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Original poster

Is this normal ? Friend told me something and I’m wondering how common this is ?

536 replies

namechangedForthus · 12/07/2021 20:20

Was chatting to a friend today and she mentioned something about it being ‘one of those days’ when I said I was just going to get a few bits from the shop.
After chatting a bit more it turns out that ‘one of those days’ is what she has 3-4 days each WEEK where they have ZERO in their account ?

She shrugged this off as ‘normal’ and ‘real life’ but I was quite shocked.
What if an emergency arises or an unexpected bill? She said they have no savings but that the rent and bills are paid and she always has food staples in and a freezer full so it’s just how it is. She laughed that I was shocked! I said I was more than happy to pick up any bits she needed

Is this really reality for people I would be so worried each week if it was me because of unexpected costs but she seemed resigned to this being how it will always be

OP posts:
Peach1886 · 13/07/2021 17:45

Yup normal here too, both of us work in the not-for-profit sector where wages aren't great and running out of money before the end of each month happens every month - we live on the (ever-increasing) overdraft until one of us gets paid and the bank are thankfully very understanding about our mortgage.

I can't imagine a month when there's money left to save...that would be lovely!

Jayne35 · 13/07/2021 17:50

It was like that for me when I had young children, now they are adults though we have money left at month end and savings.

L3andlosingit · 13/07/2021 17:53

I’ve been living with debt since uni except for a period of about five years in my early thirties.

We have now finally stopped it growing but we pay off as much in debt payments as our mortgage each month. One loan payment finishes in a year. The other one (twice the size) is with us for another five years. We will feel rich at the end of it if we can continue to not add to it. Fingers crossed.

We always have a week to ten days each month when we eat down the cupboards and hope we have enough to cover lunch boxes.

The trickiest part is saving up the money for the annual car service, Christmas and birthdays. This year we have secondary uniform money to find. There is always a bill. I only get my hair cut once a year. Most of my clothes have moth holes but I only buy new ones when they’re too obvious. Usually shop in the charity shops or eBay. 🤷‍♀️ I think it’s normal but people put on a front.

TheWitchOfShields · 13/07/2021 17:56

Yes, been there, done that. It's a reality for a lot of people sadly 😥

Mumof32017 · 13/07/2021 17:56

Why are people being so rude? She only asked a question.
Myself and my husband have separate bank accounts - I do this because he’s shit with money. Sometimes he can be over his overdraft 🤦🏻‍♀️

peppermintpat · 13/07/2021 17:58

That's my life pretty much. Pay check to pay check as they say in the US. It's crap but will never change. I rent with my partner, we both have basic jobs and live ok but no savings and no way to save anything. I do worry about the future. If my partner dies I will be up the creek with no paddle and on the mercy of social services.

crochetmonkey74 · 13/07/2021 17:59

Frankly I would have been thrilled with this, first few years of working I lived entirely at the max of my overdraft, my wages sometimes didn’t even get me out of it.

Muddydoor · 13/07/2021 18:04

The memories of my life being so shit I had to get anti-depressants, as a result of which I had no money for food.

moosel · 13/07/2021 18:04

I don't even hit £0 after I've been paid! (single parent, 2 young kids, part-time for childcare reasons) The car went this week so another credit card and hope for the best. Endless cycle. Sad

Amblu81 · 13/07/2021 18:06

I have been living like this for 12 years!! Before then always had savings for emergencies, sensibilish new car, my own flat and money left over. Add in a relationship with a very selfish man and 2 children (yes yes I know...... but I honestly thought he would change.... lesson learnt) now going through debt management charities and just getting on top of it. Not enough money to get away from the ex bit each month it is mounting up for our escape!

tvdinners43 · 13/07/2021 18:10

More common than you'd realise. Poverty among the working population is higher than ever.

TrixieThunder · 13/07/2021 18:13

I think it’s very common when you come from a particular life that you just don’t realise the reality (and all the ‘wealthy and successful’ people on MN don’t really help). I don’t fully blame you for not realising, but there it’s also not uncommon.

For some people, it’s just another day of life. I’ve been there, I had more deposable income for a while and now my savings are depleted I’m there again. It is crap and hard and miserable. In fact it’s even worse now when after being in a more comfortable position but I figure as long as DS is fed and happy, it’s not the end of the world. It’s just difficult.

mrsgrealish69 · 13/07/2021 18:16

Not weekly but pretty much the last few days of each month we are down to nothing. We both work full-time but sadly it’s just the reality for a lot of people.

Snaketime · 13/07/2021 18:16

Yes this is has been my reality for over 3 years. My husband works full time and I work 2 jobs now and we actually have some spare money to play with and a very small amount of savings.
It is very stressful and almost drove me to a breakdown, but pretty much everyone I know is in the same.

FireandBrimstone · 13/07/2021 18:20

@namechangedForthus

That should say where I’ve deviated not devoted

Anyway, I feel bad now I didn’t mean to irritate anyone I just had in my mind for some reason a totally different idea of what being poor/in poverty was if that makes any sense and I feel bad for my friend

I’m not explaining myself well and I really didn’t mean any harm whatsoever I was just wondering of the situation she described as being the same for lots of people really was like that

I think I will go to bed now and again sorry for coming across I’m the wrong way there was no bad intention behind anything I’ve said at all

I really hope all the people having a poke have RTFT and spotted where OP referred to her autism. That is a factor not only in the poster’s query, but also how her original post was worded and the wording of every other (balanced and respectful, IMO) response too.
pcl09 · 13/07/2021 18:21

Most people have had that time in their lives. I remember when cash machines used to give out fivers and I would go into the back and write a cheque to cash for the last £5 in my account knowing it would take half an hour to hit their system… and then walk outside and draw my last £5 out of my account from the cash machine sending me £5 overdrawn when the cheque went through… but at least able to eat!

wedswench · 13/07/2021 18:22

I used to be like you OP. Now it's a regular occurrence here to not have a penny in the account the last week of the month.

We always have food (almost - have used a food bank twice) but if anything came up unexpectedly it just wouldn't get paid and I regularly move money in to a separate account so it's not gobbled up by a direct debit.

A friend and I bounce the same £20 back and fore every couple of weeks as we get our benefits at different times.

Sadly I think it's quite common

AuroraSophia · 13/07/2021 18:22

I live like this most weeks with two young children. Bills are paid, food in the fridge and fuel in the car so on the whole you just deal with it! And if emergencies come along you are simply screwed 😂

Whycantibeapuppy · 13/07/2021 18:24

I currently have 36p. This is so normal

wedswench · 13/07/2021 18:24

Also, lots of strange meals at the end of the month where there's not much left that would naturally go together

enjoyingscience · 13/07/2021 18:27

Very normal. We are incredibly lucky to have savings now, but it hasn’t always been that way. If your costs and income are fixed, once you’re in that situation you’re stuck, and generally with costs rising faster than wages, it’s not an improving picture, so even getting a pay rise doesn’t buy you enough slack to make a pile big enough to fall back on.

Living like that for a big chunk of my life (and certainly all of my childhood) has definitely given me an incredibly risk averse approach to money.

Littlepurpledragon · 13/07/2021 18:28

I had a small part time job which boasted the bank balance a week and a bit before my partners pay day. Due to covid I lost my job so now we live in the overdraft each month. Until I can get a proper job when my toddler goes to school its just the way of the world for us. It sucks!

roarfeckingroarr · 13/07/2021 18:32

This isn't common, despite MN's competitive "you don't know you're born" BS

NurseMumMe · 13/07/2021 18:32

I’m a nurse and lone parent of 3- own my own home but my wages cover bills then I have £50 a week for food/clothes/social events/trips out/treats etc - any unexpected bills and we have a problem! I juggle constantly and sell outgrown / unwanted items to set money aside for Xmas / new clothes. It’s very stressful living this way but my earning capacity is restricted as can’t do nights or weekends as no childcare etc

Newmum3200 · 13/07/2021 18:35

She is probably better off than most if the bills are paid, there’s food in the cupboards and they are not sinking in debt. Certainly a situation I grew up in. When my mum said she had no money she meant she had NO MONEY. Not after savings. Not after bills. As in none.

I am fortunate to have been given the opportunities to work myself out of poverty but I know many people who will probably live hand to mouth forever.

You are very very fortunate to not know this BUT I can see how that could quite easily happen. If you’ve never grown up in that environment and never known anyone open enough to tell you about it, how would you know?