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Original poster

Is this normal ? Friend told me something and I’m wondering how common this is ?

536 replies

namechangedForthus · 12/07/2021 20:20

Was chatting to a friend today and she mentioned something about it being ‘one of those days’ when I said I was just going to get a few bits from the shop.
After chatting a bit more it turns out that ‘one of those days’ is what she has 3-4 days each WEEK where they have ZERO in their account ?

She shrugged this off as ‘normal’ and ‘real life’ but I was quite shocked.
What if an emergency arises or an unexpected bill? She said they have no savings but that the rent and bills are paid and she always has food staples in and a freezer full so it’s just how it is. She laughed that I was shocked! I said I was more than happy to pick up any bits she needed

Is this really reality for people I would be so worried each week if it was me because of unexpected costs but she seemed resigned to this being how it will always be

OP posts:
episcomama · 13/07/2021 14:51

@Gilead

I can barely compute that someone in such a precarious position isn't doing everything they possibly can to get out of it. Because some of us are disabled and have no choices, because some people here are in a refuge, because some are being coerced, because some have children with disabilities. So many good reasons. Just because you’ve run a marathon doesn’t mean everyone has the means or ability to do the same. It’s very easy to say ‘WellI did it’ but you are missing the bigger picture.
My reference to "everything they can" suggests the exclusion of the disabled and people living in refuges, surely? There's no suggestion of either of those factors in the OP.
Monsteres · 13/07/2021 15:00

@episcomama some of us can't work full time as we have children to care for?! I moved out of home at 15 and have worked full time ever since until I had my children where I had to go part time as even in full time work I can't afford child care! Stop trying to tar people who work part time as lazy!!

NewYearNewTwatName · 13/07/2021 15:09

Monsteres Flowers

it's like banging your head against a brick wall sometimes.

episcomama · 13/07/2021 15:16

@Monsteres Did you read what I wrote? My specific reference was to doing "everything they possibly can." Can.

Monsteres · 13/07/2021 15:44

@episcomama how do you know the lady the OP is referring to isn't doing everything that she can to get out of it?

episcomama · 13/07/2021 15:55

It was a general point and the OP does not suggest she is.

user1471538283 · 13/07/2021 16:09

For many years I had nothing left the day before payday and money worries were overwhelming.

I think it is normal to have no money at the end of the month. It is very stressful though.

NewYearNewTwatName · 13/07/2021 16:11

It was a general point and the OP does not suggest she is

well up until a day ago the OP didn't know her friend was even struggling, so I very much doubt she knows anything at all about the family circumstances re financial planning and what does and doesn't work for that family.

so your sweeping judgement on having no sympathy for someone 'only' working part time and should work full time, wasn't a general point at all.

You don't know shit about this person or the many people who work part time just to keep a roof over their heads. As has been said sometimes working full time with cost of childcare can actually mean having no income at all or less then working part time.

Ideasplease322 · 13/07/2021 16:14

@user1471538283

For many years I had nothing left the day before payday and money worries were overwhelming.

I think it is normal to have no money at the end of the month. It is very stressful though.

User I think this thread has overwhelming shown the evidence that it is not normal to have no money at the end of the month. Yes it does unfortunately happen for some people - but they vast majority of people have at least some savings to fall back on (even if that is only a very small amount). Not being able to afford food for a few days each month isn’t what the majority of the population experience. That doesn’t invalidate people’s personal and really tough experiences - but it thankfully isn’t the norm

It is a huge problem that a significant minority of the population are in This precarious financial position - but people shouldn’t accept it as normal.

DinaofCloud9 · 13/07/2021 16:16

I'm shocked that you're shocked.

Neondisco · 13/07/2021 16:42

I'm not in this situation. But remember at uni and in early career this being the case. Probably due to not great budgeting as a young person with no responsibility, if I'm honest.

But unfortunately yes I think this is the case for many people. Who are budgeting and being sensible. But they are simply on a very tight budget.

Now as an adult in my 30s it would stress me out. But I think lots of people just have to live with it.

myfuckingfreezer · 13/07/2021 16:51

I'm going to go against the grain here and say no, this isn't normal for the majority of people (though still too normal for too many).

9% of people in the UK have no savings. Which means that 91% of people do have savings and therefore a buffer from that £0 bank balance.

Before everyone piles on, that doesn't mean I don't this poverty is a serious systemic and structural issue for far too many people. I just don't think that it's that normal/common for most people to regularly have no money at all.

mumda · 13/07/2021 17:24

I think the question is should it be normal?

I've known of couples who both work earning good money who have absolutely nothing left at the end of the month, and borrow to pay for a holiday.

Everyone should be able to save even if it's only £1 a week. Someone I know used to save £2 coins. Not because she liked them but because she got one every other week or so and it allowed her to put money into a tin for the rainy day that invariably turns up.

Nohomemadecandles · 13/07/2021 17:28

Depending on how old you were @episcomama that would invite a call from social services these days.

I'm quite sure most of mumsnet isn't living in the real world. The pretence of perfection is insane sometimes

Bluntness100 · 13/07/2021 17:30

@mumda

I think the question is should it be normal?

I've known of couples who both work earning good money who have absolutely nothing left at the end of the month, and borrow to pay for a holiday.

Everyone should be able to save even if it's only £1 a week. Someone I know used to save £2 coins. Not because she liked them but because she got one every other week or so and it allowed her to put money into a tin for the rainy day that invariably turns up.

But it’s normal. Factually it isn’t, and the example you give is simply folks who are shit with money.
tam136 · 13/07/2021 17:31

Yup. Full time working single mum and this is always the last week before pay day.

Bluntness100 · 13/07/2021 17:31

Sorry that should say not normal

Dagnabit · 13/07/2021 17:34

When I lived in my flat by myself after finishing Uni, I lived in my overdraft and by using credit cards and loans for 4 years. I always had access to money, it just wasn't mine! When I moved in with my now DH, I managed to clear all my debt fairly quickly.

I do think some people are giving the OP a hard time though. If you haven't experienced it then it would be quite surprising that somebody completely runs out of money on the 4th day of every week.

Mamanyt · 13/07/2021 17:37

It is far more common than many people realize. I can remember going without lunches at work for a week or two so that my sons could go with friends to some activity. But they were always fed, and had clean, decent clothes. There was rarely money left at the last few days of the pay period. Much of the world lives like this. It is why income inequality has become such a rallying point in many political arenas.

WhatAFlaminGalah · 13/07/2021 17:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LittleMissPlant · 13/07/2021 17:38

Very common.
Welcome to the real world

Namechangerextraordinaire1 · 13/07/2021 17:38

Yes we live paycheck to paycheck. No savings at all and if we have an unexoected bill it's yet more debt to add to the pile. Which in turn takes out of our monthly income meaning we have even less money to work with and less chance to save.

I currently have 8.50 in my account and get paid next Friday

caringcarer · 13/07/2021 17:39

I know a few who run out of money in last week of most months and go into overdraft but I did not realise it is common to run out of money every week and not have no money left at all. I don't know what they would do if an emergency struck like car failing MOT. Put it on their credit card I suppose, if not maxed out. When my kids were small things were often tight if several bills fell in one month but I tried to anticipate lean periods and always went without myself to keep something back in reserve.

MrsKeats · 13/07/2021 17:42

It's not the majority of people who live like this.
It's a significant minority though and has grown massively.
People still vote Tory though don't they?

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHaands · 13/07/2021 17:43

Ha ha ha. We spend the spend the second half of each month with our banks accounts in that condition. It's called having very little (or zero) disposable income