Is this normal ? Friend told me something and I’m wondering how common this is ?

[namechangedForthus]

Was chatting to a friend today and she mentioned something about it being ‘one of those days’ when I said I was just going to get a few bits from the shop.
After chatting a bit more it turns out that ‘one of those days’ is what she has 3-4 days each WEEK where they have ZERO in their account ?

She shrugged this off as ‘normal’ and ‘real life’ but I was quite shocked.
What if an emergency arises or an unexpected bill? She said they have no savings but that the rent and bills are paid and she always has food staples in and a freezer full so it’s just how it is. She laughed that I was shocked! I said I was more than happy to pick up any bits she needed

Is this really reality for people I would be so worried each week if it was me because of unexpected costs but she seemed resigned to this being how it will always be

[quote MichelleScarn]@Ideasplease322 why is it 'nasty to ask op if they work/does anything that would expect them to come into contact with different people?
Or to say its hard to believe people being skint is such an unusual thing?[/quote]
Because of the tone of your response.

I have said before the vast majority of people in the uk have some savings, so it is only the minority who live like this.

Op was shocked that her friend would spent such a high proportion of her month without any money.

I found the tone of your response nasty, and I am surprised that so many people on this thread are claiming the majority of people live like this. It is simply not true. The majority of people have savings.

We have a few days each month like this. I get paid monthly and that covers the big bills like the mortgage, council tax etc. DH gets paid weekly some of that covers the nursery fees and the rest covers things like food and fuel which is bought throughout the month. That means that when I've just done the shop and put fuel in there's not much/nothing left until Friday rolls round again.

Honestly it's not the worst financial situation we've been in, to know the bills are covered and there's food in the house is reassuring.

It's very normal in my family.
Forever lending my siblings money till their next payday.

@Pebbledashery

Respectfully, you sound lovely but a bit ignorant. This is probably common for the majority of the population.

This.

I've been in that position, and was for quite a few years.
Funnily enough, it was ok, most of the time.
If everything is covered, there is no pressing need for extra money.
A few times it was miserable, but I see just as much misery on here from high earners, people who stress about any and everything.
In short, it's not the worst thing.

@MrsChuckBass

OP are you being goady? I refuse to believe that anyone wouldn't realise some people live like this. Don't you watch the news?

Maybe take the time to RTFT and you’ll see that OP isn’t being goady.

And I still have no savings.

@godmum56

yes, been there too. It was when DH and i were newly married and we were renting a flat while he did his next qualification course and exams. We had eggs and bread in the house and that was all. I made us an omelette and burned it and we ate the burned omelette because it was that or go hungry. The next day was my payday so we could go and shop. It was years ago but the taste of that omelette stays with me.

That reminds me of me and DH when we ate a Xmas dinner of beans of toast 2 years in succession. Luckily DD was small enough to not remember.

When I had my first baby with my now ExH, money was so tight I was often in minus figures with the bank. I'd get tax credits every Tuesday and had to top up the gas and electric for the week, buy all the baby milk, nappies and wipes for the week as well as any thing like calpol/nappy bags etc. Anything left the 'D'H would have off me.

But even a few years on I'd regularly go 3 or 4 days of the week (before next tax credit payment) with nothing in the bank. Still get times like that now but nothing as bad as back then.

I'm sure OP is aware that some people live hand to mouth. Her surprise seems to be that this particularly friend has no money at all, more than half the week. I can understand that.

According to finder.com, only 9% of Brits have £0 savings, so to answer OPs question, it is not 'normal' to have absolutely no money 3-4 days per week every week.

It was estimated something like almost a quarter of the UK population were living in poverty a few years ago. Not the majority, but significant enough to be quite "normal" or commonplace. With the effects of the pandemic; mass redundancies, a recession, the housing crisis, I'm sure that percentage has increased quite dramatically.

Read up if you're genuinely interested Op. There's lots of information online.

@Missedopportunity

Why are people being rude and trying to make the OP feel bad. She's genuinely not experienced this so it was a shock to her. If the thread upsets you, don't read it.

OP I don't think you've been insensitive at all. I remember when I bought my house I had nothing. No room had carpets, I had no fridge, nothing. Bit by bit I got furnished but at the end of one month things were bad. My DP invited some friends round for tea. Lovely, but I had no money. I had to settee dive and go through old bags to try and find enough money to make a very potato heavy cottage pie. It's a long time ago and my situation is nothing like people with children who do it week after week, but it makes you take nothing for granted.

I think your DP was really out of order to invite friends round for a meal when you had no money. How did he think it was going to be paid for? If you struggle to feed yourself then you shouldn't have to feed friends as well.

I don't understand some of the nasty replies to the OP. The vast majority of people in this country don't have no money for half a week every week.

It's not nasty to point out that it's breathtakingly ignorant to ask is this reality for some people?

I'm baffled this needs answering really

I am surprised that so many people on this thread are claiming the majority of people live like this. It is simply not true. The majority of people have savings.

Well mn can scrap the money matters board then, and next time anyone talks about benefit sanctions or need to use a food bank we can all shout "of course this isn't real! The majority of the UK has savings, hardly anyone doesn't, use your savings"

@namechangedForthus

I can’t imagine the stress on a weekly basis of just having all your money gone on bills and then nothing left for over half the week. It’s really made me think

Yeah this used to be me.

You'd think it would be scary but it just becomes normal.

I’m not sure I’m buying OP’s wide eyed faux ignorance

@QueenOfPain, I'm thinking a clever market researcher

Faux shock

I’ve been thinking about this a lot recently as my DD is coming up to 17 and her life at 17 is a lot different to mine. I grew up in poverty and even now it affects my everyday life. Simple things like my cupboards are always full, even the day before a food shop there’s always plenty of crisps, cereals, staples, tins of soup etc. Freezer is never less than half full. This comes from a childhood of never having enough to eat.

Same with electricity, growing up we have power cards in an all electric house, always in emergency credit, always watching the meter sometimes it would run cue dash to grans it aunts for a fiver to top it up. When I got my first job every payday I always made sure I would go and get enough cards for the whole month. Now we have DD I never tell the DC to turn down the heating having grown up in a cold, damp mouldy house.

Even if I know I have £1000 in my bank account I still panic at the till sometimes thinking my card will be rejected. I’m comfortable financially now but I still worry about money and spending it.

Let's be kind.

Autistic people often find it hard to put themselves in others shoes. It might be the same for OP.

Absolutely no need for the nastiness.

OP has explained she is autistic and maybe hasn’t ever made the connection with food banks/poverty/lack of money before. Or perhaps had a different mental image of what life is like for her friends and/or other people. I don’t believe she was being goady, just asking for clarification.

OP please don’t be upset by some people’s harsh remarks, it is clear you’ve had your eyes opened to a situation that you didn’t realise before and had a genuine curiosity. It must be incredibly difficult for some people to see others have experienced their same hardships. I remember being so poor when I was 19 and just left home to live with my boyfriend that I’d often stay at my parents when he’d work offshore as I couldn’t afford to top up the electricity! Everything financial was meticulously planned and as soon as we’d saved up and paid for something, it was back to square one for the next thing! However, now I’m in a much more secure financial position and can’t imagine having zero funds after paying bills. It’s unfortunately a reality for many! I think your friend is very lucky to have someone like you to offer to help.

It’s not unusual to be living hand to mouth but I am surprised because I didn’t think many people were paid weekly anymore

she was saying to me this is how it is for most people

It’s not op. Over 85 percent of the population have savings. I’m not sure what’s happening on here other than a pile on, but it’s not the majority or most people. 💐