Is this normal ? Friend told me something and I’m wondering how common this is ?

[namechangedForthus]

Was chatting to a friend today and she mentioned something about it being ‘one of those days’ when I said I was just going to get a few bits from the shop.
After chatting a bit more it turns out that ‘one of those days’ is what she has 3-4 days each WEEK where they have ZERO in their account ?

She shrugged this off as ‘normal’ and ‘real life’ but I was quite shocked.
What if an emergency arises or an unexpected bill? She said they have no savings but that the rent and bills are paid and she always has food staples in and a freezer full so it’s just how it is. She laughed that I was shocked! I said I was more than happy to pick up any bits she needed

Is this really reality for people I would be so worried each week if it was me because of unexpected costs but she seemed resigned to this being how it will always be

yes im a single parent to a 12 yr old , get no maintanace from my ex , her dad , as hes on disablity ,but does pay her mobile bill thankfully , i work part time and i experiance having zero in my account every month towards the end of it , sometimes im so skint its unreal and my mum had to lend me 20 quid or so just to scrape through to payday or the working tax credits day whichever comes first . i hate it so much ,but im resigned to it now . its just what it is , rice dinners for me are the norm sometimes and i save the chicken and good stuff for dd .

Yes I have to say, it’s really not what it’s like for most people. Many people say most people when really they mean ‘me’ or ‘most of the people I know.’

@Bluntness100

Some of these responses are rude and wrong. Statistically only 15 percent of the population have no savings at all. The majority of the population don’t live like this. This doesn’t mean it’s uncommon, but it is not the majority of the population.

I'm surprised it's 15%, not saying you are wrong. It's just people have quoted different. I have savings but I didn't when the children were really young.

This was our reality 10 years ago. Because of our ages at the time, we were awarded £17 a week to live on and we had a mortgage and bills to pay.

It's awful that 10 years later people still have zero. Everyone should have something in their account, even £5 to buy some essentials to eat.

However, research suggests that around 15% of people in the UK have no savings at all, while one in three people have less than £1,500 put away. So, a large number of people in the UK are not inclined towards savings and take it perhaps less seriously as they should.1 Mar 2021

I have just seen this. So yes people may have savings but not a massive amount.

I honestly didn’t mean to be goady. It’s not faux ignorance or shock I was genuinely shocked
I am the first to admit that I have a lot going on in my own life plus I don’t think about these things like I said I’m not waking past a food bank each day so it’s not in my mind.
I don’t really talk to people that much in general I have a few close friends not many and we haven’t talked about finances before and yes again that’s probably because I’m quite one track conversations as socially I’m not great (one of the many things I have some help with atm).
I do struggle with understanding how things are for others which was why I started this thread , not to be host or rude or offend or judge anyone just because I thought ‘this seems odd and I’m not aware of this being such a problem’ but obviously it is.

Financially I’m not that independent with my dp working full time and dealing with the family finances.
I work part time and I just have that money which I used for top up shops etc but I’m not really into finances and each day im very set in what I do and this is a rare occasion where I’ve devoted from my usual things a f has someone say something that has made me think about things I don’t usually

Yes this is unfortunately depressingly common. I've been there, and so have a good few people I know.

I remember being so skint in college that I had to skip lunch because I had spent the last of my money on equipment and I was going to walk to my boyfriends house (five miles away) because he had food in and I didn't.

I would also regularly have to choose between food and electricity/gas and spent a lot of time in the library because it was warm and comfortable with a plug socket I could charge my phone up with so I didn't have to use my electric /gas.

Thankfully nowhere near that financially strained now but it's exhausting living that way, being basically always a bit cold, a bit hungry, a lot tired and surprisingly short on time (because walking everywhere takes a lot longer than the bus)

It does come down to circumstance, for example I know that when DS is 3 we'll get funded hours at nursery. That will make a £300-£400 difference to our finances every month! I probably will be able to save. Which will be nice.

85% of the population might have savings but for about a third of the adults those savings equal less than £600 so hardly substantial.

I'm surprised it's 15%, not saying you are wrong. It's just people have quoted different. I have savings but I didn't when the children were really young.

I’m not wrong. Google it. There has been extensive studies on the savings of the Uk population. 85 percent have savings.

The pile on for the op is unacceptable, all this “ the majority of the Uk population is in poverty and has no money at all fifty percent of the time “is totally and utterly incorrect.

But then so are the posts saying mumsnet is full of posters earning six figure and middle class. It’s all bullshit.

@namechangedForthus

I honestly didn’t mean to be goady. It’s not faux ignorance or shock I was genuinely shocked I am the first to admit that I have a lot going on in my own life plus I don’t think about these things like I said I’m not waking past a food bank each day so it’s not in my mind. I don’t really talk to people that much in general I have a few close friends not many and we haven’t talked about finances before and yes again that’s probably because I’m quite one track conversations as socially I’m not great (one of the many things I have some help with atm). I do struggle with understanding how things are for others which was why I started this thread , not to be host or rude or offend or judge anyone just because I thought ‘this seems odd and I’m not aware of this being such a problem’ but obviously it is.

Financially I’m not that independent with my dp working full time and dealing with the family finances.
I work part time and I just have that money which I used for top up shops etc but I’m not really into finances and each day im very set in what I do and this is a rare occasion where I’ve devoted from my usual things a f has someone say something that has made me think about things I don’t usually

Don't worry, I don't think you came across as ignorant and rude, especially once you explained about autism.

Ignore people who are being rude.

I often used to walk miles to work because I couldn't afford bus fare.

Am now more than comfortable but have been in pretty dire straits in the past.

That should say where I’ve deviated not devoted

Anyway, I feel bad now I didn’t mean to irritate anyone I just had in my mind for some reason a totally different idea of what being poor/in poverty was if that makes any sense and I feel bad for my friend

I’m not explaining myself well and I really didn’t mean any harm whatsoever I was just wondering of the situation she described as being the same for lots of people really was like that

I think I will go to bed now and again sorry for coming across I’m the wrong way there was no bad intention behind anything I’ve said at all

@NotSonicTheHedgehog

85% of the population might have savings but for about a third of the adults those savings equal less than £600 so hardly substantial.

No one said they were substantial . Read the op again if you’re having issues understanding, she’s writing about people who don’t have a penny fifty percent of the time, and people are saying this is the case for the majority of the population

Factually it is not. No way round it.

@namechangedForthus

That should say where I’ve deviated not devoted

Anyway, I feel bad now I didn’t mean to irritate anyone I just had in my mind for some reason a totally different idea of what being poor/in poverty was if that makes any sense and I feel bad for my friend

I’m not explaining myself well and I really didn’t mean any harm whatsoever I was just wondering of the situation she described as being the same for lots of people really was like that

I think I will go to bed now and again sorry for coming across I’m the wrong way there was no bad intention behind anything I’ve said at all

Don’t be sorry op, you owe no one an apology.

@namechangedForthus you really don’t need to keep apologising and explaining.

If people aren’t going to read the thread and aren’t going to pay attention to what you’ve already said then just ignore them.

There’s nothing wrong with asking questions to better understand things.

Normal for us, it’s hard.

@Bluntness100 who said I misunderstand I didn’t. Absolutely no need to be rude

@namechangedForthus

That should say where I’ve deviated not devoted

Anyway, I feel bad now I didn’t mean to irritate anyone I just had in my mind for some reason a totally different idea of what being poor/in poverty was if that makes any sense and I feel bad for my friend

I’m not explaining myself well and I really didn’t mean any harm whatsoever I was just wondering of the situation she described as being the same for lots of people really was like that

I think I will go to bed now and again sorry for coming across I’m the wrong way there was no bad intention behind anything I’ve said at all

I think it's clear there was no ill intent OP, please don't worry.

There's so much I don't know about other people's lives, we can only know so much after all.

Absolutely no need to apologise, op.
It's refreshing to see that you're clearly trying to understand more without judging.

I lived like that for probably a couple of years with my abusive ex. He refused to work and would spend what little we had coming in from my trainee wage on drink or whatever he wanted and then I'd be unable to afford bills and food. Hindsight is a great thing but abuse kind of ales over slowly and blinds you at the time. I remember living on one teabag for drinks (until the electric went off), a handful of dry cornflakes and a sweet corn relish sandwich each day one month. Things like milk were an unimaginable luxury and I did washing in the bath with cold water as we had no gas supply or washer. I dreaded winter as it got dark early and cost too much to put the lights on let alone heating. I remember having to go into the bank to draw out a few pence that I had left to buy a kwik save loaf of bread, there wasn't enough to use the cash machine. So yes real hardship does exist. I'm so glad those days are behind me now and I never begrudge needy people help having lived so close to the edge myself.

@MorriseysGladioli

Absolutely no need to apologise, op. It's refreshing to see that you're clearly trying to understand more without judging.

Absolutely, don't feel bad.

"...but I am surprised because I didn't think many people were paid weekly anymore".

I worked for many years in positions where I was paid monthly, however, my tax credits were paid every Friday and were a lifeline for me as a single parent. And after my daughters had flown the nest and I'd been made redundant, I found myself in a position where the job being offered was through an agency, which paid wages weekly. It may be more common than you realise.

It's not your fault - most people don't understand your friend's situation, just look at MPs and their vile sanctions removing money from our most poor, it's just cruel. Pretend you've got a safety net for people who don't have enough so you sanctimoniously give them the smallest amount you think people can live on and then take it away because they're not obedient enough.

I was horrified when a food bank opened in our town in 2008, and what I learnt from that was that we were lucky there hadn't been such a need for one here until then.

I have been on my uppers badly, badly, where I had to go out for walks in the evenings in midwinter when I got too cold at home because when I got back again it felt warm, when I got cold again (unheated flat) I'd have to go for another walk.... These days we're better off but for most of last year we scraped by and my account was often empty. We owe heaven knows how much on Council Tax as they let us put it on hold last year, but we have to start paying it back now. I thinkwe'll manage, just, but I'm not sure.

We're still better off than many in our town.