Is this normal ? Friend told me something and I’m wondering how common this is ?

[namechangedForthus]

Was chatting to a friend today and she mentioned something about it being ‘one of those days’ when I said I was just going to get a few bits from the shop.
After chatting a bit more it turns out that ‘one of those days’ is what she has 3-4 days each WEEK where they have ZERO in their account ?

She shrugged this off as ‘normal’ and ‘real life’ but I was quite shocked.
What if an emergency arises or an unexpected bill? She said they have no savings but that the rent and bills are paid and she always has food staples in and a freezer full so it’s just how it is. She laughed that I was shocked! I said I was more than happy to pick up any bits she needed

Is this really reality for people I would be so worried each week if it was me because of unexpected costs but she seemed resigned to this being how it will always be

Your friend has it better than me tbh!

@JustLoveYourselfALittle

Yes we were like that for a while, various reasons. But the bills were paid, food in the house. Kids were clean and well clothed. I'd say this lasted around a year for us. But we got out of that hole and now better off. Some people don't even have the food in the house.

That.

My Mum was a hairdresser when I was a child and when I was very small there was no minimum wage and no real benefit system, certainly not like there is now. She worked all of the time, as many hours as she could manage but she got paid fuck all and tips really meant the world to her. I don’t remember this but she has since told me that she’d often not eat so I could have the last of the food and we ate beans on toast all of the time because it’s all she could afford.

We moved house every 3-4 years so I lived in so many houses growing up. We always had to move out because the landlords decided to sell up. Worst thing was needing to move into an emergency council house on a very rough estate for the first time ever. It was a nightmare from start to finish, I used to get rocks thrown at me when I walked to school. Thankfully left that house but we never had a ‘nice’ house, it was always just hand me down furniture and it was never decorated very nicely. I was a bit embarrassed to take my friends home tbh because I always had middle class friends with lovely homes.

Anyway my overall point is that my Mum constantly got herself into debt so I could have decent clothes, shoes, Christmas presents etc and she never let me know how poor we actually were but I think I knew anyway. She’s in a good position now for the first time in her life and owns a nice home but it didn’t happen for her until we’d moved out and she reached her 50s. Sad really, I do feel sorry for her thinking about it.

It’s totally normal for millions of people in the UK though. Lots of people just leave pay cheque to pay cheque, we certainly have in the past too and it’s miserable.

I don't usually have spare money. Bills are paid, food in fridge and budget to have enough for food each week
I get paid on the 26th and have £25 until then

@Bluntness100

Some of these responses are rude and wrong. Statistically only 15 percent of the population have no savings at all. The majority of the population don’t live like this. This doesn’t mean it’s uncommon, but it is not the majority of the population.

I agree. TBH I don't know anyone who lives like this either, but we are older and so are our friends and family. However, I know that there are a lot people who struggle and donate to food banks regularly.

OP I'd be surprised too. Obviously I do know that some people have no savings and live hand to mouth. But I think it's uncommon to have literally no money 3-4 days per week, certainly I don't think the majority live like this.

Yup, we can be like this sometimes, but we do have some cash savings for emergencies, usually around £1000 at any given time.
We earn ok money, our bills are always paid, our children and us are well clothed, and we always have food, we just spend too much money on shit to be honest.

It seems like the typical MN poster works p/t, earns £75k but that’s ok because their partner is the high earner in the relationship. But they think it’s perfectly normal not to have any saving and have no money in your account 5 days a week!

Actually, I'm rather with the OP here, in being surprised that some people live like this who outwardly don't seem to. There was a discussion in my office the other day about how payday was coming up, thank god, so that everyone could afford to put some petrol in the car and get something nice for dinner. I was amazed, because these are all people who live in decent houses, have active social lives (eat out regularly etc) and drive nicer cars than I do. But it made me realise that their attitude to money is completely different from mine. I save quite a lot from my salary - always have - and I don't have a fancier car/social life etc because I wouldn't be remotely comfortable with sailing that close to the wind in terms of finance. I don't really think about when payday is, because I don't run out of money at the end of the month. I realise of course that I'm incredibly lucky compared to those who have very little choice or control when it comes to their financial situation - but it is also perfectly reasonable to acknowledge that in some cases this is also about different attitudes to credit, lifestyle and spending.

It’s a really horrible feeling, having no money. We’ve sold things just so we can eat. Rubbish.

@StrawberrySundayz

It seems like the typical MN poster works p/t, earns £75k but that’s ok because their partner is the high earner in the relationship. But they think it’s perfectly normal not to have any saving and have no money in your account 5 days a week!

Exactly this place is crazy I can understand having no money at a certain point during the month. A few days before payday for example. Or two weeks to payday. But half the week? Doesn't make much sense..?

It's not normal amongst my peers, but it's something I'm aware of as I read about things like that on the BBC/Guardian so I wouldn't be shocked to hear it. Personally I've always been frugal and good at budgeting so even as a student with only grant/loan income or single mum on benefits I always had a bit tucked away.

@Ideasplease322 why is it 'nasty to ask op if they work/does anything that would expect them to come into contact with different people?
Or to say its hard to believe people being skint is such an unusual thing?

yes, been there too. It was when DH and i were newly married and we were renting a flat while he did his next qualification course and exams. We had eggs and bread in the house and that was all. I made us an omelette and burned it and we ate the burned omelette because it was that or go hungry. The next day was my payday so we could go and shop. It was years ago but the taste of that omelette stays with me.

@CastawayQueen I guess if they get paid weekly maybe? So get paid, pay X/Y/Z bills, buy food then no money until next weeks pay day

I’m not sure I’m buying OP’s wide eyed faux ignorance.

DH and I are in our 60s now and finally have enough money.

Before we met, his past included regular periods of 48 hours with no food before payday, whereas I (with two DCs) would be down to be my last 20p each time but I was lucky as we always had food and the one time my electricity was being cut off I managed to borrow to avoid it.

I think there are many, many people like your friend OP. But I also think you were kind to offer to help. She now knows she can turn to you if needed 👍

Happens to us all the time.

Many people are always in debt, many reasons sometimes it's due to insufficient income other times it's poor money management (I know people with high incomes who are in debt because of spending on completely unnecessary crap!)

What's sad is that people often can't work out how to get out of this pattern,

Both DH and I have had times like that in our lives before we met. Not been that way for years but I always keep an eye out for anyone who might be and help if I can.

@Sakura7

I think people are being a bit unfair to the OP.

I grew up like this, my parents lived hand to mouth and were often in debt. They didn't exactly hide it from me and I spent a lot of my childhood worried about whether they'd be able to pay the rent or buy enough food. My friends' parents all seemed much better off, with nice cars, regular holidays, etc, though I suppose you never know what's happening behind the scenes.

It has made me very careful with money and I have put savings away ever since I started working in my first job. I'm very thrifty and always look for a bargain even when I can afford to spend more. I never want to feel that insecurity again so I prioritise having savings.

Me too. Poor childhood but fortunately as an adult I’ve always had some savings. I have a huge fear of debt though and money is my security blanket. I do think so many mothers are thrown into tough financial circumstances when their partners leave them with young dc and don’t pay proper maintenance. Some men are absolute bastards imo.

A lot of people I know live like this, including us until quite recently. Lots of people who don't seem 'poor' to an outsider, but are one bad thing away from being homeless or not being able to eat or worse.

Thank your lucky stars you've never experienced it, and live in a 'nice' enough area/surrounded by people equally lucky that you've never even considered it.

I grew up like this. My mum could really make a penny stretch and then she died and my alcoholic dad was just a mess. So we went from being poor to being really poor.

As an adult, I spent a lot of time in debt to credit cards and overdraft. Many sleepless nights were had. Circumstances have changed for me (luck no other reason) but I can clearly remember withdrawing money from the cash machine using my credit card (with crazy interest rates) to then go into the bank to pay that off my card. I was a professional and not the only one in my situation.
I think things are worse now though for so many more people.

[quote NotMyCat]@CastawayQueen I guess if they get paid weekly maybe? So get paid, pay X/Y/Z bills, buy food then no money until next weeks pay day [/quote]
Hmm in that case I suppose not super shocking..? As more money is only a few days away.
It's not like running out of money for a long stretch..

@QueenOfPain

I’m not sure I’m buying OP’s wide eyed faux ignorance.

Agree! It's a bit like pointing at a poor person and asking What is this please?

You only have to read a newspaper to educate yourself on poverty in this country. It's obvious that you'll cross paths with a poor person and discover they're mostly "normal" hardworking decent people.

No grown adult is this ignorant surely.