’s mine.

Re elf on the shelf

Can I point out that the "package that is sold" is not writ in law.
You can do your own versions which don't include that particular elf spying

The main thrust of the elf is to get up to mischief so you could buy a cheap cute elf and have your own reasons for it visiting and then getting up to no good and you can do it for the whole month or only a few days.

Anyway what I don't do is stress about the whiteness of socks (esp the underside that no one sees) or shirt sleeves.

I've had parents telling me how they scrub and use the this and that on sleeves and pen macks Arghhhhhhh they won't come out..

I have never bothered, wash them, clean marks I don't care. I've never seen a child in the play ground at the end of the day with clean cuffs. Why worry about it.

I've definitely done disney... I love the films but was sceptical about the theme park and whilst it's not my favourite, we had a fantastic time there and loved it.

Mix of baked cakes... Brought..

I've also never stressed about them mixing up toys or coming in and out with shoes on!!

Turns out I did baby led weaning back in 1999 without knowing it. Back then it was called 'chuck the food on the high chair tray and let them get on with it'. Got bored of the whole aeroplane spoon puree thing.

[quote Onestep2021]@ParadiseLaundry
Am curious as to why you let your kids climb up slides.. can you share please?[/quote]
Sure.

www.childcentralstation.com/2014/01/yes-we-climb-up-slide.html?m=1

Tube slides are an exception though.

Paradise, tummy fine is about more than thanks holding the head up, look up retained privative reflexes m

No elf on the shelf, imaginary games or pandering here either.

I also refused to carry around little boxes of cut up grapes/breadsticks/snacks. DD has always eaten well at mealtimes and doesn’t snack in between. I was lucky she never asked for snacks or seemed hungry between mealtimes when we were out, and she always had water, but I do believe firmly that even quite small toddlers are not going to starve between meals if you don’t constantly proffer them mini breadsticks. I’d go to soft play for a 90-minute session and mums were dragging kids off the play equipment half way through to shove food into them! If a child can’t go without eating in the gap between 10:30 and 12 noon how do you expect them to develop any normal behaviour around food?

I also hate soft play and never ever went unless I really had to, eg parties. Most people throughout history, including me, didn’t go to soft play as a child and we all managed okay.

I also won’t buy DD either a trampoline or any computer games.

Oh and I absolutely won't have cream carpets and fine furnishings then rip into the dc for not keeping it all pristine and expecting a four year old to know just how much that hand painted wall paper cost after she got a crayon over it.