Is this normal ? Friend told me something and I’m wondering how common this is ?

[namechangedForthus]

Was chatting to a friend today and she mentioned something about it being ‘one of those days’ when I said I was just going to get a few bits from the shop.
After chatting a bit more it turns out that ‘one of those days’ is what she has 3-4 days each WEEK where they have ZERO in their account ?

She shrugged this off as ‘normal’ and ‘real life’ but I was quite shocked.
What if an emergency arises or an unexpected bill? She said they have no savings but that the rent and bills are paid and she always has food staples in and a freezer full so it’s just how it is. She laughed that I was shocked! I said I was more than happy to pick up any bits she needed

Is this really reality for people I would be so worried each week if it was me because of unexpected costs but she seemed resigned to this being how it will always be

Not weekly but yes it's pretty normal. Single parent family here and there are times I thank my lucky stars I always stock the freezer! It's been worse - had to use the food bank and things. I dont have any savings, well I did but that was used bailing us out when the ex husband took everything. Life sucks for a hell of a lot of people. I am a stickler for only buying essentials and even a penny left over a month gets saves because yes their will be months where we only just scrape through.

Not all people with no cash flow are scum by the way. 'lovely people and lovely kids' don't come with a fat bank account.

My parents lived like this when I was growing up. I had free school meals and the school holidays were very hard. I often went to bed hungry as a teenager. One of the reasons I love Marcus Rashford is the campaign and the conversation he has started about children needing free meals in the holidays. So unfortunately OP, yes people do live like this.

I’m shocked you are shocked and it’s a long time since I haven’t had a reasonable amount in there all the time.

Have you never considered how many people have an overdraft? So not only have they no money at certain times but they are in the red!

I distinctly remember every month going into my £300 overdraft and the day I realised we hadn’t used it for months was a “we’ve made it” moment, lol 😂

This is probably common for the majority of the population

No I don't think it is. Only a small part of the population don't have savings.

Most definitely not normal in my neck of the woods (south east commuter town)

15% is still quite high for people to be so poor.

@0None0

I disagree with everyone saying you are by lucky you have never experienced this.

We lived like this for 12 years, as a teacher and single mother.

I wouldn’t swap those years for anything.

You haven’t had a normal life or lived in the real world. You have missed out

I regard myself as living in the real world I do not regard myself as missing out

And I had an exceptionally privileged childhood and have never experienced even close to financial hardship.

But I did lose my parents in my twenties.
I do have health conditions
And I am a single parent

So normal.

My DH works 12 hour days. I work part time and do an extra 8 hours overtime every week. We still have Sundays where we have nothing in the bank. All bills are paid and kids want for nothing. It's shit, but as long as the kids are fine, that's all I care about ❤️

I met my DP when I had to visit the food bank a week before Christmas.
The friend supposed to pick me up couldn't make it, and sent someone wonderful to help with my bags. I've adored him from that day. He's never brought up the struggles I was having or made me feel less than he is.
I don't know if at the time he thought that was how I always lived. That was the only time I'd had to use the service but I regularly went days spending zero money.
We've gone through times like this together too

Unfortunately it’s extremely common. To be working poor and literally have no money,no savings,no contingencies fund scrapping on by each month. Using food bank is common in such situations. Your friend is clearly used to it,that grind of just getting by. I grew up in such a family,always skint,no savings…just getting by. It’s debilitating way to live it wears away and erodes your well-being

I lived like this for a long time. Its soul destroying. The only saving grace was that due to never having any type of credit prior to having kids, I had a really bad credit score so couldn't borrow and get myself in debt. I did borrow from my mum occasionally, but I just muddled through and eventually got to a place where I would still have money at the end of the week (getting rid of exh also helped). Im self employed and have zero savings. But my bills are all paid, I have very little debt (slowly building my credit score) and there's always food in the cupboards. If I have more than £100 in the bank spare I feel like I'm loaded 😂

@NurseMumMe

I’m a nurse and lone parent of 3- own my own home but my wages cover bills then I have £50 a week for food/clothes/social events/trips out/treats etc - any unexpected bills and we have a problem! I juggle constantly and sell outgrown / unwanted items to set money aside for Xmas / new clothes. It’s very stressful living this way but my earning capacity is restricted as can’t do nights or weekends as no childcare etc

You will be entitled a very substantial amount of universal credit

There are folks who are bringing in £4000 a month and live like that. How is that possible?

@Weirdlynormal

This is probably common for the majority of the population

No I don't think it is. Only a small part of the population don't have savings.

I don't have savings. Who else doesn't have savings?

,,,,

We went for days without spending money when I was little. I also had skint days/ weeks where I lived off budget food and had no money til the next payday when I was in my 20s.
I had kind of forgotten what it was like until I almost got back into my overdraft recently. I think there's a lot of it about.

It’s an easy situation to be in and I think a lot of people living in ‘poverty’ or who are down to their last pennies are due to poor financial management. Not a popular opinion, but people prioritise the wrong things. My DP works in debt recovery…you hear every excuse under the sun for why people have failed to pay a priority bill. You lose sympathy fast.

@Mirw

There are folks who are bringing in £4000 a month and live like that. How is that possible?

I’d be astonished if anyone has a salary of £4K a month and is struggling On £4K a month to struggle is clearly school fees,mortgage, big spends

Had this many times, my pay would go in on the first of the month, all my bills would have gone by the 5th of the month and I'd be left with £5.00 in the account. All because my (now ex) boyfriend had been gambling online with my bank account - he massively controlled everything, my bank account, my happiness, my life. Got onto a DMP which massively helped and cleared my debt after 3 years. It was so very hard and I would go without a lot, holidays were out of the question, no going out to the pub or cinema or to eat e.t.c without strict careful planning months beforehand. No chance of diverting money to a savings account, no new clothes or household items - I would buy minimum and always use the charity shop, or do my food shop late in the day when the yellow discount stickers were rampant. One time it was a big family birthday and they had booked a meal at an Italian restaurant. I went along but only ordered a side portion of salad which cost about £2.00 whilst everyone else had a big full dinner. Everyone thought I was being super-strict about my diet and I made out like that was the case but it was because I couldn't afford to spend more than that on the meal. (Was silently gutted inside when a family member picked up the bill for the whole table at the end of the night!) I'm still in the same sort of situation although not nearly as desperate, but only because DP (new partner, not arsehole ex-gambler) was made redundant thanks to Covid and has only recently found a new job, meaning that my wage was the only source of income coming in, although thankfully we were left with more than £5.00 in the account!

Sorry for the essay, it's a bit of a cathartic rant :)

I have been there, it made me feel very anxious until I accepted that as long as the bills were paid and the food cupboard was full we would be ok, and we were.

That time really honed my saving skills once better times arrived.

@RampantIvy - you’re right. I do apologise and I have just PMd the OP to apologise too

In the 1980s when left a boyfriend and was living alone in one room, I had to live on porridge for a few weeks as couldn't afford food after fares and rent. I think my Nan had a word with Dad as he gave me a cheque a few weeks later! Things much better now but I haven't forgotten those days.

Nope. I get about £8 a week wtc and child benefit. I’ve tried. Believe me !

I think a lot of people living in ‘poverty’ or who are down to their last pennies are due to poor financial management.

Not really, that’s why universal credit exist, you can be working 3 minimum salary jobs and still be out of money after the mortgage is paid (not everyone qualifies for financial help even if working full time and living in expensive cities.

When I was a child in the 1950s my mum used to borrow 10 shillings (50p) off the next door neighbour every Tuesday to see her through the week. How sad that things havent change in 2021